cowboyup
Well-known member
Wow, where to begin. *deep breath*
In the grand scheme of things, no this is not a life changer, however, I am hoping I can gain your wisdom, insight...eh, something??
My NY *friend* is having difficulty (I'll get to this in a moment). OK, with that said, I need to confess to the fact we were in a fwb situation before he left. (I know, not a surprise...
)
But through talking with him through skype and text, I am quickly learning things are not adding up. So, with among other things he has going on, he slipped and told me that he was 'in love' with someone, girl A - but then they ended up cheating on each other and then he started dating another girl - girl B.
So, while he was still pining for girl A, he's developed feelings for girl B as well. Girl B started having medical problems-serious medical problems, he revealed to me. Meanwhile, he left girl B and went back and was rejected by girl A and as he said, 'had violent feelings like wanting to hurt her bf'... Then he lost his job, and was still in love with girl A, but seeing girl B on and off.
I saw him the day before he left for NY and he said he's hitting the road alone, and that was the plan all along.
recently, he said, "well girl B and I contemplated going to NY together but with her medical condition, she didn't want to be a burden so I just left"
(by the way, this made girl B feel abandoned by him, he told me)
This is the exact opposite what he told me.
Girl B recently underwent surgery and apparently he was the first person she called to say the surgery went well. And of course, this stirred feelings in him.
Now, my NY friend is thinking on moving back here temporarily because he doesn't feel at home in NY and he's always been a yes or no person but feels restless, bored, unsure of things, etc...
There's a LOT more, but I don't know exactly how to explain some of it.
Also, He's currently getting flack from the city regarding where his RV is parked at his friend's house, and the fact that he lives in the RV. So someone from the city is going to come out and make sure he's not living in it, therefore he's going to stay in his friend's spare room for a few weeks.
So, this along with his feelings for girl A and girl B are still boiling inside him, and he just doesn't know what to do.
OK, so where am I going with all this?
I've been lied to. I've been piecing the days/dates/what was told to me, etc. and what it boiled down to is that he was seeing both girl A and girl B and me. Yes, yes, I know I was never the gf just a fwb, but excuse my naivete
but can you be in love/love 2 people at the same time, and then have a casual fling on the side with no regret or looking back? Perhaps both girls got mad at him because they found out about me and he's not saying anything to me.
I would much rather he had just said, "look, I am dating 2 people (or one if he so chose) and I am in love so let's just be friends WITHOUT the benefit part"
Had he said something along those lines, I would have backed off because I had no clue all this was going on and he is a strong advocate on no condom yes, stupid of me, but luckily I get regular check ups.
So now, I get tons of texts from him acting as his emotional crutch of oh how sad he is, lonely, he made bad choices, etc, etc, etc.
Next time we talk I am questioning him...Not that I really care now, but I thought if nothing else, we were friends, but I am finding out lie after lie as well.
Would you feel betrayed?
I am sorry for this sounding more like a 'relationship thing' rather than SA, but since finding these tidbits of lies, I haven't felt like leaving my room, much less the house because I feel so drained - not to mention how dumb I feel for not knowing or even having a clue about these things.
In the grand scheme of things, no this is not a life changer, however, I am hoping I can gain your wisdom, insight...eh, something??
My NY *friend* is having difficulty (I'll get to this in a moment). OK, with that said, I need to confess to the fact we were in a fwb situation before he left. (I know, not a surprise...
) But through talking with him through skype and text, I am quickly learning things are not adding up. So, with among other things he has going on, he slipped and told me that he was 'in love' with someone, girl A - but then they ended up cheating on each other and then he started dating another girl - girl B.
So, while he was still pining for girl A, he's developed feelings for girl B as well. Girl B started having medical problems-serious medical problems, he revealed to me. Meanwhile, he left girl B and went back and was rejected by girl A and as he said, 'had violent feelings like wanting to hurt her bf'... Then he lost his job, and was still in love with girl A, but seeing girl B on and off.
I saw him the day before he left for NY and he said he's hitting the road alone, and that was the plan all along.
recently, he said, "well girl B and I contemplated going to NY together but with her medical condition, she didn't want to be a burden so I just left"
(by the way, this made girl B feel abandoned by him, he told me)
This is the exact opposite what he told me.
Girl B recently underwent surgery and apparently he was the first person she called to say the surgery went well. And of course, this stirred feelings in him.
Now, my NY friend is thinking on moving back here temporarily because he doesn't feel at home in NY and he's always been a yes or no person but feels restless, bored, unsure of things, etc...
There's a LOT more, but I don't know exactly how to explain some of it.
Also, He's currently getting flack from the city regarding where his RV is parked at his friend's house, and the fact that he lives in the RV. So someone from the city is going to come out and make sure he's not living in it, therefore he's going to stay in his friend's spare room for a few weeks.
So, this along with his feelings for girl A and girl B are still boiling inside him, and he just doesn't know what to do.
OK, so where am I going with all this?
I've been lied to. I've been piecing the days/dates/what was told to me, etc. and what it boiled down to is that he was seeing both girl A and girl B and me. Yes, yes, I know I was never the gf just a fwb, but excuse my naivete
but can you be in love/love 2 people at the same time, and then have a casual fling on the side with no regret or looking back? Perhaps both girls got mad at him because they found out about me and he's not saying anything to me.
I would much rather he had just said, "look, I am dating 2 people (or one if he so chose) and I am in love so let's just be friends WITHOUT the benefit part"
Had he said something along those lines, I would have backed off because I had no clue all this was going on and he is a strong advocate on no condom yes, stupid of me, but luckily I get regular check ups.
So now, I get tons of texts from him acting as his emotional crutch of oh how sad he is, lonely, he made bad choices, etc, etc, etc.
Next time we talk I am questioning him...Not that I really care now, but I thought if nothing else, we were friends, but I am finding out lie after lie as well.
Would you feel betrayed?
I am sorry for this sounding more like a 'relationship thing' rather than SA, but since finding these tidbits of lies, I haven't felt like leaving my room, much less the house because I feel so drained - not to mention how dumb I feel for not knowing or even having a clue about these things.
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