1000 rejections Journal

[mistamista]

any updates

Whats going on, I was just wondering if there were any updates from the daily attempt for 1000. I am interested and want to try something like it out. When you say rejected you mean how so that the girl slaps you, she says leave, you ask her on a date and she says no, how are you rejected. I love when people do footwork like this. I too am tying to do something either like this or similar good luck to you all.

 

[zofia-life-coach]

For the beginners a great exercise is just saying “Hello” to strangers passing you by on the street. This way you can face the fear and there is hardly any possibility for being rejected.

 

[sdgOptimistman]

Hello, optimistman here just to say all of you fucking cockdick pussy losers are fucking worthless ass HELL!!!!! If you really feel so fucking lonely get off of your fucking asses and ask a girl out! Are you all really that fucking weak and pathetic that you feel so sorry for yourselfs, that you sit on a website called social phobia world and complain like little bitches, GROW THE FUCK UP!!! Just trying to give some positive inspiration. :twisted:

 

[stubrn]

Dude

Hello, optimistman here just to say all of you fucking cockdick pussy losers are fucking worthless ass HELL!!!!! If you really feel so fucking lonely get off of your fucking asses and ask a girl out! Are you all really that fucking weak and pathetic that you feel so sorry for yourselfs, that you sit on a website called social phobia world and complain like little bitches, GROW THE FUCK UP!!! Just trying to give some positive inspiration. :twisted:

I live alone, i don't feel lonely but i do feel like fucking worthless and lost. i'll try to change using the only method i know and would works for me if i doing it right. thanks for the suggestion :roll:

 

[Brad89]

This is such a brilliant idea, it was attempted by a famous psychologist that I can't remember the name of and he reported excellent results via this experiment.

For people who believe that this will hurt them, just consider the psychology behind it...what you're doing isn't trying to start an amazing conversation, it's simply your ability to START one that counts...however uninteresting it is. The problem that many shy people perhaps tend to have, and that I use to have is believing that whatever we say will be judged negatively, that isn't the case.

The goal of such an experiment is to give you the ability to open up as many people and desensitize yourself to the anxiety. After it becomes easy (because it WILL become easier) all you'll have to do is make another goal, talk to 50 people and try to keep the conversation for 3 minutes or more...where you could now focus on WHAT you say rather than being afraid to simply say it.

 

[Kamen]

For the beginners a great exercise is just saying “Hello” to strangers passing you by on the street. This way you can face the fear and there is hardly any possibility for being rejected.

The idea looks better than it really is. It will not work in all cases and probably depends on the country. I mean, if you say "Hello" to a stranger on the street here, they will probably think you are crazy or joking with them, or will probably ask you "Do I know you?". Here people don't say "Hello" unless they are acquaintances.

 

[Smokeringz]

another good exercise to practice before confortation is to think about whats the worst possible thing that could happen and the best thing. usualy its nothing and itll calm you down a bit

 

[Butterflyspit]

Wouldn't being rejected 1000 times be a bit traumatic for anyone? Wouldn't that just enforce the anxiety? What am I missing?

I hope you can't get yourself rejected 1000 times no matter how hard you try. I'm betting you get 're accepted WAY before you reach your goal.

 

[dtrotter]

Actually, what shield did, is pretty similar to what the, PUA is doing. The pick up artist. In general, most people are afraid to approach a girl in a bar. So, the starters will have a "crash and burn" session, where they approach random girls and get shut down, until they get desensitized by failures.

Then, that's when they start applying the social skills. If you really want to know more about it. GO to google and search up for, Pick up artist or mystery method, if you are interested in picking up girls/improving your social skills.

 

[randomguy19]

I say that's a good idea.. That is, if your willing to tolerate "rejection". It's like boxing, every punch they endure - it makes it last painful for the next time. They adapt to it. You'll eventually become not affected. I'm wanting to do this as well

 

[Shattered.Life]

Can't do this, I'm a bit too weak for rejection ... I'm serious, whenever I get rejected by someone my mind starts swirling with these negative thoughts where I constantly ask myself what I have done wrong, even if people have no intent of blowing me off I fall apart completely. So no siree, I wouldn't bear getting rejected. I might even start to lose it in the first time as well.

 

[PunkRotten]

seems like a good idea, if you've got a shitload of time on your hands / care a whole lot about what other (random at that) people think.

i always talk to new people every day, start random conversations with random people. but recording the outcome? not for me, bro. i'm trying to think less about my worries, not obsess over them.

