A little rant

[AsTimeBurns]

Just feel like a bit of a rant since i'm feeling quite down at the moment. Feel free to ignore it.

So I'm 25 now, living at home with my parents still. Never had a girlfriend (never even kissed a girl...hell never even held hands with a girl or spent any time alone with one), don't have any real friends any more. Every day is spent the same way - go to work, come home, sit in my room either on the internet or reading or something, go to sleep, repeat. It's incredibly dull and lonely.

I keep kidding myself that one day it'll turn around, i'll meet someone nice, maybe have a family, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that i'm going to die alone. I'm not exactly the best looking person (i still have issues with my skin - spots, redness, etc... that looks horrible), and of course no self-confidence to go anywhere and try to meet people.

Usually what happens is every few months I feel a renewed sense that maybe I can find someone, so I go back to the dating sites, pay a ridiculous amount for theirt subscription. I'll have a few conversations with people, it'll seem like it's going okay and then they just stop responding all of a sudden. Happened the other day. Was having a nice conversation with a girl, we were getting along fine (she messaged me in the first place, not the other way round), then bam, she closed the match to prevent any further communication. Gets me down, because all I can then think about is - what did i do wrong?

It's a bit of a cycle really. I know there are things I could do to probably make friends, for instance volunteer work, but then I'm too scared to go and actually do it so I just feel worse again. And it;'s not like I never try anything, i';ve been at my job for over a year, I've joined a badminton club, I try to talk to people, but it's just impossible for me to make friends any more. I've made acquaintances, sure, but no-one I would ever hang out with outside of work for example. Whilst I see all my old school friends on facebook in long-term relationships, going abroad on trips, doing all sorts of interesting things.

It's just all very depressing. I'm sure there are other people out there who may be in a similar boat, but I just felt like getting some of it off my chest.

 

[A86]

i am sorry you feel stuck

 

[Xervello]

So I'm 25 now, living at home with my parents still. Never had a girlfriend (never even kissed a girl...hell never even held hands with a girl or spent any time alone with one), don't have any real friends any more. Every day is spent the same way - go to work, come home, sit in my room either on the internet or reading or something, go to sleep, repeat. It's incredibly dull and lonely.

I feel for ya, man. I'm 36, living at home, never had a girlfriend. Plus I don't have a job or go out at all. So it could be worse, lol. The thing is, you just gotta keep trying. The one way to ensure you'll be alone is to give up. I know it may seem hopeless, but as long as you keep putting yourself out there the opportunities will come. You just have to be very patient.

I keep kidding myself that one day it'll turn around, i'll meet someone nice, maybe have a family, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that i'm going to die alone. I'm not exactly the best looking person (i still have issues with my skin - spots, redness, etc... that looks horrible), and of course no self-confidence to go anywhere and try to meet people.

I have skin issues, too. I'm still in my 30's and I get acne. I'm in perpetual puberty, me thinks, ha ha. But I've learned to be comfortable with 'this is who I am' and girls respond to confidence more than anything else. So if you can somehow find some within yourself, it can be attractive to women. Despite however you may look.

Usually what happens is every few months I feel a renewed sense that maybe I can find someone, so I go back to the dating sites, pay a ridiculous amount for theirt subscription. I'll have a few conversations with people, it'll seem like it's going okay and then they just stop responding all of a sudden. Happened the other day. Was having a nice conversation with a girl, we were getting along fine (she messaged me in the first place, not the other way round), then bam, she closed the match to prevent any further communication. Gets me down, because all I can then think about is - what did i do wrong?

Not sure how those things work, but is it possible that she had other guys she was looking into and perhaps she clicked with one of 'em? Maybe instead of doing the awkward thing of telling you/the other guys she was no longer looking, she just cut ties to make it easier on herself. It's a possibility.

 

[cowboyup]

Just feel like a bit of a rant since i'm feeling quite down at the moment. Feel free to ignore it.

So I'm 25 now, living at home with my parents still. Never had a girlfriend (never even kissed a girl...hell never even held hands with a girl or spent any time alone with one), don't have any real friends any more. Every day is spent the same way - go to work, come home, sit in my room either on the internet or reading or something, go to sleep, repeat. It's incredibly dull and lonely. I live with my brother and his family. I'm a *cough* few years older than you. I currently do not have b/f and I never officially had one.

I keep kidding myself that one day it'll turn around, i'll meet someone nice, maybe have a family, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that i'm going to die alone. I'm not exactly the best looking person (i still have issues with my skin - spots, redness, etc... that looks horrible), and of course no self-confidence to go anywhere and try to meet people. I get eczema breakouts when I get highly anxious and yes, the self-confidence hits a low esp. when it flares up.


It's a bit of a cycle really. I know there are things I could do to probably make friends, for instance volunteer work, but then I'm too scared to go and actually do it so I just feel worse again. And it;'s not like I never try anything, i';ve been at my job for over a year, I've joined a badminton club, I try to talk to people, but it's just impossible for me to make friends any more. I've made acquaintances, sure, but no-one I would ever hang out with outside of work for example. Whilst I see all my old school friends on facebook in long-term relationships, going abroad on trips, doing all sorts of interesting things. very true. I've experienced similar. That's why I don't use facebook anymore, gets me down too much.

It's just all very depressing. I'm sure there are other people out there who may be in a similar boat, but I just felt like getting some of it off my chest.

