How to change?

EgoZero

EgoZero

Well-known member
How can you change after years of constant self-hatred, negativity, life hating and all the failures you had. How can I actually change myself, my mind and my life? I do want to do that, but I just cant, I tried alot, but it feels like that whole negativity and hatred is in my blood now. It always gets me back to the bottom and adds just more failures to my life.
 
N

noob-leech

New member
I don't know...

We aren't armchair psychiatrists, so we don't know too much about how to treat these feelings of self-hatred and negatively, do we?
 
Honda

Honda

Well-known member
Well you arent working hard enough if nothing helped so far... You need to push the limits and be adventurous... You need to suffer pain so you could later experience the joy and nothing is more satisfying than that..
 
Luke1993

Luke1993

Well-known member
I suppose I've asked the same question to myself numerous times. Perhaps.....move away? Like start your life again or something? I've always wanted to do that!
 
DarkSeeker

DarkSeeker

Well-known member
My counsel, take some time alone to learn how to be more assertive. Once you get a taste of what you truly want, it's eventually going to become more and more difficult to go back to the way you are now.

Changing yourself is not something that happens overnight, and it's not something that is easy to detect by yourself. It takes a lot of determination and patience.
 
Y

yuletide with bleach

Active member
EgoZero said:
How can you change after years of constant self-hatred, negativity, life hating and all the failures you had. How can I actually change myself, my mind and my life? I do want to do that, but I just cant, I tried alot, but it feels like that whole negativity and hatred is in my blood now. It always gets me back to the bottom and adds just more failures to my life.
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Yes you can!!! I used to be really really pessimistic.

If you can learn to be optimistic you have much more freedom.

I dont mean become a blind optimist.. Be a pragmatist.... that tries to see the good things in life more than the bad things.

You are not negative because its in your blood. I really think that too sometimes.. But when i remember the time I tried being an optimist for a while I remember what it feels like and i have to go back.

Your pessimism will probably come and go.Mine is not completely gone yet either. Trying to be an optimist is like learning how to balance something. It helps to have a goal so you always have something to look forward to, too. That is the most important thing...

Also going on some medication to keep yourself from having intrusive thoughts helps. If you do not know what an intrusive thought is I think you should google it. Knowing how to battle intrusive thoughts is one thing that helped me a ton.... And just.. Lots of googling for the answers.
I hope this helped.
 
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K

Krista

Well-known member
EgoZero said:
How can you change after years of constant self-hatred, negativity, life hating and all the failures you had. How can I actually change myself, my mind and my life? I do want to do that, but I just cant, I tried alot, but it feels like that whole negativity and hatred is in my blood now. It always gets me back to the bottom and adds just more failures to my life.
Click to expand...

It's extremely hard to just stop yourself from years of feeling like that, it's a learned habit so it becomes a part of you like any other habit you have. The trick is to take it one step at a time. There's no reason to rush it because more than likely if you try to take it all at one time and "fail" you're going to feel worse about yourself. Twice the negativity. It takes like twelve days of doing the same thing daily to form a habit but ten times as long breaking it. It's a mind set, you have to be fully committed to changing the way you think. If after awhile you're still waiting for yourself to fall off the wagon of sorts it's probably because in the back of your head you're still thinking the same.
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
EgoZero said:
How can you change after years of constant self-hatred, negativity, life hating and all the failures you had. How can I actually change myself, my mind and my life? I do want to do that, but I just cant, I tried alot, but it feels like that whole negativity and hatred is in my blood now. It always gets me back to the bottom and adds just more failures to my life.
Click to expand...

Exactly, it is a vicious circle. I have the same problem. I think there is no hope I could bring it anywhere in life or be happy. The thought it will always be so is bringing me down and I keep thinking of suicide wherever I go. Then there is the thought that it must be somehow my fault why I am like this and that being unhappy and depressed is a sin and I am bad because of it, it brought me to the point where I am crucified alive.
 
EgoZero

EgoZero

Well-known member
Honda said:
Well you arent working hard enough if nothing helped so far... You need to push the limits and be adventurous... You need to suffer pain so you could later experience the joy and nothing is more satisfying than that..
Click to expand...
true, but how to do that?
 
EgoZero

EgoZero

Well-known member
sabbath said:
u admit your mind is working against u, but u still listen to it?

all that negativity and talk of failure is bogus

instead of believing lies all day, why don't u do something constructive?
Click to expand...
believe me I'm doing lots of constructive work.
 
E

Emily_G

Well-known member
EgoZero said:
How can you change after years of constant self-hatred, negativity, life hating and all the failures you had. How can I actually change myself, my mind and my life? I do want to do that, but I just cant, I tried alot, but it feels like that whole negativity and hatred is in my blood now. It always gets me back to the bottom and adds just more failures to my life.
Click to expand...

Little steps. That's what I've always heard for losing weight...both the physical and mental parts when you've been obese your entire life. Little steps and little goals. Like instead of saying "I want to lose 20 lbs by the summer time" make goals like "'I'm going to eat at least 2 fruits and veggies a day" and "I'm going to go on a walk everyday".

Not sure if that helps at all...but I have a feeling any change will come slowly and you actually have to work at it.
 
killtomorrow

killtomorrow

Member
yep i know exactly what you mean..
maryjane helps me through the day,and im in the process of starting over some place new broke as ****,takin a big ass chance.
 
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Noca

Noca

Banned
My therapist is doing Humanistic Self-actualization therapy for my problems similar to the OP.
 
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