Reading books on self-esteem

wise_wind

Well-known member
Hi guys,

do you think reading self-help books on boosting self-esteem and confidence will help to overcome our social anxiety?
 

morrowrd

Active member
Reading books will add to your pool of information, give you resources (provided the book and info is a good fit for you) I recommend reading books on communication, learn how to communicate, how to confront if needed, learn how to listen and interpret. I highly recommend "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense" by Suzette Hayden Elgin
 
Hello wise_wind,

The short answer is : Yes.

Why ? because it helps you think about it in a more rational way by telling you the possible causes of your lack of confidence, in addition to giving you a step by step solution to tackle the problem.

I remember reading a bunch of self-therapy stuttering books from Malcolm Fraser, it helped me improve my speech.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
Depends on how open you are to what those books are teaching. If you actually apply the principles in them, they can be very useful.
 

grapevine

Well-known member
My whole life has been about reading self development books. When ever I am in a situation that makes me uncomfortable I have the need to have to find some books to read about all sorts of things that I feel I may want to know. Even ebooks - they are quite good to get to the point and you can read them when your at work and stuff.

For instance I had been away from people for some time and I was having issues where I was getting a bit annoyed that I perhaps wasnt being listened to like I wanted to be kinda. So I went and got some books on communicating better and bought some ebooks on how to be charasmatic and things like that lol. Even watched lots of youtube videos too.

And what I learnt was really to be a good listener to people - like actively listening and that really helped people become quite happy to be around me. I read self esteem books- I have work books I go through every now and then. I think its a matter of what suits you and appeals to you and your life.

I used to be a reader and not actually act on the things that I would read. But now I am active on most things I read. And my life just keeps getting better because of it. I can read back in my journals of really bad times but know that because of my books I have read - that I have re-wired myself a little bit and learnt lessons I wont forget.

Its not easy - but it can become quite addicting. For me, I only like to read and absorb when things come up for me though- that way Im more intuned into it.
 

grapevine

Well-known member
That sounds like long time wow. How much of your SA did it reduce?


Its a continuing thing. But it really has helped- especially as Ive gotten older. Its like I need my space to lay in and read these books to learn to feel better about myself and my issues and be proactive- having certain books that you will take off the shelf for certain issues, books you will always go back to in order to read those paragraphs that can spring you out of your deadly thinking you know?

Its not for everyone- its just a matter of what works for you. It may be something completely different. For me, I like to get my hot water bottle and lay in bed and journal and read my self help books. Doing those things - indulging in those things when life feels too hard- really helps.
 

Louco

Well-known member
Hi guys,

do you think reading self-help books on boosting self-esteem and confidence will help to overcome our social anxiety?

Never helped me. I'm an atheist and I would honestly recommend prayer and religious faith before trying that. Too much useless garbage and scammers.
 

grapevine

Well-known member
Never helped me. I'm an atheist and I would honestly recommend prayer and religious faith before trying that. Too much useless garbage and scammers.

Sometimes it might be your own positive thoughts that can help. I used to write a whole paragraph of positive stuff of myself and where I was going (a bit like affirmations, but more personal and complex) and stick that somewhere I could see it all the time and read it everyday- it helped in my darkest agoraphobic days to actually go out : )

Then there is that one quote that can inspire you..
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
Never helped me. I'm an atheist and I would honestly recommend prayer and religious faith before trying that. Too much useless garbage and scammers.

Well yeah, if you go and read those books from a starting point of cynicism, they're not gonna get past that thick layer. I was 'against' self-help books at first because I figured that either I wouldn't need them, or they'd just tell me all the things I already knew. But even the books that told me a lot of things I already knew, they did it in a way that made it easier to process and organize that information; and the ones that gave me new insights were a blessing in disguise.
 

Louco

Well-known member
Well yeah, if you go and read those books from a starting point of cynicism, they're not gonna get past that thick layer.

Who said I did that? The first one I read I was like 11, and I was just a confused, sad and naive boy who actually gave this a try. I got it from my mom and it was one of the few books I read back then that was not for school.

No, unfortunately I was not born this cynical *******, however even now when I read a book about something I'm very critical of, I try my best to be fair, because I would just feel like wasting my time otherwise. So you see, you are mistaken anyway.
 

DanielLewis

Well-known member
If you apply the material, then I'd say yes. That's what those books are about anyway. They give you advice and, if you take that advice and use it in your life, then it should help.

But, I think it's important to know that merely reading a book doesn't do much for you. When we're talking about a deep-rooted problem like social anxiety, reading books isn't going to change you. The book can guide you on the right path, but that's all it does. It shows you the path and then it's your choice to take it or not.
 

nicole1

Well-known member
I think so. I'm also looking into those audio affirmation tracks through Google play. I'm currently reading a book that provides tips on dealing with anxiety along with information on how the anxious brain works. It points out the areas and chemicals involved in the anxiety responses. I also got a book called the Anxiety Tool Kit or something like that.
 
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