Taken for granted?

Klonoa

Well-known member
I'm posting this in OCD section becuse I feel is a compulsive obsession I got me with demanding answers/explanations that make me feel INCREDIBLY anxious and angry. Right now my blood is boiling a lot, so I'll try to articulate my post as calm as I can.

Since I was a child, I had no say in most stuff in my family, to this day it seems that my opinion or what I have to say isn't important, that I am... taken for granted, I believe is the term.

For example, if mom or sis were to say we're going to X place, I'd ask as a kid "why?/what for?/for how long?" out of sheer curiosity. They always replied "Do you have anything important to do right now or something?" in a rather annoyed tone. It has prevailed to this day.

But then it got worse when in school, teachers and classmates alike, began treating me with the same scorn, albeit in a passive matter, if I had said something, it'd get ignored silently. It'd make my eye twitch as my rage meter raised.

And then, the OTHER problem linked to this issue and where my obsession kicks in:

Has it ever happened to you guys that other people (usually friends) do anything (from doing a cheaty strategy in videogames, to certain characters in roleplay) and you and anybody called them out for it, it being silly stuff for sh**s and giggles, but when one tries to do it, wanting to join the fun, YOU get called out for it?

That's when my patience vein breaks right now and boiling blood fills my eyes and I swear I want to f***ing punch a boxing sandbag until it breaks. I demand answers, and they just dodge the question or outright refuse to answer. And THEN, I get p***ed.

WHAT kind of right do other people enjoy that when we play the same game, when I do it it's wrong!?

WHAT is the DAMN reason nobody will ever acknowledge I exist and I have an opinion!?

I get angrier and angrier because my OCD goes from being "slight non-important" to completely obsessed for having a damn answer, to know WHAT am I doing wrong, AM I THE BLACK PLAGUE OR SOMETHING!?

And the worst part is, this angriness and anxiousness, which feels like hands crushing my lungs as I begin to lightly ventilate with my mouth, feeling a bit choked, won't let me be for a week, maybe 2.

Maybe a month.

Atomic F-Bomb.

This has been a rage-written post by Klonoa. Goodnight.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
Has it ever happened to you guys that other people (usually friends) do anything (from doing a cheaty strategy in videogames, to certain characters in roleplay) and you and anybody called them out for it, it being silly stuff for sh**s and giggles, but when one tries to do it, wanting to join the fun, YOU get called out for it?

Yes, in middle school I got in trouble for running in the hallway even though other kids ahead of me were running too. The teacher pretty much yelled at me, like his face was really close to mine and he was staring me down while speaking angrily to me. I asked him why the other kids who were running didn't get in trouble, and he said he just didn't see them. I almost cried in class, and then someone told me the teacher's gay... which could explain why the male kids who were running didn't get in trouble? Anyway, my friend, who is female, also got in trouble with him even though she didn't do anything - he tried to force her do pushups. It just appears to me that he tends to pick on female students.

The other time was when I was at a bowling alley with my so-called "friends" and we formed a team, competing against other teams. I sucked at bowling and earned my team little or no points, so my "friends" would scold me, get angry at me, and at one time, ostracized me, try to get me kicked out of the team. They threw all sorts of f-bombs and b bombs at me. I went to the bathroom and cried. Of course back then, I was dense and still thought they were my friends. Next time at the bowling alley, I joined the same group of "friends" as a team. I did better this time, but I could tell my "friends" still didn't like my performance. This time was different though. A pretty girl joined our team as a new member. And you know what, she sucked so bad at bowling, even worse than me. But guess what? My "friends" didn't complain squat about her. No insults, no f-bombs, no b-bombs, nothing. They just smiled and treated her so nicely. So I asked them, "She sucked even worse than me. Why not kick her out?" And they're like, "yeah, but just let her be." Something like that.

I hate double standards, and treated like sh*t because I'm not as good looking at other people.
 
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Kiwong

Well-known member
I took my parents for granted
I took my happy childhood for granted
I took running for granted
I took my health for granted
 

Klonoa

Well-known member
I took my parents for granted
With mom since childhood telling me to grow up in a steady job, and having paranoid attacks of what would happend if my father died, no, sorry.

I took my happy childhood for granted
haha no

I took running for granted
I took my health for granted
The former I do, the later sometimes I do, othertimes I get paranoid.

Still, I know most people Do take many things for granted, and don't appreciate it, so I see the point of your post... I don't know if nowadays I'm taking stuff for granted, I'm more under panic of getting a job and freelance doesn't pay steady nor well.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
In my life I have taken more things for granted, than I have been taken for granted.

Well my Dad used to take advantage of the fact I had a car. He wanted me to drive him everywhere. If he were still alive I would have all the time in the world to drive him anywhere he wished.
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Has it ever happened to you guys that other people (usually friends) do anything (from doing a cheaty strategy in videogames, to certain characters in roleplay) and you and anybody called them out for it, it being silly stuff for sh**s and giggles, but when one tries to do it, wanting to join the fun, YOU get called out for it?

