Do you talk too low?

anomicdeer

Well-known member
Do you talk in a low voice and "don't realize" it?

I am this way.
I think I'm talking in the same volume as everyone else but no one can hear me. I speak loud enough and it seems like I'm shouting. If I try that I get out of breath and people probably think I'm upset because I don't know how to talk loud enough and by me not smiling when speaking louder it would seem that way.

Today I embarrassed myself and will hate seeing this guy again. Someone said to me "You're quiet" (yeah, because I really didn't know that, right?). I just nodded and said yes. He was headed out the building but I was going upstairs, which I was still able to see him so I decided to be social and try not to seem like I'm scared of the world by saying something else to him and I don't think he even had any clue of what I was saying because he just had a fake smile on his face and looked at me with the corner of my eye as if he was seeing if I was talking to myself or something. I then realized that he most likely didn't hear me good enough. I feel like I wasn't being myself and embarrassed and he's probably disgusted by me now. He probably thinks I'm some weird stupid loner or however he would describe it.
 

anomicdeer

Well-known member
Not that I like this guy or anything but I wanted to make him feel a bit more comfortable to talk to me.

I know everyone there (in a work program I'm in) thinks I don't like them or that I just don't talk at all.
 

Lou-s-Darkness

Well-known member
Yeah, I get that a lot too. But I never had a guy tell me my voice was too low...maybe it's because I rarely talk to guys...or anyone for that matter (lol)...sigh.

I got that comment though a week and a half ago i think or 2 weeks? We had a gigantic final oral presentation in my program and the critic and my teacher told me my voice is too low and we can't really hear you well...Plus I had to hear them criticize me in front of the entire class about my work and verbal presentation). Imagine having people say that to you and say that you are reserved in front of the entire group? As though no one knew that already -_-...still sucks though..
 

Lou-s-Darkness

Well-known member
Oh! And don't feel bad about that guy! I know it's really embarrassing and hard to shrug off, but screw what he thinks. So your voice is a little lower than some, so what? It's who you are, what defines you and that's perfectly fine. Some people are loud and obnoxious. Being quieter is so much better than loud. :3
 

anomicdeer

Well-known member
He seems like a guy that everyone would get along with, but with me I'm sure someone is always saying bad things about me when I'm not around. I know the nicest person in the room could be the one that will be willing to say horrible things about someone. I know that might sound odd to say or won't make sense, but it's true.
 

Lou-s-Darkness

Well-known member
Aw, don't say that. I know it's hard to believe that there are good people out there, I have the same problem...I think everyone says bad things behind my back. But maybe we're both wrong. I hope...It's just the paranoia. :<
 

chev

Well-known member
When I get nervous around people, I've noticed I'm one extreme or the other. It seems the more I have to say, the louder and faster I talk. If I only have to say a quick sentence, then I talk too quietly and no one can hear me. Either way, I sound like an idiot. I understand how you feel though. I've had so many times where I would try to say something to someone and they thought I was just mumbling something to myself. When I am asked to repeat myself several times, I get more and more nervous that I begin to stutter a lot, jumbling all of my words together. Needless to say, I get a lot of confused or frustrated looks from others. I also stop mid-sentence frequently because I freeze up and can't remember what else I was going to say. The other person just stares at me for a couple minutes and then realizes I'm not going to finish speaking..so frustrating!
 

jaim38

Well-known member
Yes I speak in a low tone of voice when I'm not happy. Speaking to debt collection agencies especially about debt that I never incurred isn't exactly pleasant.

I got that comment though a week and a half ago i think or 2 weeks? We had a gigantic final oral presentation in my program and the critic and my teacher told me my voice is too low and we can't really hear you well...Plus I had to hear them criticize me in front of the entire class about my work and verbal presentation). Imagine having people say that to you and say that you are reserved in front of the entire group? As though no one knew that already -_-...still sucks though..

I would have been so embarrassed in this situation. My face will flush crimson and I will be close to tears.
 

