Co worker stabbed me in the back.

SmileMore

Well-known member
I work with a lady called Lyn who i thought i got on well with. We text each other outside of work and i've given her a lift home etc She's older than me so i sort of looked to her as a mother figure in a way.

I work in a care home and yesterday i was called into the managers office out of the blue. He said he had be told be "someone" that i wasn't happy in my job anymore and other such things. I denied i'd ever said that to anyone (i haven't) and he made some other accusations about me talking when i was supposed to be working. Again, he was told this by "someone". I told him that yes i do obviously speak to my co workers, just like everyone else does, but i get on with my work like i'm supposed to. He said he wasn't angry he just wanted to know if i was happy in my job. I said i was and that was that.

I work in the laundry with this lady who i thought was a friend. Sometimes another lady, let's call her Jane, will pick up any spare hours in there when either me or the lady i work with aren't there. For quite a few months people have been telling me that Jane is not happy in her job and wants mine. At first i thought this was just gossip but then i started to see signs that it might be true.

I spoke to the lady i work with (Lyn) and told her how upset i was about being pulled in the office when i felt like i'd done nothing wrong. She agreed and said that whoever it was that was bad mouthing me is pathetic and childish. For some reason, i had my suspensions about Lyn and Jane because they all of a sudden become very friendly.

Today, i know it was wrong, but Lyn left her phone out and when she wasn't there i checked her text messages. It turns out that she and Jane have been messaging each other about me for at least a month or so. Calling me names and reporting back to each other. Basically one will spy on me when the other has a day off then tell the other one what i'm doing. They were both bad mouthing me.


I spoke to our supervisor and she said that she will talk to the manager. She's very angry about what they did as well. I'm extremely hurt by what Lyn did because i've always been there for her. We've worked together for 3 years and i've worked for this company for 9 without any problems. It's only recently, since Jane has started working with us, that all this has happened. It's like she's poisened her against me because she wants my job.

I text Lyn tonight and told her i knew what she'd been doing and that i felt betrayed and hurt. She hasn't responded at all. I have the weekend off but on Monday i will have to face her and i have no idea what to do. How should i handle it? ::(:
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
Wow that's nasty, I'm cautious at work myself, been back-stabbed quite a few times.

Rules of Acquisition said:
Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
 
:( I feel for you. Work anxiety is truly awful.

I would wait and see if she approaches you and then try to talk honestly and calmly to her about it. If she doesn't say anything to you about it then I would ask if she received your text and then discuss it with her.

Easier said than done but I don't know what you'd do otherwise, besides pretend nothing happened, which probably isn't the best idea.
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
Wow, that's truly awful. It's funny how two people can work well together then when a third person comes into the picture, the person you got on well with suddenly feels they have to take sides. I'd like to say I've never experienced this firsthand but I have.

My advice is to make sure your manager is aware of exactly what is going on, especially the part about your belief that Jane wants your job. Make sure he is kept in the loop and reiterate that you are NOT unhappy in your job. I say this because I have a feeling that the two of them will ramp up their attempts now that they know you're on to them. Your manager should know ahead of time of the potential for dirty tricks coming his way directed against you.

As for what to do when you face Lyn again. I wouldn't say much to her. The damage has already been done and you have found out what kind of person she is. She has character flaws and will more than likely try to convince you she didn't do anything wrong. Don't argue with her. Listen to her pathetic story then go about your business, cutting her off as a friend (she doesn't deserve you). Continue to do your job well and keep your communication with her strictly on a professional level.

Hope this helps in some way. I'm really sorry you had to go through that.
 

SmileMore

Well-known member
Thank you for your replies. :) I guess i'm just going to have to go in on Monday and face it the best i can. I'm just worried that i'll end up in tears because i usually do when i'm angry.
 

SmileMore

Well-known member
Somebody from work just messaged me on Facebook and said that Lyn has just put: "Advice has been listened to. Letter written. Facts checked now ready to go."

I'm really scared. What could that mean?
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
Did you tell her or anyone else at work that you looked at her text messages? If so, she may have been asking around about what to do if someone did that. Someone could have told her to write a letter to the manager or supervisor detailing the chain of events that led up to you texting her. Be careful with this one. She sounds like the type who embraces trouble.
 

SmileMore

Well-known member
Did you tell her or anyone else at work that you looked at her text messages? If so, she may have been asking around about what to do if someone did that. Someone could have told her to write a letter to the manager or supervisor detailing the chain of events that led up to you texting her. Be careful with this one. She sounds like the type who embraces trouble.

