Loyal's Thoughts

[LoyalXenite]

Why does life always have to have so much drama going on in it... Whats it like to have a quite life?

Theres been this absolute psycho woman whose been harassing my dad (consequences of a one night stand) and it has been steadily escalating, for a quick view of her absolute lunacy. a few weeks ago she was in our front yard causing a huge scene and then deliberately drove her car into an electricity pole. She's been writing letters to my dads work and now he has to have a meeting with the big boss and his immediate boss because theres been multiple times now that she has contacted his work. I know he is quite worried about losing his job over it too so he is quite stressed at the moment. I wont give the details on it just because the situation is not resolved yet and I dont want anything I post to somehow bring more problems to the table. But suffice to say there is a chance that my father will lose his job because of this psycho and that is really affecting him and Im quite concerned for him/his job and feeling like theres nothing I can do to help/ very anxious about how the next few weeks are gonna go with all this crap going down...

I'm still worrying over my uncle and feeling useless there too..

Not to mention this stupid crush shit that my dumb gay brain decided to form is still hanging around and making emotions even more erratic than usual....

I hate feeling.. I wish there was a switch. I'd much rather my numb days over these emotional days...


I did get one bit of good news however and I passed that exam that I was so worried about... So I've gotten all my results now and passed this semester ok (I say ok coz my marks werent great unfortunately, but at this point Im just relieved to have passed). I've got 18 more days of holidays left before next semester so hopefully that gives me enough time to refresh my brain and at least start off decently in this semester...

 

[LoyalXenite]

Taking one of my dogs to the vet soon, she's been limping for a couple of days. They play rough so after finding no wounds or *****les or any physical reasons, I assumed she had sprained it or banged it. But its day 4 now and no improvement so much to her soon to be disgust I'm gonna take her to the vet... Really hoping they dont want to do an xray or anything too expensive... Its bad enough that its gonna be a minimum of $60 just for the consultation, not including any medicine/procedures...

 

[LoyalXenite]

Ugh. I have a throat infection. I only have like 12 days of holidays left and Im about to spend a good chunk of them sick, then the rest will be cleaning and prepping for the new semester h:

 

[Graeme1988]

Ugh. I have a throat infection. I only have like 12 days of holidays left and Im about to spend a good chunk of them sick, then the rest will be cleaning and prepping for the new semester h:

I know, being unwell sucks. I've been blocked up for the past few weeks, myself. Sore throat, and my ears are blocked, so I can barely hear a thing. :thumbdown:

Anyway, get well soon. :thumbup:

 

[LoyalXenite]

I know, being unwell sucks. I've been blocked up for the past few weeks, myself. Sore throat, and my ears are blocked, so I can barely hear a thing. :thumbdown:

Anyway, get well soon. :thumbup:

thanks Graeme, you too!

 

[LoyalXenite]

Sickness is even worse today... Fairly confident Im dying

 

[BlueDays]

Sickness is even worse today... Fairly confident Im dying

I know it is easier said than done in this fast pace world, but you need to rest, rest and rest some more. LOL :bigsmile:

Are you able to have a decent amount of rest at the moment?
I could post you some of my delicious Hot Chicken Soup, but by the way this countries post is going down the drain at the moment, you would probably not receive it until September, lol.

 

[LoyalXenite]

I know it is easier said than done in this fast pace world, but you need to rest, rest and rest some more. LOL :bigsmile:

Are you able to have a decent amount of rest at the moment?
I could post you some of my delicious Hot Chicken Soup, but by the way this countries post is going down the drain at the moment, you would probably not receive it until September, lol.

I actually crashed for about 15 hours today, didnt wake up til 8:30pm :bigsmile: so getting rest seems to be doable for the next few days. Thank god for uni holidays!

September seems a bit optimistic, hell, expecting it to arrive at all might be too optimistic

 

[LoyalXenite]

Bit stressed out because Im still sick, uni starts back up in a week, and tomorrow there will be guests over coz dad is throwing a last minute BBQ.. Its currently 5:40am and I'm waiting for the sun to rise so I can clean up the dog poop and shower and then I'll try and get some sleep before people start to arrive...

 

[LoyalXenite]

Im feeling quite disoriented and confused after waking up from a 17 hour sleep.. I'm actually still tired too, I keep getting head spins, which I think is actually coz my ears are still blocked from this stupid sickness... my throat isnt hurting anymore but I've still got a cough, really hope it clears up before uni starts back up on Monday... actually before then coz I really wanna do a good clean of my little half a garage room and get everything all in order before Monday... would help if I dont sleep for 17 hours again before then too:bigsmile:

 

[LoyalXenite]

Cant believe my holidays are almost over, new semester starts on Monday :crying::bigsmile:

I kinda wanna do something fun or special for my last two days of holidays but I dont know if Ill end up doing anything. Maybe just a beach trip with the dogs and visiting Gabe's grave will be all I end up doing. I kinda really want to do a last minute road trip or something with someone, but since I really only hang out with my best friend and her sis and her mum (and usually its only once a week to play D&D) I dont see it happening...

One of the things I hate most about social anxiety is the crushing loneliness I get alongside the inability to do anything about it.... Doesnt help that most of the time I hate humanity :kickingmyself: Maybe if I wasnt such an awkward hermit with no self esteem or self confidence and worked on my agoraphobia more I'd be able to make another friend...