I wish I had some 'wise' advice but I'm afraid I am right there with ya! All I can say is take one baby step at a time, and getting things off your chest helps to an extent.

 

[GarryU]

You seem to have become stagnant.

I found it curious that you said you dont have any friends anymore, it's basically the answer to your own rant if you ask yourself the correct questions.

What are you doing for that to stop or change it?

Friends come and go, the thing is that keeping a constant flow of people into your life makes you a more socially confident person.

Depression will come when you live a life without hopes, it happened to me back when my SA was at its worst.

The only option I was left with was takign action, it's really hard to get the courage to just go and do it, but its the only way out. Take all your frustration and channel it into getting your social life back together.

 

[bread_crumbs]

Just feel like a bit of a rant since i'm feeling quite down at the moment. Feel free to ignore it.

So I'm 25 now, living at home with my parents still. Never had a girlfriend (never even kissed a girl...hell never even held hands with a girl or spent any time alone with one), don't have any real friends any more. Every day is spent the same way - go to work, come home, sit in my room either on the internet or reading or something, go to sleep, repeat. It's incredibly dull and lonely.

I keep kidding myself that one day it'll turn around, i'll meet someone nice, maybe have a family, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that i'm going to die alone. I'm not exactly the best looking person (i still have issues with my skin - spots, redness, etc... that looks horrible), and of course no self-confidence to go anywhere and try to meet people.

Usually what happens is every few months I feel a renewed sense that maybe I can find someone, so I go back to the dating sites, pay a ridiculous amount for theirt subscription. I'll have a few conversations with people, it'll seem like it's going okay and then they just stop responding all of a sudden. Happened the other day. Was having a nice conversation with a girl, we were getting along fine (she messaged me in the first place, not the other way round), then bam, she closed the match to prevent any further communication. Gets me down, because all I can then think about is - what did i do wrong?

It's a bit of a cycle really. I know there are things I could do to probably make friends, for instance volunteer work, but then I'm too scared to go and actually do it so I just feel worse again. And it;'s not like I never try anything, i';ve been at my job for over a year, I've joined a badminton club, I try to talk to people, but it's just impossible for me to make friends any more. I've made acquaintances, sure, but no-one I would ever hang out with outside of work for example. Whilst I see all my old school friends on facebook in long-term relationships, going abroad on trips, doing all sorts of interesting things.

It's just all very depressing. I'm sure there are other people out there who may be in a similar boat, but I just felt like getting some of it off my chest.

I also was 25 years old, never touched a girl, lived with parents, never had a real job (at least you have one). Yet that same year I met someone I clicked with online. She liked the same band as I did and things just took off. I never dated anyone yet everything seemed to work as if I did and was an expert at it.

I say, hit the gym, get healthy from the inside out and let nature run it's course.

 

[Lea]

I saw your picture when you once posted it and thought you were quite goodlooking, but you still say you´re not..

 

[selon]

Just feel like a bit of a rant since i'm feeling quite down at the moment. Feel free to ignore it.

So I'm 25 now, living at home with my parents still. Never had a girlfriend (never even kissed a girl...hell never even held hands with a girl or spent any time alone with one), don't have any real friends any more. Every day is spent the same way - go to work, come home, sit in my room either on the internet or reading or something, go to sleep, repeat. It's incredibly dull and lonely.

I keep kidding myself that one day it'll turn around, i'll meet someone nice, maybe have a family, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that i'm going to die alone. I'm not exactly the best looking person (i still have issues with my skin - spots, redness, etc... that looks horrible), and of course no self-confidence to go anywhere and try to meet people.

Usually what happens is every few months I feel a renewed sense that maybe I can find someone, so I go back to the dating sites, pay a ridiculous amount for theirt subscription. I'll have a few conversations with people, it'll seem like it's going okay and then they just stop responding all of a sudden. Happened the other day. Was having a nice conversation with a girl, we were getting along fine (she messaged me in the first place, not the other way round), then bam, she closed the match to prevent any further communication. Gets me down, because all I can then think about is - what did i do wrong?

It's a bit of a cycle really. I know there are things I could do to probably make friends, for instance volunteer work, but then I'm too scared to go and actually do it so I just feel worse again. And it;'s not like I never try anything, i';ve been at my job for over a year, I've joined a badminton club, I try to talk to people, but it's just impossible for me to make friends any more. I've made acquaintances, sure, but no-one I would ever hang out with outside of work for example. Whilst I see all my old school friends on facebook in long-term relationships, going abroad on trips, doing all sorts of interesting things.

It's just all very depressing. I'm sure there are other people out there who may be in a similar boat, but I just felt like getting some of it off my chest.

I know how you feel.. it's awful to be stuck in your life and just see time pass by. I was in a similar position last year, although I did go out every once in a while. But living at home with my parents made me kind of passive, they dont go out that much and when you see that everyday, you just copy that behavior. Anyway, what did help me was move out (abroad actually, for uni). Honest to god, this was the best thing that ever happened to me. I still don't have a boyfriend and I still have issues ( 0_o ) BUT I feel a sense of freedom now like never before, and step by step I go out more and act my age.

If I may ask, do your parents contribute to your problems? Or do they push you to go out more? And those acquaitances that you got, why wouldn't you hang out with them? (you don't know how to get them to meet up with you or they aren't your type of people?)