Never felt so alone in college.

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ShyGuy1994

Active member
My college is no fun at all. I've been lonely ever since my first day of college. I'm afraid to talk to people that I don't even know and I'm too shy to join a club or sport. Everywhere I go, I see people hanging out on campus. I'm always sitting by myself at lunch, and thought that someone will approach me, but no one does. I also stay on campus until 8PM, just sitting at an empty table by myself, and I would just see some people walking by but don't know that I'm there. I've already talked to a counselor, then she was going to have another counselor contact me for her group, but that counselor hasn't contacted me at all. I don't kow why, though. I think choosing a 2 year community college was a big mistake for me. I should've chosen a 4 year university instead. :''(
 
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jaim38

Well-known member
ShyGuy1994 said:
Everywhere I go, I see people hanging out on campus. I'm always sitting by myself at lunch, and thought that someone will approach me, but no one does. I also stay on campus until 8PM, just sitting at an empty table by myself, and I would just see some people walking by but don't know that I'm there.
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Wow, I wish I was more invisible, like this. When I took classes on campus, people notice me and bully me. I seem to attract bad luck almost everywhere I go. I wish people don't notice me at all and just leave the h--- out of me alone!!!

Now when I go out, I am afraid to sit by myself for fear that someone will gossip or harass me.
 
Uncertain

Uncertain

Member
In my short life on this planet I have learned, that you can NOT sit around and wait for life to start. It is so easy to just sit and wait - trust me I have done that!, but then you will wake up one day and realize that you have wasted THE BEST years of your life!!! You are young and you should do CRAZY S**T RIGHT NOW!!! Because when you grow old you WILL REGRET IT! You will regret that you did not do the thing you could. Somebody once said to me: IF IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE PEOPLE WOULD NOT BE DOING IT!

so just GO and GRAB the bull for the B****
 
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whatsoever

Active member
jaim38 said:
Wow, I wish I was more invisible, like this. When I took classes on campus, people notice me and bully me. I seem to attract bad luck almost everywhere I go. I wish people don't notice me at all and just leave the h--- out of me alone!!!

Now when I go out, I am afraid to sit by myself for fear that someone will gossip or harass me.
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Really? I thought people at campuses are more mature than in high school. At my university everyone is soo nice and social apart from me ;) I get sweat, blush and so on ;). But maybe I see it in different way because I study at psychological department.
 
TailsAlone

TailsAlone

Well-known member
ShyGuy1994 said:
My college is no fun at all. I've been lonely ever since my first day of college. I'm afraid to talk to people that I don't even know and I'm too shy to join a club or sport. Everywhere I go, I see people hanging out on campus. I'm always sitting by myself at lunch, and thought that someone will approach me, but no one does. I also stay on campus until 8PM, just sitting at an empty table by myself, and I would just see some people walking by but don't know that I'm there. I've already talked to a counselor, then she was going to have another counselor contact me for her group, but that counselor hasn't contacted me at all. I don't kow why, though. I think choosing a 2 year community college was a big mistake for me. I should've chosen a 4 year university instead. :''(
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Well, no matter where you are, you are partially creating your own problem. The same as many of us, you're waiting for people to come to you. You're projecting your fears onto the college itself. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. I did that a lot when I was younger. ^^

Try contacting the other counselor to follow up on the group idea yourself. Start there and see what happens. If anything, a 4-year college is more close-knit and exclusive than a 2-year school, which will make you feel even more left out and hopeless if you don't start practicing a few social skills now. I speak from experience. ;)
 
