Introverts are losers

CeeJay1981

Banned
First of all let’s define the terms introversion and extroversion. Introversion is the act of directing one’s attention inward or to things within the self, like thoughts and feelings, rather than the external environment. Extroversion is the opposite. It’s defined as the act of directing one’s attention outward to external things as opposed to one’s own inner world of thought and feeling.

I think most people would agree that our modern western culture tends to favor the extrovert personality. The emphasis is very much on getting things done and staying busy all the time. It’s almost an offence to just sit around and really enjoy the moment fully without the stress of needing to be somewhere else or doing something as a means to an end. Many of us feel guilty when there is nothing to do and we get a nagging sensation from deep within that we should be doing something. For some reason our culture frowns on this more passive, reflective and healing state of being. No wonder the world is uptight.

Some people who tend to reside on this more introverted end of the spectrum can feel incredible self hate toward themselves if they buy into the cultural belief that life is about going faster, achieving more and staying occupied all the time. They can get trapped in a downward spiral of feeling bad because they are not ‘doing’ as well as others, looking around and noticing how they are falling behind and feeling even worse and on and on.

Having said that, there is a time for a more outwardly focused and action oriented approach. I’m not suggesting that culture is wrong to value extroversion. I just believe that it has got stuck in a ‘high gear’ and would benefit from learning how to slow down a bit.

We cannot live entirely in our own thoughts and feelings. It’s stressful for our mental, emotional and physical health. Similarly, we cannot be doing, doing, doing all the time either because that too is stressful.

I believe the way forward is for us as individuals, and as a culture as a whole to become more flexible. It’s important that we don’t label ourselves as an introvert or an extrovert but realize that we all live on a spectrum. Every human being is capable of moving up and down this spectrum given the demands of the situation.

For example, there are times when being more introverted is beneficial like when you need to concentrate on ideas or make plans or do calculations or to deeply relax. It’s also necessary to enter this more receptive and passive state to allow our minds to integrate and process new learning’s and experiences.

Similarly, there are times when being more outwardly focused may be more appropriate such as when interacting with people, creating connections, having fun or when playing sports.

The trap that most people fall into is that they identify with these states of introversion and extroversion. They assume that they ARE either introvert or extrovert when in reality it is something we DO. The key to happiness and success in the world is to become aware, or conscious, of HOW we do introversion and extroversion so that we can be at choice over our behavior and how we act. This gives us flexibility and endows us with great personal power which makes us more effective in creating the results we want in our lives.

Keep going and never give up guys :)
 
Winning is for losers

Good post, but introverts aren't losers. Losers are losers. I'd agree that there are some people who are neither introverted or extroverted, as well as that there are always certain things that can be considered as being either one of those things. There are also however, people who actually are definitely either introverted or extroverted. Nothing to do with social phobia, it might just be the way they are. I know that I am one of those people, and it's clear to me that's just what I am.
 

mndigi

Well-known member
Words like "loser" are just calling people names. Maybe one feels good about oneself by calling others names, and it's just being self-centered and egotist.

But it is true that extroverts get more opportunities to better their lives than introverts. Actually they seek out those opportunities actively. And basically, these qualities are important, because nature has made us selfish and it's every person for himself/herself. So naturally, those are more active will corner more resources than those who aren't. If we weren't selfish, and we freely helped others, then these qualities won't be all that important.
 

klytus

Well-known member
But it is true that extroverts get more opportunities to better their lives than introverts.
Is that true? It appears to me that most leaders in the computer engineering and silicon industry are introvert geeks, or at least had been such during their early years in school and university. In fact, being predominantly introvert is almost an integral part of becoming good at scientific fields. Someone who needs the attention and affection of others as the major source of energy will likely not have enough time to focus, or not develop such introvert interests in the first place.
 
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dottie

Well-known member
i don't handle extroversion well. i am fine with the label introvert. because it's true. how about: I BE ME as long as i'm not harming anyone and society can suck it.
 

