ONE mistake completely ruins my day..

SilentAndShy · Feb 15, 2014

So after being out of work for a year, I've got myself an admin job that I wanted because it was something I felt I could do.

Two weeks in, it's going OK but I feel like I'm making mistakes and ONE mistake (whether it happens in the morning/afternoon) completely messes up my day!

Once, I took a call for my manager and went through to her twice and she was a tad busy but was abit short with me and later reflected, in a relaxed way, that I should be more assertive. Well, on the way home, that mistake stayed with me and got me down.

Second time, I thought I was being helpful by checking advertising prices and she came to my desk and kinda said to focus on my tasks rather than this. Again, down for the day.

Yesterday, another person gave me a task to do, tallying up a questionnaire and I over-did it by putting down the multiple answers and confusing her. She told me what she wanted (due to my concentration issues, kinda went over me), sent it back to her and she picked up on it, she explained again and I went away to leave it till Monday. I had a good day yesterday up until that moment.

The first two mistakes are probably ones that were down to being new in the job but the third one, I felt made me look bad. The colleague was nice and polite but just the feeling of leaving a lingering impression haunts me...

I struggle to respond after a mistake and it preys on my mind.

Any advice on how to forget it, rationalise it and move on?

I'm scared I will do what i always do, mess up the job and not be kept on after probation.

jaim38 · Feb 15, 2014

You can't give up yet. You just got a job and doing good so far! It's just a couple of mistakes here and there, but think of them as opportunities to learn and improve. Every time you make a mistake, ask yourself what went wrong and take steps to ensure you don't make the same mistakes over again. No one's perfect. I screwed up a lot in my first job too so you're not alone. I'm sure 6 months from now, you'll be 10X better at your job!

theoutsider · Feb 15, 2014

I can totally relate as I often feel the same way after making a mistake. One thing that helps is to realize that you tend to be oversensitive. In reading your examples, I was thinking to myself how what you described isn't all that bad and shouldn't ruin your entire day.

It helps me that deep down, I realize it's just me being oversensitive. So, it might help you to look at it from a different point of view. Ask yourself if someone were describing themselves making the same mistake as you did would you think it was so disastrous. I hope what I'm saying makes sense. Sometimes picturing the same thing happening to someone else makes you see how small the mistake really is. For example, I noticed my co-workers often make the same type of mistakes as I do and how they just shrug it off while I beat myself up over mine and imagine that my bosses probably think I'm unbelievably stupid. But after really thinking about it, I realize what I'm thinking about the impressions mistakes make on people probably isn't true.

The only other bit of advice I can offer, especially with you being new, is to be super nice to everyone. Thank them for pointing out your mistakes because it will help you do better with your job in the future. You can say something like, "I'm sorry about that, Janet but thanks for letting me know how I should format that from now on."

My concentration issues are so extreme that I began bringing a little tape recorder with me when I was training. That might seem kind of extreme but it beat having to go back and get clarification on something that was already explained in detail not long ago. Also, emails help. For me it's easier to ask a question via email because I will get the answer in writing which I can print out and save for later if I need it.

Lastly, and this might sound a little silly, but it also pays to do little things like bring in a bag of candy or a box of donuts for everybody to share. Why? Because it's harder to decide not to keep somebody on after their probationary period who has been so nice and giving. Sometimes it's easier to forgive little mistakes if they really like you on a personal level. Be nice but just don't be fake about it or don't brown-nose. Nobody respects that.

Hope at least some of this helps you.

SilentAndShy · Feb 16, 2014

theoutsider said:
I can totally relate as I often feel the same way after making a mistake. One thing that helps is to realize that you tend to be oversensitive. In reading your examples, I was thinking to myself how what you described isn't all that bad and shouldn't ruin your entire day.

It helps me that deep down, I realize it's just me being oversensitive. So, it might help you to look at it from a different point of view. Ask yourself if someone were describing themselves making the same mistake as you did would you think it was so disastrous. I hope what I'm saying makes sense. Sometimes picturing the same thing happening to someone else makes you see how small the mistake really is. For example, I noticed my co-workers often make the same type of mistakes as I do and how they just shrug it off while I beat myself up over mine and imagine that my bosses probably think I'm unbelievably stupid. But after really thinking about it, I realize what I'm thinking about the impressions mistakes make on people probably isn't true.

The only other bit of advice I can offer, especially with you being new, is to be super nice to everyone. Thank them for pointing out your mistakes because it will help you do better with your job in the future. You can say something like, "I'm sorry about that, Janet but thanks for letting me know how I should format that from now on."