I was reading about Geocaching and it sounds like fun so it might be something I can get into and get out of the house more, and not just for uni or groceries... I dont know if I'll actually do it.. I always get really interested in something but never manage to go and do it...:sad:

 

[Graeme1988]

One of the things I hate most about social anxiety is the crushing loneliness I get alongside the inability to do anything about it.... Doesnt help that most of the time I hate humanity :kickingmyself: Maybe if I wasnt such an awkward hermit with no self esteem or self confidence and worked on my agoraphobia more I'd be able to make another friend...

That pretty much describes me as well. :sad: Hemit, no self-esteem or self-confidence. Aye, that's me. Though, I kinda wish things had been different for me in life, really. Or, at least, the growing up with a dysfunctional family... I could've done without that.

I was reading about Geocaching and it sounds like fun so it might be something I can get into and get out of the house more, and not just for uni or groceries... I dont know if I'll actually do it.

Had to look up Geocaching... sounds like pretty interesting hobby, actually. And, whether you decide to do it or not, you actually gave a good reason for doing. As you said, it'll get you out the house for something beside going to uni and grocery shopping.

I always get really interested in something but never manage to go and do it...:sad:

Same here. Though, I also have a habit of taking an interest in something, starting said hobby, then losing interest in it. h:

 

[LoyalXenite]

Same here. Though, I also have a habit of taking an interest in something, starting said hobby, then losing interest in it. h:

If its something that doesnt require leaving my nest then I'll start it, but if its not then I usually dont get to the point of trying it....

 

[Graeme1988]

If its something that doesnt require leaving my nest then I'll start it, but if its not then I usually dont get to the point of trying it....

That's what I'm like as well.

I actually got an offer, last year, after stricking up conversation during the interval of a comedy show with a young lad from the Scottish Highlands - who like me, has cerebral palsy - to trying out for a fairly local wheelchair basketball team in Carlisle. Which is a town in the North of England, not far from the border with Scotland.

Though, this offer came just a month after get my knee and leg surgeries done; and my legs were still in plaster casts by that point. So it felt a bit awkward taking the offer at the time. Given I didn't know how things were going to turn out for me. And it's not a sport I've taken much interest in, so... :idontknow: I probably have the build for it, right enough? :thinking: Just not the stamina or coordination.

 

[LoyalXenite]

That's what I'm like as well.

I actually got an offer, last year, after stricking up conversation during the interval of a comedy show with a young lad from the Scottish Highlands - who like me, has cerebral palsy - to trying out for a fairly local wheelchair basketball team in Carlisle. Which is a town in the North of England, not far from the border with Scotland.

Though, this offer came just a month after get my knee and leg surgeries done; and my legs were still in plaster casts by that point. So it felt a bit awkward taking the offer at the time. Given I didn't know how things were going to turn out for me. And it's not a sport I've taken much interest in, so... :idontknow: I probably have the build for it, right enough? :thinking: Just not the stamina or coordination.

I probably would have made the same choice, though sometimes I feel too awkward refusing an offer so I say I'll think it over then come up with an excuse of why I cant fit it in :bigsmile:

 

[LoyalXenite]

First week of the Semester down.... 15 more to go..

Already the amount of homework is insane... Tomorrow I have to read all of Homer's The Odyssey because I spent today doing the Japanese homework. Boy have I totally spaced out on all the Japanese, I have totally forgotten so much of it over the mid semester holidays, I really hope it all comes back quickly coz there isnt any recapping being done this semester, its all go go go again. Aside from reading the Odyssey and trying to remember a semesters worth of Japanese I only have a couple things to do for photography, and no homework yet for Astronomy thankfully. So not too much but considering it is only week one its enough to have me tired and stressed already..

I'm really looking forward to the Astronomy classes, it even has excursions in it which is awesome! The first one is technically on campus star gazing, but the next one is to a science center when we get to watch a planetarium show as well as look around the center after hours. I'm really excited to go because I havent been since it was in this tiny little building a good 20 years ago.

 

[Graeme1988]

I probably would have made the same choice, though sometimes I feel too awkward refusing an offer so I say I'll think it over then come up with an excuse of why I cant fit it in :bigsmile:

I actually did that. :bigsmile: I said I'd think it over, but I'd be off my feet for at least year rehabilitating from my surgery. So I had an excuse being in plaster casts at the time. Though, I say a year... I was back on my feet by April 2016. But everything hadn't fully healed until early December of that same year.

But I'm the same when comes to being too awkward to refuse an offer. I guess it's just the whole not wanting to come across as stuck-up, y'know?

 

[LoyalXenite]

Already the amount of homework is insane... Tomorrow I have to read all of Homer's The Odyssey because I spent today doing the Japanese homework.

I did it. I read The Odyssey. Now for a bit of photography homework and then more Japanese study.... or perhaps I'll reward my hard work and just take a nap... until tomorrow morning's class :bigsmile:

 

[Graeme1988]

I did it. I read The Odyssey. Now for a bit of photography homework and then more Japanese study.... or perhaps I'll reward my hard work and just take a nap... until tomorrow morning's class :bigsmile:

Well, if I was working as hard as that, then I'd reward myself with a wee nap. :thumbup: But that's just me.

 

[LoyalXenite]

Well, if I was working as hard as that, then I'd reward myself with a wee nap. :thumbup: But that's just me.

In the end I sat in front of the computer in a tired state for a few hours then went to bed :bigsmile: