Have you ever tried to get a girlfriend or boyfriend?

IamThisOne

Well-known member
I haven't ever tried to get a girlfriend. I'm always to afraid of getting rejected and I don't know what to say.

I would also like to know what types of places do humans meet the ones who become their girlfriend or boyfriend? I would like to get a girlfriend, but I don't know of any places to meet any because I don't have many girls in my classes at college and I don't meet any girls my age where I work.

I know this thread is stupid, but I want information on the subject.
 

coyote

Well-known member
See, the thing is, it's not that simple, really.

It's not like going out and shopping for a new vacuum cleaner.

Otherwise, I'd tell you to go to Wal-Mart.


Seriously - you just have to meet people.

PEOPLE - men, women, whatever.

You make friends with these people.

As connections build and you get to know one another, attractions between the sexes begin to develop.

So then you take a step forward - based on these attractions - and ask someone you're attracted to if they'd like to spend some time together doing something you both enjoy.

Once you do that for awhile....well, it could take number of different turns.

If you are friends, and you like one another's company, and you enjoy spending time together....

That could be considered boyfriend + girlfriend.

Cool.

Sometimes, it involves sex.

That's up to the two of you to decide.

Communicate. Don't assume the other person wants the same thing.

This is important.

More importantly - have fun!

Otherwise - what's the point?
 

Tiercel

Well-known member
I've tried for years, but have only ever had varying degrees of failure. So I can't give you any good ideas.

In school I always had a difficult time befriending girls, so letting them know that I liked them as more than a friend was about as far as things ever got. Without fail they all either ignored me, avoided me like the plague, or ran like hell.

Nowadays I don't have the opportunities to meet woman that I used to have. No job, so no meeting anyone at work. No way to meet anyone playing single player games on the computer, or reading WWII books at home either. And any nice ladies I might meet helping to rehabilitate wild birds I've missed out on meeting, since my anxiety has kept me from volunteering for something I desperately want to do.

I've even tried dating websites occasionally, but with my self esteem in the sewers, I just don't feel like I have anything positive to offer anyone.

Then again, since I'm in the sewers anyway maybe I should find a girl with a great voice and teach her to sing. ;)

I apologize to those who miss the Phantom of the Opera reference.
 

IamThisOne

Well-known member
See, the thing is, it's not that simple, really.

It's not like going out and shopping for a new vacuum cleaner.

Otherwise, I'd tell you to go to Wal-Mart.


Seriously - you just have to meet people.

PEOPLE - men, women, whatever.

You make friends with these people.

As connections build and you get to know one another, attractions between the sexes begin to develop.

So then you take a step forward - based on these attractions - and ask someone you're attracted to if they'd like to spend some time together doing something you both enjoy.

Once you do that for awhile....well, it could take number of different turns.

If you are friends, and you like one another's company, and you enjoy spending time together....

That could be considered boyfriend + girlfriend.

Cool.

Sometimes, it involves sex.

That's up to the two of you to decide.

Communicate. Don't assume the other person wants the same thing.

This is important.

More importantly - have fun!

Otherwise - what's the point?

Where do I meet people? I don't know where to meet people. Work and college is the only place I see other people so I don't know where to go. I know I'm not going to meet someone at a store and become friends with them. Where do I need to go in order to meet people?
 

veggielover

Well-known member
Why can't you meet people from work? The more people you know, the more people you'll meet. Make good friends with just one person from work and they will eventually invite you to some sort of get together. Try your hardest to branch out and speak to people who you find interesting. What do you have to lose?
 

coyote

Well-known member
Work, college, wherever you go - there they are - people.

Girls just don't just drop out of the sky into your lap.

You have to take the time to make connections.

"Every journey of 1,000 miles starts with a single step"

This is true with relationships as well.

It might not happen over night - that's cool.

Just start the ball rolling.

See where it leads.

That's the best part anyways.



If you just want to get laid - that's a whole 'nother thing.
 

fitftw

Well-known member
I think my last relationship really screwed me up for women.

