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Old 08-11-2017
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I've missed almost every class this week, I managed to get quite sick (either a really bad flu or its bronchitis) and so havent been able to handle going to classes. I went to my photography class and one and a half of the astronomy classes... But I just didnt have the strength/emotional stability/ consciousness to attend any others.. This means I have missed a whole week of Japanese which Im sure Im really going to pay for, the attendance requirements for Uni is actually really strict and so theres a chance they'll kick me out of the Japanese unit because I missed the lecture and the 2 classes.. Its actually really stressing me out because I am still sick and worried I'll miss more classes if Im not better, and Im worried about failing/ being kicked out of the course.

It also means I have a ton of homework/catch up work to do this weekend and I dont know if I'll manage the amount.. ugh, I hate feeling so stressed out and having so much to do in so limited a time...
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Old 08-11-2017
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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I'm sorry, Xen.

Hopefully you'll be able to get back into the groove.
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LoyalXenite (08-11-2017)
Old 3 Weeks Ago
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I've been freaking out all day. My dad's friend said that this morning my dad told him he was selling the house in 4 weeks and moving an hour to an hour and a half south west of where we are living. This will mean I go back to being homeless but this time with my 3 dogs as well. I dont know what to do.

Things were finally feeling stable, I was drowning in uni work and getting ridiculously stressed over it, but I thought I had stable accommodation and a plan for my immediate future with hopes for the long term...

Now I dont know what to do. I tried to ask my dad today about it because he hasnt mentioned anything to me, but I chickened out because Im scared to hear it confirmed. If I end up homeless again, how can I properly look after my dogs, how can I keep going to uni. Everytime I think things are getting better, that im getting my life under control and actually moving forward everything falls apart and I just dont know how to keep going.

Tomorrow I will have to ask him. I need to know because if its true then I might as well stop working on the assignments and start desperately trying to find a place that I can afford and that will allow 3 big dogs... When I was homeless before it was hell trying to find a place to rent and that was without dogs.. Im so scared and stressed out right now
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Old 3 Weeks Ago
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I remember a time of chaos... ruined dreams... this wasted land.
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That sounds like Hell, I know you're especially stressed about your dogs.

For their sake, Xen please talk to your dad soon, you're gonna need all the time you can get to start making plans.

I wish you the best luck in the world.

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LoyalXenite (3 Weeks Ago)
Old 3 Weeks Ago
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Yeah Im really gonna try and make myself bring it up tomorrow, I need to know where I stand and what my options are gonna be.
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Old 3 Weeks Ago
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It was a throwaway comment.

Dad came home and I managed to ask him. It turned out to be a throwaway comment, i feel dizzy with relief.

I was so scared I was gonna be homeless again. It was all just a fleeting comment with no actual standing. I've been so stressed since yesterday and it was all for nothing. Im so relieved. I feel like Im gonna just melt away with relief...
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Old 3 Weeks Ago
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I'm so glad, Xen.
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LoyalXenite (3 Weeks Ago)
Old 3 Weeks Ago
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Ugh. Got my marks back from the mid session exams... I did terribly. I scrapped a pass in astronomy (literally just passed with like 52%) but I failed the Japanese mid term so hard.... I got 20/90, so like 22%... and its worth 30% of the final overall mark so odds are I've failed the subject entirely.. Im going to email the coordinator and see if I can do a supplementary assignment to at least bring me up to a pass for the subject...
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Old 3 Weeks Ago
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Coordinator said theres no option for supplementary assignments, but as long as I do well in the rest of the assignments and the final exam I'll still pass... I'm going to need to ace everything just to scrape a pass in the final mark for the subject....

Side note... I have a mouse whose decided to nest somewhere in my room/half a garage set up. I went to put fresh sheets on my bed and noticed a stash of seeds and mouse poop in there... Now I have to rewash all that bedding (serves me right for being lazy and not putting them away properly) and move that furniture and sweep it all out before that mouse becomes mice... I knew theres been one about coz my dogs have been trying to catch it, but I thought it was in the half of the garage that I dont live in (where my dad has boxes and various of his stuff stored)

On a positive note I won a free day out thing from the maccas monopoly... Theres a lot of options but I've narrowed my choices down to
-The Escape Hunt Experience Sydney
-Australia Walkabout Wildlife Park
-Delta Force Paintballing
-Manly Sea Life Sanctuary
-Illawarra fly treetop walk
-Sydney Tower Eye experience


(https://sydney.escapehunt.com/
Home
Delta Force Paintball Sydney
https://www.manlysealifesanctuary.com.au/
Illawarra Fly Treetop Adventures - Illawarra Fly
https://www.sydneytowereye.com.au/)
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Stressing over and also highly anticipating the end of the semester... just two more weeks of classes til exam period, then two exams, an essay, and my photography display. Before then I have a Japanese oral exam, an Astronomy excursion, an Astronomy exam and a creative writing assignment due... I just cant wait for it all to be over but Im so stressed about flunking Japanese

I got real down about it earlier today and ended up spending $70 on ebay (Gotta love the zero impulse control of the borderline lifestyle.. )

Also forgot to take my meds the last couple of days so Im a bit of an emotional mess. Got quite down on the fact that due to my social anxiety, appearance, and utter absence of a social life the odds of me being never being in a relationship, serious or fling or anything of the sort, are actually quite high Its usually something Im good at not thinking about or just telling myself that Im ok with it and I have my dogs and they are all I need. But some days I just feel so alone and crave an intimate touch (not just of the sexual nature, but the closeness of a relationship)
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