My concentration issues are so extreme that I began bringing a little tape recorder with me when I was training. That might seem kind of extreme but it beat having to go back and get clarification on something that was already explained in detail not long ago. Also, emails help. For me it's easier to ask a question via email because I will get the answer in writing which I can print out and save for later if I need it.

Lastly, and this might sound a little silly, but it also pays to do little things like bring in a bag of candy or a box of donuts for everybody to share. Why? Because it's harder to decide not to keep somebody on after their probationary period who has been so nice and giving. Sometimes it's easier to forgive little mistakes if they really like you on a personal level. Be nice but just don't be fake about it or don't brown-nose. Nobody respects that.

Hope at least some of this helps you.

Thank you, your post really has helped.

For the first two mistakes I mentioned, I did - later - what you advised from a different perspective and realised that from now on, I need to improve by making sure I don't unnecessarily harass my line manager with every call. I tried to see it from her POV and I'm going to try and to improve. One thing I'm good at is trying to implement criticism so hopefully that will help me here.

It's a fairly small team so I always, when I'm making a drink for myself, ask my two colleagues if they want one. I've made them drinks aswell. Whenever they've appreciated anything I've done, its given me a big confidence boost and a PM I received help me realise that I am sensitive, highly and it's maybe me wanting to do well that mistakes creep in.

Thank you.

lilmutegirl · Feb 16, 2014

TheOutsider's advice is excellent! I think a lot of people could benefit from those points.
I have been at my jobs 7 and 1.5 years, and feel that I make mistakes a lot, which affects my mood, but fortunately, I usually get distracted by other work, and (temporarily) forget that I screwed up. I also have very little confidence in my ability to do my jobs, so I think I make more mistakes because of that.

SilentAndShy · Feb 17, 2014

The Monday went well. That mistake I made on Friday I corrected which my colleague acknowledge in a cheery way but other than that, a standard day.

Tried to break my day up abit more, taking some fresh air and going to try to remind myself of compliments that my colleagues have given to try and brush away the mistakes.

Iseesky · Feb 17, 2014

I know how you feel. I've been at my admin job for 2 years now. It was my first job ever and I made lots of mistakes at first. I think lots of my mistakes had to do with inexperience. Just not fully knowing how things work yet. But also a big problem for me was not being comfortable around my coworkers and being afraid to ask them for help or have them elaborate when they needed me to do something. All it took for me was time. It's probably going to be the same for you. Once you've been there awhile, you'll get to know your coworkers and you'll feel more comfortable taking direction from them and asking them questions and such. You'll be able to listen to them rather than immediately panicking about what they're going to have you do. Plus you'll get to know the ins and outs of how your job works, which will get rid of lots of mistakes, I'm sure!
Until then, learn from all of the mistakes you make and realize that they probably expect someone as new as you to make a few errors once in awhile!

Backandforth · Feb 17, 2014

The way I prefer to think of it is that it's not a mistake, it's an opportunity to learn. The problem is that you're expecting perfection when in reality NO ONE begins a job doing everything exactly the right way. People goof all the time, even employees who have been working for years. Instead of dwelling on the perceived mistakes every time they happen, ask yourself: did I learn something from this? I can guarantee that you did 100% of the time. No two supervisors are the same, either. One might expect things to be done one way while the other expects the complete opposite. I've had supervisors who would schedule me less hours if I wasn't participating in goofing off with the staff and I've had supervisors who expected you to punch in within five seconds of your scheduled time and to only do busy-work for the entire shift with limited socialization.

Take some of the pressure off of yourself to be this idealistic vision of who you think you should be and listen to some of the advice of the other posters. TheOutsider is totally right about your treatment of others while you're there. It's proven that people respond more to your body language than anything else. Do you think that the higher-ups got to where they're at on diligence and work ethic alone? Nope! Chances are that they fostered friendships with other people along the way and they generally became viewed as likable people. Don't get me wrong, your work ethic is equally as important, but generally people will be more forgiving if they think you're a nice person.

You got this!

Banini · Feb 20, 2014

I'm sensitive to mistakes too. I think we punish ourselves too much for the small things because, we strive to please others too much and have very high expectations for ourselves. I often find myself thinking that I don't deserve to be happy unless I am also successful and doing well.

I wish I could tell you what to do but, I'm awful at controlling this feeling!

SilentAndShy · Feb 22, 2014

I think I'll be posting alot more in this thread..