That's when my patience vein breaks right now and boiling blood fills my eyes and I swear I want to f***ing punch a boxing sandbag until it breaks. I demand answers, and they just dodge the question or outright refuse to answer. And THEN, I get p***ed.

WHAT kind of right do other people enjoy that when we play the same game, when I do it it's wrong!?
Ah, bugger me, there's a word for this, but I can't remember what it is. Where some people will call you out for certain behaviour, but when they do it it's "different," or otherwise justified. If I can find the word I'll tell you.

The point is that some people can't realise their own faults. I have stories about one person in particular I used to know, but I won't bore you with my stories, because this is your thread and I can see what you're trying to say.

If you're comfortable, call them out on their behaviour. If they're getting upset with you for doing exactly what they did, are they friends of yours? If your opinions and thoughts and ideas are not getting through, are they friends of yours? Doesn't sound like it.
 
This is likely related to a profile people get from you by the verbal/non-verbal communication you send out, or have sent out in the past. They may simply know you as a person with little to no useful input - as untrue as this may be.

I have a similar problem with emotion - others can literal throw phones against the wall and it could be considered normal. But since I'm never (outwardly) angry or sad, as soon as I show the faintest sign of anger, or emotion in general, people tend to react to it as though the presence of emotion in me is an anomaly. While in reality the opposite is true. I have very strong feelings, all the time, that I put a lot of effort into controlling. But they don't know that because their profile of me is based on what they see, and not on who I actually am as a person.

In a similar fashion they may very well have misjudged you the same. An inaccurate profile based on external signals. They don't expect you to have a strong opinion or input and simply default to ignoring you. In a sentence; they don't respect your input, while they really ought to.

If you have it in you, you should call them out on it when it occurs again. Sometimes people need to be reminded that they treat you unfairly. Which is definitely the case here judging by your description. It's a little easy to say so, but it would do you go good to be direct and assertive the next time they disrespect your input/actions.
 
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Klonoa

Well-known member
If you're comfortable, call them out on their behaviour. If they're getting upset with you for doing exactly what they did, are they friends of yours? If your opinions and thoughts and ideas are not getting through, are they friends of yours? Doesn't sound like it.

It's complex, though, I feel that, as of late, maybe it's not only me doing it and more of the way I do it, upon thinking. I mean, my post STILL applies for the first 20 years of my life, but still, recently.. I mean, I know they're turly my friends and trust me with stuff they otherwise wouldn't... When I call my friends out on that behavor, until things start to cool off, it gets solved. Still... Ack, I'm never good with words. But it ESPECIALLY bugs me with people who aren't friends, but people I have/had to co-work with.

This is likely related to a profile people get from you by the verbal/non-verbal communication you send out, or have sent out in the past. They may simply know you as a person with little to no useful input - as untrue as this may be.

I have a similar problem with emotion - others can literal throw phones against the wall and it could be considered normal. But since I'm never (outwardly) angry or sad, as soon as I show the faintest sign of anger, or emotion in general, people tend to react to it as though the presence of emotion in me is an anomaly. While in reality the opposite is true. I have very strong feelings, all the time, that I put a lot of effort into controlling. But they don't know that because their profile of me is based on what they see, and not on who I actually am as a person.

In a similar fashion they may very well have misjudged you the same. An inaccurate profile based on external signals. They don't expect you to have a strong opinion or input and simply default to ignoring you. In a sentence; they don't respect your input, while they really ought to.

If you have it in you, you should call them out on it when it occurs again. Sometimes people need to be reminded that they treat you unfairly. Which is definitely the case here judging by your description. It's a little easy to say so, but it would do you go good to be direct and assertive the next time they disrespect your input/actions.

I think I agree with you, especially happened with classmates because while everyone was extremely outspoken and that kinda stuff, I've been always super serious and silent, reserving my words for when I considered an accurate time. But I believe this also gave people the impression I'm aloof and not caring...
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
This is likely related to a profile people get from you by the verbal/non-verbal communication you send out, or have sent out in the past. They may simply know you as a person with little to no useful input - as untrue as this may be.

I have a similar problem with emotion - others can literal throw phones against the wall and it could be considered normal. But since I'm never (outwardly) angry or sad, as soon as I show the faintest sign of anger, or emotion in general, people tend to react to it as though the presence of emotion in me is an anomaly. While in reality the opposite is true. I have very strong feelings, all the time, that I put a lot of effort into controlling. But they don't know that because their profile of me is based on what they see, and not on who I actually am as a person.

In a similar fashion they may very well have misjudged you the same. An inaccurate profile based on external signals. They don't expect you to have a strong opinion or input and simply default to ignoring you. In a sentence; they don't respect your input, while they really ought to.

If you have it in you, you should call them out on it when it occurs again. Sometimes people need to be reminded that they treat you unfairly. Which is definitely the case here judging by your description. It's a little easy to say so, but it would do you go good to be direct and assertive the next time they disrespect your input/actions.
Great post. :perfect:
 
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