I met a guy on facebook haha and we met and yeah
I was so quite hardly spoke and was so robotic when he touched me or anything BUT he stayed and got to know me, which hardly anyone does
its now been 5 months and he knows me and I CANT LET HIM GO
I have to though, his been cheating on me since the very beginning and still is :crying:
And everyone has told me I should live but the thought of meeting another guy and going through another 5 months before I can be myself terrifies me and I cant. These 5 months have to be worth something!
I am not happy with him I have lost all confidence in myself. All them other girls are way more prettier without all the baggage of my mental issues.
He has helped me so much and he says he loves me but I feel like he says what I want to hear. I am starting to think he doesn't have a heart.
Other girls come and go and that but still. He even said this to me that 'I must be doing something right because I am the last one standing' I was hurt by this.
His now walking all over me and then he has the nerve to tell me to grow some balls and be bit more tougher and not so nice??!?!
Oh and this was after I met one of his other 'girlfriends'
If one girl leaves he gets another. At one point there was 10 now I don't even know.
Anytime he adds a girl on facebook I go through bad anxiety really bad where I look through photos and I am obsessed I am in such a bad way mentally.
I know all this cause I have seen the facebook messages.
Messages like 'why you not in my life', 'I have to meet you' or ' last night was fun (sexual stuff) which all break me down bit by bit :/
Yesterday I left in the middle of the night crying when he turned my laptop away and was on it for hours and ignored me when he was at my place. It took him a whole hour to notice I had left. I was so upset when I got back and he shrugged it off an didn't care :crying::crying:
I cant see my own self worth. I feel like nothing. I cry everyday. Not just of him but its made me have so low self esteem. I had a little anyway now I have none. I feel like his taken all that I had and I shame on me for giving it. This guy I met who is his friend said I picked completely the wrong person to trust and open up to.
I got pregnant and got an abortion and he doesn't even know. No one does. I am depressed.
Its simple. Live him his not worth it but am scared of never having anyone again and as I get the worst anxiety of him meeting another girl. It's literally physical pain. When I say another girl I mean another me, I do believe I am the one his properly with.
I am in a bad way mentally. A very bad way.
I was so quite hardly spoke and was so robotic when he touched me or anything BUT he stayed and got to know me, which hardly anyone does
its now been 5 months and he knows me and I CANT LET HIM GO
I have to though, his been cheating on me since the very beginning and still is :crying:
And everyone has told me I should live but the thought of meeting another guy and going through another 5 months before I can be myself terrifies me and I cant. These 5 months have to be worth something!
I am not happy with him I have lost all confidence in myself. All them other girls are way more prettier without all the baggage of my mental issues.
He has helped me so much and he says he loves me but I feel like he says what I want to hear. I am starting to think he doesn't have a heart.
Other girls come and go and that but still. He even said this to me that 'I must be doing something right because I am the last one standing' I was hurt by this.
His now walking all over me and then he has the nerve to tell me to grow some balls and be bit more tougher and not so nice??!?!
Oh and this was after I met one of his other 'girlfriends'
If one girl leaves he gets another. At one point there was 10 now I don't even know.
Anytime he adds a girl on facebook I go through bad anxiety really bad where I look through photos and I am obsessed I am in such a bad way mentally.
I know all this cause I have seen the facebook messages.
Messages like 'why you not in my life', 'I have to meet you' or ' last night was fun (sexual stuff) which all break me down bit by bit :/
Yesterday I left in the middle of the night crying when he turned my laptop away and was on it for hours and ignored me when he was at my place. It took him a whole hour to notice I had left. I was so upset when I got back and he shrugged it off an didn't care :crying::crying:
I cant see my own self worth. I feel like nothing. I cry everyday. Not just of him but its made me have so low self esteem. I had a little anyway now I have none. I feel like his taken all that I had and I shame on me for giving it. This guy I met who is his friend said I picked completely the wrong person to trust and open up to.
I got pregnant and got an abortion and he doesn't even know. No one does. I am depressed.
Its simple. Live him his not worth it but am scared of never having anyone again and as I get the worst anxiety of him meeting another girl. It's literally physical pain. When I say another girl I mean another me, I do believe I am the one his properly with.
I am in a bad way mentally. A very bad way.