I didn't tell her i looked at her phone. I just said i knew she'd been sending messages.
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
I didn't tell her i looked at her phone. I just said i knew she'd been sending messages.

That's a relief. In that case, I don't think she has much ammo to use against you. She may be the person who has been lying to your manager and may plan to continue the lies with this letter she's posting about but if you have been doing your job satisfactorily and have your supervisor on your side it will hopefully not get her very far. This could be her attempt to deflect some of the guilt she's feeling since you caught on to her being a two faced "friend". Let her be the emotional one while you keep a cool head. I think in the end she will come across as accusing and irrational. Especially if she has been telling the manager you said you are unhappy with your work when you really haven't.
 

AtTheGates

Banned
hmmmm...idk..iv been stabbed in the back by so many different people that its almost unbelievable...iv almost come to accept it as just a normal part of life...its just a thing that people do to me and I really dont have much say in the matter because everytime it happens everybody seems to be cool with it like its no big deal....im just "that guy" that people talk shit about and no one cares.
 
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THeCARS1979

Well-known member
I work with a lady called Lyn who i thought i got on well with. We text each other outside of work and i've given her a lift home etc She's older than me so i sort of looked to her as a mother figure in a way.

I work in a care home and yesterday i was called into the managers office out of the blue. He said he had be told be "someone" that i wasn't happy in my job anymore and other such things. I denied i'd ever said that to anyone (i haven't) and he made some other accusations about me talking when i was supposed to be working. Again, he was told this by "someone". I told him that yes i do obviously speak to my co workers, just like everyone else does, but i get on with my work like i'm supposed to. He said he wasn't angry he just wanted to know if i was happy in my job. I said i was and that was that.

I work in the laundry with this lady who i thought was a friend. Sometimes another lady, let's call her Jane, will pick up any spare hours in there when either me or the lady i work with aren't there. For quite a few months people have been telling me that Jane is not happy in her job and wants mine. At first i thought this was just gossip but then i started to see signs that it might be true.

I spoke to the lady i work with (Lyn) and told her how upset i was about being pulled in the office when i felt like i'd done nothing wrong. She agreed and said that whoever it was that was bad mouthing me is pathetic and childish. For some reason, i had my suspensions about Lyn and Jane because they all of a sudden become very friendly.

Today, i know it was wrong, but Lyn left her phone out and when she wasn't there i checked her text messages. It turns out that she and Jane have been messaging each other about me for at least a month or so. Calling me names and reporting back to each other. Basically one will spy on me when the other has a day off then tell the other one what i'm doing. They were both bad mouthing me.


I spoke to our supervisor and she said that she will talk to the manager. She's very angry about what they did as well. I'm extremely hurt by what Lyn did because i've always been there for her. We've worked together for 3 years and i've worked for this company for 9 without any problems. It's only recently, since Jane has started working with us, that all this has happened. It's like she's poisened her against me because she wants my job.

I text Lyn tonight and told her i knew what she'd been doing and that i felt betrayed and hurt. She hasn't responded at all. I have the weekend off but on Monday i will have to face her and i have no idea what to do. How should i handle it? ::(:

you dont want to jeopardise your happiness, I think you should avoid her depending on big the place is, stay away, say what you have to say and stay away , you may get your happiness back, people are backstabbers and I dont know why either
 

SmileMore

Well-known member
you dont want to jeopardise your happiness, I think you should avoid her depending on big the place is, stay away, say what you have to say and stay away , you may get your happiness back, people are backstabbers and I dont know why either

I work with her. I can't avoid her.
 

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
I work with her. I can't avoid her.

damn thats hard and what kinda business is this again
I had the same problem with a guy in the airport , oh about 9 or 10 years ago.
Well I wound up leaving to work at Jetblue and well after that I heard he got arrested for trafficking
but I see you have a totally different story
 
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SmileMore

Well-known member
Well, i survived. I went to see the manager on my own and explained everything. He then got us both in the office and told Lyn that it was her word against mine and that i wasn't going anywhere. He said that Lyn had already spoken to him before me and written a letter (lying) saying that i always use my phone during work hours and that i go on Facebook all the time when it's actually her that does that. I told the manager this and he seemed to believe me. He then got us both in the office and told Lyn that it was her word against mine and that i wasn't going anywhere. He also said that Jane was in no way going to get my job. I'm very relieved although having to work in silence isn't that great. She didn't speak to me the entire day.

When i got home i noticed she blocked me on Facebook. Probably so she can post things about me without me knowing. I'm very hurt that she stooped so low as to deflect the blame onto me but i guess she's just showed her true colours. Thank you all for your advice.
 
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