Lou-s-Darkness

Well-known member
@jaim38

Yeah I was tearing up right before my presentation and basically royally ****ed up, but standing in front of everyone for 15 minutes having to hear them comment and judge was beyond horrible! I could feel my face burning like a volcano. I think I'd rather humiliate myself in front of one person, it's better than being the center of attention.
 
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chev

Well-known member
@jaim38

Yeah I was tearing up right before my presentation and basically royally ****ed up, but standing in front of everyone for 15 minutes having to hear them comment and judge was beyond horrible! I could feel my face burning like a volcano. I think I'd rather humiliate myself in front of one person, it's better than being the center of attention.

Presentations always have that effect on me too! Other people's comments afterwards never made it any easier. "Your face was bright red!..I couldn't understand a word you said...you were talking super fast...:giggle:" Some people act like all I need is practice. That doesn't help any. It just means more opportunities for me to humiliate myself.
 

Lou-s-Darkness

Well-known member
Presentations always have that effect on me too! Other people's comments afterwards never made it any easier. "Your face was bright red!..I couldn't understand a word you said...you were talking super fast...:giggle:" Some people act like all I need is practice. That doesn't help any. It just means more opportunities for me to humiliate myself.

My mom tells me I just need practice. And no one gets it when I say I have problems with public speaking, they all think I exaggerate! But it's how it is. I remember feeling so physically exhausted that day right after the presentation, oof! Glad that's over. And I do talk super fast, or sometimes really loud and other times really low, and I stutter constantly.
 

MotherWolff

Banned
I used to have this problem. Sometimes it still resurfaces in tight social situations. But over the years I have learned how to raise my voice without sounding rude. If anyone feels that badly about their voice they can just practice by talking to themselves. I think it works ok.
 

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
I am this way.
I think I'm talking in the same volume as everyone else but no one can hear me. I speak loud enough and it seems like I'm shouting. If I try that I get out of breath and people probably think I'm upset because I don't know how to talk loud enough and by me not smiling when speaking louder it would seem that way.

^this sums me up perfectly. I really do feel like I'm yelling when I talk at a "normal" tone (which doesn't feel normal to me at all).

I'm a huge mumbler too, so even when I raise my voice it's hard to understand me, so people always tell me to "speak up" when they really mean "speak clearer." Honestly I sometimes don't even bother to say anything because I know no one will be able to hear me. I'm so soft spoken I'm almost as good as mute.
 

planetweirdo

Well-known member
I used to be a selective mute as a child and only talked to family members. I didn't talk to other kids in school. but as I got older I began to talk more, but very low. Its very difficult for me to talk out loud in front of people that are not close friends or family. I also think my voice sounds very odd.
 

paperie

Well-known member
I get accused of mumbling a lot, but my natural speaking voice is just really soft. I tend to be even quieter when there are other people in close range, because I hate when others can overhear my conversation.
 

squidgee

Well-known member
I like to think that my voice is perfectly fine and pretend everyone is just deaf and has hearing problems.:bigsmile:
It might not be all that unlikely since so many people I see have their ears plugged with headphones all the time.
 
People say I am quiet all the time...I hate when they say you are a bit quiet...no **** sherlock, well done for using basic observations. Like it was new to me, I have people around me in my social circle who admit they are trying to save me...from what exactly! ...my personality? . I also hate when people who talk alot say to me they are shy too...why? To make me feel better?

Anyway when I am nervous I mumble alot, all the words just join together I don't know why I do it but it just happens because I am trying to speak fast....I also have a baby voice, its so high and I know girls are meant to have high voices but its so posh and high and ive moved away from where I was born so everyone finds it hard to understand me too cause I don't speak how they speak....ive somehow kept a strong accent...and I'm 21 and I moved when I was like 7.

I am sure the guy thought nothing of it maybe he was surprised you spoke to him or he was nervous to speak to you too...sometimes the strongest most confident people have the worst insecurities. ..
 
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