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[mixedupgirl]

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[freestylemonster]

well I'm lucky enough to have a couple life-long friends but I'm facing the same problem as you...I can't make new friends

 

[market.garden]

I haven't made any new friends in years. I have a small group of people I hang out with from time to time, but I've known them in some capacity for years.

I seem to lose friends easily, so the numbers are dwindling and soon to get smaller (cant deal with one of them!) - None of them know what I'm like at all, although I mentioned to one of them once that I don't like being around people, but never went any further than that. I think if I told my friends, all but one of them would just take the piss and probably get shot of me.

 

[Noca]

I make friends from the internet basically then meet them in real life. For some reason none of my friends are mature enough to be together with one another so I am forced to quarantine them all from each other and only hang out with one at a time.

 

[aj]

I don't think you absolutely need friends to make friends, but having some to start with must make it a massive amount easier. I don't know if I'm right, I don't have any.

I know what you mean with never getting closer to people at work and I think this

I had just one friend that I could talk to and that wouldnt judge me I would be so grateful

every day.

 

[freestylemonster]

Thanks for replying. Do your life-long friends know you have sp? And if so what do they think about it? Are they supportive?

Yeah they both know, and one of them has it too. The other one understands that I don't have many friends and since he has a lot more he invites me to hang out with him and them

 

[market.garden]

Wouldn't you say then that they weren't true friends? At least you would have one person that would stand by you.

I suppose I don't consider them to be true friends, but thats mainly down to my paranoia. I'm convinced they don't like me, but perhaps they do. I don't know, and I'd never truly believe them even if they said they did. I'm shooting myself in the foot.

I totally agree...there's not enough attention paid to things like SA, depression etc. Even when high profile people speak out about this sort of thing, like Stephen Fry, there's still such a stigma attached to it.

 

[melsmood]

i guess it helps if you have friends, you have better idea of what it means to be a good friend to someone. It's a hard subject.

 

[206Raider]

I told my friend I got SA and he seemed to understand it was actually better becuase he was like "i feel the same a lot man" so we have more to talk about. I always thinking people will get fed up with my problems and leave me alone

 

[DaaaBulls]

I think that if they care about how many friends you have then they are not worth being a friend imo. I always hated those friends growing up who would count how many friends I had and I felt like I always had to compete with them to make friends.

I would say I have 2 friends who I have been friends with since Highschool, and a couple others I met in college. They are guys I can call up any time mostly, if they are in town, and hang out. I recently just dropped a friend that I had been friends with for a very long time, since like middle school. We used to be best friends but things changed a lot and it seemed like we couldn't let go for some reason and I just decided to finally end it.

But yeah I know what you are saying about making new friends while not having many or any friends to begin with. It is actually like that now in my life because I have actually made a couple of friends at my work, one guy I work with and another who works out there and it seems we have a lot in common. He wanted to start doing some activities there together but I started thinking "We will hang out a few times, he will realize I really don't have many friends, and then he won't want to be around me". So I have been sort of reluctant to get the friendship more into motion. Sometimes it is hard but if you just admit it to them that you are sort of a loner and that is just the way you are, it sort of empowers you and they can see you really mean it and they will respect you for it.

Friends have been a tough thing throughout my life. It seems like I have never really had a hard time making friends, but keeping them is another story. I always had things in common with other kids growing up like playing sports and video games and interested in girls and all that so I sort of fit in but for some reason most of my friendships didn't go very far. Not to mention I lost one of my best friends in highschool after a fight we had and our ego's were too high to just be friends again. I had been friends with him since elementary school so it kind of sucked, and along with losing him I lost two other friends with him who were kind of my "crew" guys and this really hurt. I also made this really good friend freshman year in college, I mean we did everything together. We were like really really close buds, even joking about how we would be each others best man in our weddings and then for some reason things changed and we started hanging out less and I don't even talk to him at all now a couple of years later. That one really hurt a lot since I put so much time and effort into the friendship and he just sort of ended it. The friendship started out great but he started realizing I didn't have any friends and some comments hurt my self esteem and I started thinking he respected me less and less since I didn't have many friends. He had a ton of friends and was really well liked but yet he seemed to want to be around me, until I sort of did some things to his other friends and I think he had to choose between those guys he knew for a long time or me, he chose them.

Friends are tough, you want them because they are fun to be around but putting time and effort into them and not knowing what the outcome may be is the biggest struggle for me. I just don't want to be hurt by friends anymore, I will leave that to girls.

 

[toothpastekisses]

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