I haven't tried since, and I have no desire to. Too much work. Exhausting.

I used to, and they were friends of friends, or from school. Now I have no friends, and if I talk to anyone at school, it stays at school.
 

IamThisOne

Well-known member
Why can't you meet people from work?

The reason I can't meet people at work is because I am by myself when I work besides customers. The other people that work there are married and much older than I am.

The other reason is (I know you all will probably not believe me) I live in a weird area. Most of the people that come into the store are local people. So, (I'm serious) the people I see are either old people or "drug heads". I don't want to sound mean or anything, but I live in a "drug neighborhood". There have been countless meth labs near my house and everyone I know does drugs. I don't want to get in with that kind of crowd.

I live in a very small area and rural area so I don't see a lot of people from outside the area.

I don't want to any of you to think I am judging anyone because I am trying not to. Please don't think I am being mean or something.
 

coyote

Well-known member
@ EasySkankin2:

Take your time.

No need to rush.

You've got the rest of your life.


Seriously - you might NOT necessarily want to spend the rest of your life with the first girl you connect with anyway.

Just relax and enjoy the the journey.

Journeys - plural.
 
Last edited:

coyote

Well-known member
The reason I can't meet people at work is because I am by myself when I work besides customers. The other people that work there are married and much older than I am.

The other reason is (I know you all will probably not believe me) I live in a weird area. Most of the people that come into the store are local people. So, (I'm serious) the people I see are either old people or "drug heads". I don't want to sound mean or anything, but I live in a "drug neighborhood". There have been countless meth labs near my house and everyone I know does drugs. I don't want to get in with that kind of crowd.

I live in a very small area and rural area so I don't see a lot of people from outside the area.

I don't want to any of you to think I am judging anyone because I am trying not to. Please don't think I am being mean or something.

If you want to make something more of your life than you are able to with where you are located - then you should think about moving somewhere else.

I know this sounds really scary.

But look hard at what you're saying.

What is important to you?

Where do you want your life to go?

I hear so many people say - "yeah, but - This is all that is available where I am"

What do you REALLY want?
 
Jesus coyote, why couldn't you have been my father? Perhaps I would've turned out better... ;) Thanks man, really appreciate the input - wise words :)
 

IamThisOne

Well-known member
I'm kind of stuck at the moment. My work is next door to my house so I don't have to drive to go there. I don't make much money so I can't afford rent. My vehicles constantly need repair so I drive as little as possible. I just don't have the money to live somewhere else or I would.

Once I graduate from college and get a better job and some money I am going to move.
 

coyote

Well-known member
I'm kind of stuck at the moment. My work is next door to my house so I don't have to drive to go there. I don't make much money so I can't afford rent. My vehicles constantly need repair so I drive as little as possible. I just don't have the money to live somewhere else or I would.

Once I graduate from college and get a better job and some money I am going to move.

That's cool - concentrate on the positive.

Concentrate on what you've got, and where you're going.

There'll be time to make good, positive connections with people then.

In the mean time, learn as much as you can from your present environment.

What works? What doesn't work?

That'll put you further ahead later on.

It's all about taking that first step - you can't wait until things are "perfect" in your mind's eye.

That might never happen.
 

harlseq

Well-known member
I've never even really tried to get a girlfriend. Generally too shy and/or nervous to even really talk to them. Especially lately (as in last 3-4 years). I simply cannot overcome this at this time. The way I see it, it'll happen when/if it happens.
 
I am currently trying on a dating website for people with SA and other problems. The more I've initiated contact, the less scary it's become, even if I get rejected. I may not find someone compatible, but I'll keep trying until at least the fear goes away.
 

harlseq

Well-known member
I am currently trying on a dating website for people with SA and other problems. The more I've initiated contact, the less scary it's become, even if I get rejected. I may not find someone compatible, but I'll keep trying until at least the fear goes away.

What website is this?
 
Top