I took a call from an organisation asking us if we'd like to be mentioned in their newsletter. Now, in my mind, my line manager had said to me that if I wrote anything on the website she would have to OK it so I thought well, I'll put the call through to her so she can decide if it's cool. I transfer the call through, she picks up and I tell her who it is and what she wants, she sighs exasperately and explains that this call is partly down to my job responsabilities. She says she'll take it this time but next time it'll be me.

After I put the phone down, I was slightly edgy. She then came to the front office, where I'm based to tell me what she'd said on the phone. Because I was taken aback, I did't think to tell her my reasons for putting it through so she could OK it. She said I need to be more assertive which she said before to me.

I now know that next time I'll handle it and it's fine but I thought I took the call well but she said she was doing calculations when the call came and she had to re-start.

I'm starting to feel apprehensive being around her. Sometimes she talks to me relaxed about non-work stuff then sometimes she can be abit short with me. I don't even want to go to her office to ask her something because I think she'll make some remark.

I even had a call later on in the day but I took a message and gave it to her and she even acknowledge that she could be 'ratty' at times.

I just don't know how to handle her. I feel my 'mistakes' are affecting their impression of me (her and the manager who is above her)

I feel like I'm struggling and it's not even been a full month!

Sacrament · Feb 22, 2014

I'll just quote what I said in another thread:

You can't do anything if you're afraid of failure. Everyone fails. Everyone. No one has ever, is ever, or will ever be perfect at everything. It's through failure that you learn. You can't expect a life where you don't fail, but you can expect and create a life where failure is normal because it helps you improve your skill at something. Be eager to learn, and open to the fact that everyone makes mistakes, not just you. Besides, you'll never be in the future. All that you have, see, feel and can interact with or change exists right now. The things you want and need have to happen right now.

Obviously not all of this applies to you because you're mostly focused on what happens right now, mistakes and all that, but it can help you out as well. The more afraid of failure you are, the more prone to it you are as well, because you're just not as focused. If you're not sure you can do something properly, ask for guidance, and then work on that particular skill until you're not afraid to do it anymore. Until then, just be cool with it, accept that all of the people who work with you need help with random things as well, as they have always needed, and will continue to need. Look at it as an urge and desire to learn things, just like everyone else in the world needs if they want to do something. Anything you do right now, you had to learn it through trial and error. That never changes.

MikeyC · Feb 22, 2014

SilentAndShy said:
I think I'll be posting alot more in this thread..

I took a call from an organisation asking us if we'd like to be mentioned in their newsletter. Now, in my mind, my line manager had said to me that if I wrote anything on the website she would have to OK it so I thought well, I'll put the call through to her so she can decide if it's cool. I transfer the call through, she picks up and I tell her who it is and what she wants, she sighs exasperately and explains that this call is partly down to my job responsabilities. She says she'll take it this time but next time it'll be me.

After I put the phone down, I was slightly edgy. She then came to the front office, where I'm based to tell me what she'd said on the phone. Because I was taken aback, I did't think to tell her my reasons for putting it through so she could OK it. She said I need to be more assertive which she said before to me.

I now know that next time I'll handle it and it's fine but I thought I took the call well but she said she was doing calculations when the call came and she had to re-start.

I'm starting to feel apprehensive being around her. Sometimes she talks to me relaxed about non-work stuff then sometimes she can be abit short with me. I don't even want to go to her office to ask her something because I think she'll make some remark.

I even had a call later on in the day but I took a message and gave it to her and she even acknowledge that she could be 'ratty' at times.

I just don't know how to handle her. I feel my 'mistakes' are affecting their impression of me (her and the manager who is above her)

I feel like I'm struggling and it's not even been a full month!

I know it would've been scary to bring up for fear of extra derision, but could you have explained to her why you transferred the call to her? Maybe she could've then understood.

SilentAndShy · Feb 22, 2014

MikeyC said:
I know it would've been scary to bring up for fear of extra derision, but could you have explained to her why you transferred the call to her? Maybe she could've then understood.

TBH, in the heat of the moment, I didn't think. It was only later I thought this is the reason, i.e to get her to OK it, which I thought of hours later. If I'd explained to her the reason why I was transferring the call then maybe she might not have reacted the way she did.

MikeyC · Feb 22, 2014

SilentAndShy said:
TBH, in the heat of the moment, I didn't think. It was only later I thought this is the reason, i.e to get her to OK it, which I thought of hours later. If I'd explained to her the reason why I was transferring the call then maybe she might not have reacted the way she did.

It might be too late to bring it up now, but if this happens another time, you could bring up why you did it and she might see your point of view.

