DespairSoul

When I was 14 I made I speech I was in front of 30 or 40 students; I felt nervous, my body was shaking, and I choked. I looked to the floor, cried and left the classroom.

15 to 17 year old I was totaly Isolated, skip classes, failed classes, everyday when I woke up I felt scared to go to school. Often I couldn't sleep thinking about what is going to happen next day at school. I was a ghost (No friends) On my free time I played video games and basketball alone.

My Story: I barely remember my past this is because I have memory loss. My SA started when I was 13. My childhood: I'm the youngest I have a sis and a bro my siblings gave me hard times, My parents believe more in my siblings than me. they blame everything that happened on me. No hugs, no love, My mom and my siblings criticized me too much. My dad I didn't see it that much because he was working all the time. I become distant from my family. I remember I pass all the time isoleted, collecting insects; That's my childhood.

I will post my story; I'm very concern I have 3 disorders or 4... I stop going to therapy and I've been feeling worse. It's very expensive; So, I'm not giving up... I released a music album a month ago, I sold over 100 albums in 4 weeks. Now a days I'm working on my 2nd album. 3 years ago I start learning mix and remix songs. If you want to check my website, you can. TuneCore : DJ SL

"I relate to this EMU::"

(((hugs)))

hehe at MountainMiracle-silly girl! my vision has actually improved he said...wow! that's good news, i still have to wear contacts though so not like a "Miracle" of an improvement LoL have a good weekend, up to anything fun?

Hi Beautiful soul, thank you for your sweet comments, i am good today. I am feeling very nurtured by the great people in this forum, it is amazing how strangers can make us feel better than family at times.. i wish you a wonderful day

You're very sweet, thank you. Whenever people ask me what's been up or how are you, I normally find it difficult to answer too because having SA/depression mostly stops you from doing anything and stops change. ^^

Sleepover was kinda of bad since I had to join in with conversation, I felt a bit left out cause I was stuck for words, but it's alright, I know it's not always a terrible thing to be quiet. Just got to work on feeling more confident :/

Maybe cheerful isn't the right word :: I meant the heart shows a light inside you, something beautiful inside the sadness, a soul like you said

Hi Despair, I'm ok as I can be thank you how are you?
The party was ok thanks very much for asking. I drunk a bit to take the edge off my nerves and I ended up having a good time in parts. Though I did feel a very self conscious at times, that was inevitable. There's pressure to act in a certain way in clubs anyway :/ having conversations was still difficult, but that's just something I've gotta work on. Overall, it isn't something I want to do regularly XD maybe once in a blue moon.
Thanks so much for your message. What have you been up to recently? x

ps. I really like your new picture, it's a little more cheerful than the last one but still pretty

Hey DS I went to the eye doc today-LoL. I like to get them ALL done at once how r u ??

Hi Despair, just wanted to say "hi" and I hope things are going well for you.

Hi back from the dentist/doctor and survived hehe
How are you?

I am, I have been married for four years. I am very fortunate because he supports me and puts up with my SA, even though he does not struggle with it.
And even though we don't leave near one another, luckily the Internet provided us with the opportunity to meet others who have SA ^-^

I'm so sorry that you hate yourself. I don't hate you at all, and I wish you lived near me because I would spend time with you. I don't think there is anything wrong with you..living with SA is just so difficult because it does make you feel like there is something wrong with you..I feel that way too. Like I'm a freak. I hope that, at the very least, talking with others who have the same affliction helps you. I know it has helped me..knowing that there are others who fear being around people.

hello. so where are you from? is it winter or summer by you?

Lack of motivation is common for me as well. I am one of those people who has hopped from job to job, and I have been a college student for 3 years and I'm still not close to being done because I only take like 1 or 2 classes a semester (that's all I can really handle). I really have to push myself, it takes all my mental and physical energy just to get through the day..Right now I work at a dog grooming shop since I love animals. So far, this has been my favorite job because I don't ever have to deal with people, and that makes it pretty easy for me. I think maybe finding a "niche" through trial and error has been an important part in finding stability...but like you said, it's hard to get motivated. What are some things that you truly enjoy? Do you find it hard to focus on those as well?
I hope your day gets better, hun. Remember, you deserve to be happy!

I keep posting responses in my own page, lol. I'm so sorry about your feelings of hopelessness..it's hard to think positive when there are so many ostensibly negative things going on. Take solace in the fact that you have people here who understand and support you no matter what ^-^

Nice to meet you, too. Thanks for wanting to help ... I will let you know.

Hi,im ok,thank you for asking.Tomorrow again school:/There many reason why I should not go there and i have only 1 weird motivation to go there.I hope it will not be to stressfullly.Im happy that i can talk here with you
I hope you feel better today.

Hi thank you for adding me. I love the new nickname by the way hehe. Just glad to know there's others like me out there. Hope you had a lovely weekend too. If you ever feel like talking I'll be here XD *hug*

heeey there

I was watching a very silly movie this week with my bro Smiley face , and we watched shark hunt (H), So yeah Anna faris is a funny actrice haha.
& My brother loves movies about sharks,crocs and monsters, so I thought, okay then. How are you doing now??^^. Having a nice weekend??

Take Care!!!!

i love your posts on here very inspiring

X Flowerrrrrrrrrr