Exactly, we shouldnt obsess over whats on others minds. But what this does is gets you used to talking to people. I have/had an idea like this myself, but this was just to force myself to talk to my neighbors, or anyone I came in contact with. Something like a simple "hi", or a wave is good enough.

I'm still going with this. A very important note to people practicing exposure. YOU MUST PRACTICE EVERY DAY if you want to move forwards at a good pace. Practicing only 2-3 times per week helps a little but it doesn't really cut it. You need to do 6 good sessions per week and every day you need to stay in the situation long enough that your fear subsides. We are talking 2 hours per day minimum.

What you are basically doing is getting used to talking to people. You are right, you have to practice and get comfortable with talking with people. Even your neighbors or anyone you come in contact with. I do a little of this myself, but its not to quench the fear of rejection, im not so concerned whats on others minds. But either way, forcing yourself to speak to someone is a good idea. Worse thing anyone can do is isolate themselves.

 

[becc]

Its a great theory, I really like it. You can trick your brain. Pretend you enjoy being rejected, pretend you like being looked at strangely. Mess with your perfectionist streak. Get a buzz off your anxiety, try to provoke it. When you aren't fearing your anxiety, when you use your anxiety to turn you on... thats when it starts to turn around for you. What is the worst that can happen?

Actually.. strangely, the worst thing I am scared of happening is people NOT rejecting me - to be specific I am afraid of guys misinterpreting my intentions for talking to them, and eligible men my age group are the people I am most scared of. I fear being hit on. What do I do if they start flirting with me? Does it defeat the purpose if I run away from them as soon as things start going that way? Or should I just act weirder and weirder until they are the ones to freak out and run?

 

[Quiet Angel]

This thread has given me a new perspective.

 

[Rxqueen]

Its a great theory, I really like it. You can trick your brain. Pretend you enjoy being rejected, pretend you like being looked at strangely. Mess with your perfectionist streak. Get a buzz off your anxiety, try to provoke it. When you aren't fearing your anxiety, when you use your anxiety to turn you on... thats when it starts to turn around for you. What is the worst that can happen?

Actually.. strangely, the worst thing I am scared of happening is people NOT rejecting me - to be specific I am afraid of guys misinterpreting my intentions for talking to them, and eligible men my age group are the people I am most scared of. I fear being hit on. What do I do if they start flirting with me? Does it defeat the purpose if I run away from them as soon as things start going that way? Or should I just act weirder and weirder until they are the ones to freak out and run?

This is kind of an old topic but I feel the exact same way. I'm afraid of what to do if a guy or anyone for that matter comes up to me. What should I do? What would happen if he actually likes me? It's like i might actually be having a decent day but as soon as someone comes up to me and tries to talk to me i completely freeze up and don't know what to do. I just say strange things and try to ignore them so they don't try to talk to me anymore. I have a huge aversion to ppl and its somehow worse if someone comes up to me and i get rejected then if i go up to someone and get rejected.

 

[yesnomaybe]

this is such a great idea. it's a study on social human interactions. i suggest that you NOT try to make it awkward (even though it will be). just walk up to the person, say hello, introduce yourself, and then start talking about stuff.

also, try different approaches with different groups of people. you may uncover some very insightful things.

i also suggest that you have a friend nearby, if possible, who's inconspicuously observing the event. The experience will make for great conversation afterward.

 

[backflipper144]

I used to go to the club and try to talk to every attractive girl there. It's called "shotgunning". A game of numbers, and it worked, a little.

If you will take a break after every interaction to analyze the essence of what just happened and then re-apply what you learn to each future interaction, you will probably grow.

It takes guts.

And rename your journal something besides 1000 rejections journal, unless of course you're actively planning to fail, in which case, you will succeed for sure.

 

[Darker Than Black]

it is not the rejection that scares me, it's what happens during the date that scares me

 

[itay]

it is not the rejection that scares me, it's the fact that i don't even get there, i mean the approacing scares me not the thought that she will reject me. The simple thought that i just don't approach girls scares me.

 

[paydo]

it's really great idea but you have to have guts to do it,when i think about it i might try,but i start thinking it will end bad,i have a neighbor to who i don't even say hello because it seams to me that he won't say it back,and i would feel like a idiot