If it all went away tomorrow

I read a story recently about a man who had been blind his whole life who had undergone some sort of medical procedure to restore his vision. He was so frightened by the visual world that he purposely re-blinded himself a few weeks after the procedure. He just didn't know how to deal with it.

And that got me thinking. If you woke up tomorrow morning with no fear, no anxiety about any kind of social situation, would you know how to deal with it?

There was a time in my life when my condition was under control very well, I felt about a million times less anxious than I do today. But after about six months, I realized I had no sweet clue how to make friends or ask girls out. I wasn't afraid I just had no idea how.

I found it terrifying at the time because I had been supposedly cured up my horrible affliction and things still sucked.

I've slipped back to almost where I was before then, but I hide it better now (I would make an amazing superhero) to the point where most of my family think its all behind me .

So, back to the question, if it all went away tomorrow would you know what to do?

If I was able to remove all of the anxiety by will, I would initiate more conversations, but i still wouldnt know what to say to girls. I would be really quiet, but there would be a smile on my face since i wouldnt be anxious or nervous.

Yes, I would, because I am always thinking of what I would say and how I would act if I didn't have anxiety. Occasionally I don't feel anxious in certain situations I usually do, and I handle it well and realize that it would be that way all the time if I suddenly had no anxiety. It would be wonderful, actually. When I'm with certain people this anxiety is nonexistent and I can be myself and have fun, be confident, feel like life is great. It could always be that way, but then it all comes back and goes back to gray...

But yes, I would know exactly what to do, nearly all of the time.

I wouldn't know how to approach a girl, but without the anxiety stopping me, I would at least have the confidence to try. Plus I wouldn't be anxious about sex.

i've spent every day of my 33 years on this planet dealing/coping with, bending and warping around this SA demon in my gut. i've put together a looooong list of coping techniques, developed into a generally thuggish looking character. i listen to rap, hip-hop, rave music. I don't do drugs thankfully, but I get pulled over by cops all the time because they think i'm a drug dealer. i'm prone to wearing leather jackets and sporting a mohawk...

if the SA disappeared tomorrow, i'd be a hollow shell of deviant coping mechanisms. i'm scared of what i'd do if the demon within actually left me.

If you woke up without any fear or anxiety you'd be emotionally dead, you wouldn't feel human. No one can live in an emotional vacuum like that.

However, if I woke to my pre anxiety days I would cope very well. I had fear and anxiety then but I could talk to people, now I can't.

socialorphan said:

There was a time in my life when my condition was under control very well, I felt about a million times less anxious than I do today. But after about six months, I realized I had no sweet clue how to make friends or ask girls out. I wasn't afraid I just had no idea how.

I've slipped back to almost where I was before then

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I've been thinking the same thing today actually. There was a time last year where social anxiety seemed to be cured; I'd go days being completely myself, not living in this distant trance of turbulent confusion. Now it's back, and I don't know how or why and it fluctuates like a rollercoaster. Confused, I thought I had it under control, now I'm spending my daysbouncing between the following on a minute-minute basis; (a) avoiding certain people cos I don't care about them
(b) wanting to initiate conversation with the same people (c) avoiding them because of fear I'll stuff up.
Unstable is a euphemism. Before I experienced 'cure' I was always depressed. Now I'm mostly depressed with a heck of alot of confusion. Dark cloud consumes rationality and I think it wins by draining hope, deleting positive experiences from the bank of recollection and making you believe that it'll always be there, and it's easier to give in. No control, it is completely frightening. It's even etched its way into all of my relationships and environments, everywhere.

Of course, that would be the least thing. How can someone even ask such question. I also hate the term "social skills", as these are no SKILLS at all. On the contrary, the exact point of these so called "social skills" is, that they have to come naturally, otherwise it would negate its true nature.

webnoone said:

Leather jackets are great! When I decided to change my wardrobe to try and up my confidence that was one of the first articles of clothing I adopted.

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I know huh? all i'm missing is the motorcycle , do you ride one?

Lea said:

. I also hate the term "social skills"

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oh i'm soooo with you on this one... another of these dumb clichés normal ppl use to denigrate social phobics "oh he needs to work on his social skills, he's got no skill at socializing like us mneh mneh we're so superior." the worst part is our vocabulary arsenal is like aeons beyond theirs, and we're capable of articulate communication. we just can't pull the trigger and get the words out of our mouths xD. so loud and dumb ppl have better "social skills" just because they open their mouths more often... basically.

R3K said:

...so loud and dumb ppl have better "social skills" just because they open their mouths more often... basically.

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Hmm, good point...

Although I CAN see how some of it involves actual skills, but I get what you're saying.

If it all went away tomorrow, I'd go on a vacation. A good one.

I'd Live and not just Survive

jc972 said:

If it all went away tomorrow, I'd go on a vacation. A good one.

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I'm going on vacation in six weeks, with or without it.

Kiwong said:

I'm going on vacation in six weeks, with or without it.

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I'm jealous

R3K said:

I know huh? all i'm missing is the motorcycle , do you ride one?

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I've had one for about a year (& a leather jacket). But i've hardly used it - i guess i've gotten used to staying away from the world so much that i now feel anxious even going for even a short ride down my road. Either that or i just can't be bothered (due to low-energy/depression/etc) .. or all of the above. Do you want it? lol

R3K said:

oh i'm soooo with you on this one... another of these dumb clichés normal ppl use to denigrate social phobics "oh he needs to work on his social skills, he's got no skill at socializing like us mneh mneh we're so superior." the worst part is our vocabulary arsenal is like aeons beyond theirs, and we're capable of articulate communication. we just can't pull the trigger and get the words out of our mouths xD. so loud and dumb ppl have better "social skills" just because they open their mouths more often... basically

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We need to accept that extroverts & normal people do have superior "people skills" (which i think is more inate/inborn talent mainly, rather than sth they had to work hard at learning over the years). And equally important is for us to realize we also have superior aspects (eg thoughtfulness, non-rudeness, deep-thinking). I think the trick is to be able to think & feel both equally, in all situations. Hopefully then the all-or-nothing, black-or-white type thinking is avoided, as such is very irrational, and therefore leads to bad feelings.

theslowesthand said:

I've had one for about a year (& a leather jacket). But i've hardly used it - i guess i've gotten used to staying away from the world so much that i now feel anxious even going for even a short ride down my road. Either that or i just can't be bothered (due to low-energy/depression/etc) .. or all of the above. Do you want it? lol

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wanna sell ur motocycle to me for 5bux? :ironicsmile:

theslowesthand said:

We need to accept that extroverts & normal people do have superior "people skills" (which i think is more inate/inborn talent mainly, rather than sth they had to work hard at learning over the years). And equally important is for us to realize we also have superior aspects (eg thoughtfulness, non-rudeness, deep-thinking). I think the trick is to be able to think & feel both equally, in all situations. Hopefully then the all-or-nothing, black-or-white type thinking is avoided, as such is very irrational, and therefore leads to bad feelings.

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ya I don't disagree that extroverts/normal ppl have superior social/ppl skills... I just hate the term "social skills" itself :veryangry:, or "anti-social"...

idk, I kinda strayed off the whole topic of the thread with this whole tangent anyway. another thing I might do if the SA went away tomorrow, now that I think about it, is write a book called the "Introvert Disadvantage" haha.