Bosses can be unpredictable, especially if they have an unapproachable personality, but it's better to be confident in your actions than to meekly surrender. Easier said than done, totally.

awkwardamanda · Mar 1, 2014

Ugh. Mistakes eat at me for ages too. Sometimes I'll be reminded of something stupid I did years afterward. I just can't shake bad memories sometimes. I'm job hunting too and I fear the same thing when I find something. I'm afraid I'll make mistakes or poor judgement calls and get in trouble or I'll be scared to ask questions.

From what I've read, I'm actually getting the impression maybe they should have given you more thorough training. Some employers just like to give new staff a crash course and then let them fend for themselves. And then they wonder why they aren't picking it up fast enough.:kickingmyself:

SilentAndShy · Mar 5, 2014

awkwardamanda said:
Ugh. Mistakes eat at me for ages too. Sometimes I'll be reminded of something stupid I did years afterward. I just can't shake bad memories sometimes. I'm job hunting too and I fear the same thing when I find something. I'm afraid I'll make mistakes or poor judgement calls and get in trouble or I'll be scared to ask questions.

From what I've read, I'm actually getting the impression maybe they should have given you more thorough training. Some employers just like to give new staff a crash course and then let them fend for themselves. And then they wonder why they aren't picking it up fast enough.:kickingmyself:

Maybe try volunteering in the sort of work you're looking for. Volunteers aren't under the pressure that someone who is in work is so hopefully any mistakes won't be that bad and easy to rectify.

On your second point, my line manager has said about an induction/sitting down with me to discuss filtering e-mails/calls but not happened. She's busy but it'd be ideal. I'm trying to learn on the job and even yesterday, I put a call through to her who was a chap she had been speaking to over the last few weeks about a deal and yet when I put it through, she said the same thing about taking responsibility and I was like "You've been speaking to this guy, what do you want me to say?" but tbh, sometimes she does be light-hearted with me so it helps in a way that these incidents are here and there and that she does have a lighter side so that in a way, is helping me not be too apprehensive about approaching her. Once I know how to do something, i.e filtering calls through properly then I'll be fine but need some training/advice on that.

awkwardamanda · Mar 7, 2014

SilentAndShy said:
Maybe try volunteering in the sort of work you're looking for.

Sorry, but I just never understood this advice. Most jobs don't have volunteer analogs out there. You can't just call up a company and offer to do some work for free. And it's not always easy to get volunteer jobs. Sometimes there's a long process involved and you may have to provide references just like a paid job. If there was a volunteer version of the type of job I would most like, it would take as much training as it would if I were being paid anyway. Non-profits have to pay people to do certain jobs. They can't expect people to volunteer to do every task because they wouldn't get much accomplished. Also, I think if you're volunteering for the sake of volunteering and making your resume look good, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. If you're gonna volunteer, it should be because you want to do a good deed and help the organization. There aren't too many organizations I feel strongly enough about that I would want to help beyond giving money. Right now my time would be better served trying to find a job, and maybe even on all the other things in my life I've been neglecting since I've been busy looking.

SilentAndShy · May 1, 2014

So, just to give an update as I'm approaching my fourth month in the job.

As you might have noticed from my first post, how I felt I was doing bad in the job and making mistakes. Well, I had an appraisal meeting today and my manager said I was brilliant! She was really pleased with my admin tasks and offered advice on how to do certain things etc and she wrote complimentary comments in my report.

I'm relieved more than over-joyed, just a relief to calm down my fears. It showed how I'd over-reacted in the first month of work, just nerves getting the better of me but in time, getting used to working with different people and THEIR way of working and that has grown in time.

theoutsider · May 1, 2014

SilentAndShy said:
So, just to give an update as I'm approaching my fourth month in the job.

As you might have noticed from my first post, how I felt I was doing bad in the job and making mistakes. Well, I had an appraisal meeting today and my manager said I was brilliant! She was really pleased with my admin tasks and offered advice on how to do certain things etc and she wrote complimentary comments in my report.

I'm relieved more than over-joyed, just a relief to calm down my fears. It showed how I'd over-reacted in the first month of work, just nerves getting the better of me but in time, getting used to working with different people and THEIR way of working and that has grown in time.

Congratulations, SilentAndShy! I think most of our worries tend to be overblown in the end. It doesn't stop us from doing it but it's always nice to see yet another testimony that fear is so often a lie. Keep up the good work!

alxbkr · Jun 5, 2014

If you don't make a mistake once in a while, you're doing life wrong.
If you haven't failed, you aren't going to succeed.
etc. etc..

ONE mistake completely ruins my day..

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