NothingElseMatters

Well-known member
I believe the way forward is for us as individuals, and as a culture as a whole to become more flexible. It’s important that we don’t label ourselves as an introvert or an extrovert but realize that we all live on a spectrum. Every human being is capable of moving up and down this spectrum given the demands of the situation.

i like your post.and agree with what you said above.the way that i see it in my head so that i can understand why both of this sides are important is that most of the songs i like,i connect to and they touch me were written and made mostly by introverts that had the ability to move in that spectrum and present it to the world.that doesnt mean that their character changed.it means their actions did.maybe there are actions of introversion and extroversion made by individuals and not individuals who are this and that.nice post man
 

no1

Banned
eh.. introversion/extroversion are simply modes of behavior. Nobody is really fully introverted or extroverted, unless they are. If you are always one way then you are being extreme.
 

sorrow1

Well-known member
Introversion and extroversion are just labels. Everyone’s personality is unique and will fall somewhere on the spectrum, this is just human nature but I will agree that society definatlely favours those on the extroverted end

But If you look at the trends in schools the more extroverted children tend to be the delinquents and the bullies because they get bored easily in academic situations. They get their energy from socialising and bullies tend to belittle others because it improves their social status. Where as introverted children tend to do better at school, they don’t crave socialising as much and are content with their own thoughts and imagination. They also enjoy learning and so grow up with a better understanding of the world. Introverts tend to be the scientists and inventors which benefit society more than the actors, actresses and reality TV stars in my opinion. Society at the moment is self destructive and if society was more introverted I think there would be less hate in the world and less conflict.

There are many different societies that are formed because of a few people’s beliefs and then everyone else follows that belief without question because they want to fit in. The media pumps peoples minds with lies and people strive to be like the stars that they see because they feel that’s the only way they will fit in and be happy.

I consider myself introverted and my ideal life would be to live on a farm somewhere remote where I could grow my own food and live off the land, have a wife and kids perhaps. But society frowns upon me because I don’t want a high cooperate job being in control of other people, squeezing out profits at the expense of others for my own personnel gain. Because I don’t want to drink myself to death and shag around spreading diseases. Because I don’t want to be part of a society that is vain, cruel materialistic and hateful. Because I don’t want to pollute the atmosphere and destroy nature for the sake of having a big house, a big car and huge telly. Personally I prefer to read books about the world, history and different cultures rather than watching stupid reality tv shows.

One of the hardest things is to just accept yourself for the way you are. Why try to be something your not just because someone else tells you this is the way you should live your life. Why the hell are we here on this planet if the point of life is to just follow the so called rules of society that some person came up with hundreds of years ago.

So Yes maybe in society’s eyes introverts are losers but if this is what society is like then I am quite happy being different.
 

Mokkat

Well-known member
Introverts aren't losers - people who live very introvert lives but spend most of their trying to think of a way to fit into a generalised extrovert society, and getting depressed about it, are losers
 

Noca

Banned
Calling yourself a "loser" is a cognitive distortion called "labeling", there is no such thing as a "loser" in this context.
 

NothingElseMatters

Well-known member
Introverts aren't losers - people who live very introvert lives but spend most of their trying to think of a way to fit into a generalised extrovert society, and getting depressed about it, are losers

the FIRST post was not about introverts being losers.read all the post.
++trying to make a better life is not a loser's attidute friend.it takes guts
 

sorrow1

Well-known member
No-one is completely introverted or completely extroverted. people lie somewhere on the line. I am more introverted than extroverted but i get somedays where i will enjoy a social event or i will crave seeing my friends and this would be deemed more extroverted behaviour.

Really theres no right or wrong way to live your life. To say a more extroverted life is a better life is false. If i was to live a more extroverted life because society tells me this is the way i should live then i would be constantly feeling drained, overwhelmed and deppressed and crave my alone time.
For me personally leading a more introverted life would be bettering my life because i would be happier within myself. I would be happy just havng a few close friends i see every so often and a job i enjoy rather than a job for the sake of money or social status. Somepeople would probably call me a loser for wanting to live this way but I certanly dont think introverts are losers.

and yeah if your extroverted but cripled by social anxiety then theres nothing wrong with trying to be that way if thats what you feel will better your life and make you happier. It deffinately takes a lot of guts to get past this shite.
 

doesit

Well-known member
it doesnt matter if youre introverted or completely extroverted,there are no problems to be one or another,until it doesnt affect your mental being :)
 

normalizine

New member
I've known some pretty cool losers...most of the people I've known in fact. They teach me things that I couldn't learn talking to a motivational speaker.
 

mimi1988

Well-known member
I couldn't get past the 3rd paragraph. This post is waaay 2 long. Then again, "lazy" is my middle name haha. And we're not losers! We're just... socially challenged?... lol
 
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