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gummybear22

Well-known member
hey ShyGuy1994, I HATED my first year of college!! but I went to a 4 yr and was a resident student-went there 2.5 yrs then transferred to the place I'm at now (commute now); I'm a senior. I've always been quite shy and antisocial, and at the 4 yr place at lunch I almost always sat by myself and when sitting with a group I hardly talked (though when sitting with just one other person there were usually good conversations between the two of us). The key for me in making the few friends that I did (besides class acquaintances) was to just be myself and join in conversations when I felt like I had something to contribute. I didn't do much hanging out until my last semester there where I became really good friends with my roommate.
If your college has events that you like (for me that would be movie night with a movie I'd actually like to see), then go to it and try to be confident- you don't need to go up to random people and start talking but add something to a nearby conversation if you deem it appropriate.
try to work on your confidence in being by yourself and you can be more confident talking to others and hanging out since you wouldn't depend on them.
you could bring your laptop to lunch to have something to do other than being completely lonely- same thing if you draw or write stories or anything else; I listened to my mp3 player several times during breakfast, lunch, and dinner and also while walking to classes and going for regular walks around the campus.
 
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jaim38

Well-known member
whatsoever said:
Really? I thought people at campuses are more mature than in high school. At my university everyone is soo nice and social apart from me ;) I get sweat, blush and so on ;). But maybe I see it in different way because I study at psychological department.
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Of course there are immature people in universities. Just because you turned 18 and have a driver's license doesn't mean you suddenly transform into a mature person overnight. I actually had a better time in high school compared to college; in high school, I wasn't bullied as much and people generally don't pay any attention to me. :D But university is where all my troubles start, which led to deep depression, suicidal thoughts, SP, and all the other problems I have now.
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
Buddy, you and I have this in common, school is like a major depressive thought for us. We sit by ourselves, we walk alone in the hallways, we feel awkward by the thought that we don't have any friends and that they might think we're a loner. But try to enjoy yourself, don't put those high expectations on you, you might wanna have a few friends, but at this point you don't, i know it is crap, but please don't tease yourself, there are like millions of ppl like us, in every school. You have a whole year or maybe longer to see what happens, just see what happens, that's the best thought. Don't let this lead you into a depression, i've been there, and I was avoiding school, it's a DON'T. you are learning for a diploma, not for friends. Though you can try , always :)
 
LazyHermitCrab

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
It takes courage to sit at a table in public. I always avoided doing that. Most people wouldn't just sit next to you if they don't know you. It seems easier to make a friend in your classes.
 
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whatisshame

Member
ShyGuy1994 said:
My college is no fun at all. I've been lonely ever since my first day of college. I'm afraid to talk to people that I don't even know and I'm too shy to join a club or sport. Everywhere I go, I see people hanging out on campus. I'm always sitting by myself at lunch, and thought that someone will approach me, but no one does. I also stay on campus until 8PM, just sitting at an empty table by myself, and I would just see some people walking by but don't know that I'm there. I've already talked to a counselor, then she was going to have another counselor contact me for her group, but that counselor hasn't contacted me at all. I don't kow why, though. I think choosing a 2 year community college was a big mistake for me. I should've chosen a 4 year university instead. :''(
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Oh my gosh, this sounds like me 14 years ago when I first entering college.
It was so scary, I told the first person I met that I'm scared.. And he didn't give a s*** about me... LOL

It was so scary because I had no friends from highschool. And my first experience living outside my hometown.

It gets better though. I think if you wanna talk to someone, just go for it. Don't over thinking it. Some people might be jerks, but who knows a few years from now? You might have better career, better life, etc..
 
Gaucho

Gaucho

Well-known member
so far my first 6 months of university is one of the toughest times i ever had in my life. I'm very lonely. i nearly get panic attacks when i have to got o new classes, i miss many classes because I'm too scared to go in. i still have this fear of been asked by professor and not know the answer or seem weird like in high school.
and I'm very antisocial, don't talk to anybody.
 
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ShyGuy1994

Active member
I don't know if I want to join a club/event or go up to people in college, because I'll embarrass myself in front of others and walk away with humiliation.
 
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SpongeBobRocks

SpongeBobRocks

Member
I'm in the exact same position as you, I'm in university and spend most of my time on my own, not talking to people despite wanting to.
My best advice would be to try and talk to somebody who also appears to be on their own. I know this will be hard too, but it might be easier for you to talk to just one person alone, instead of joining a group of people. (Plus, maybe that person is alone for the exact same reason, you never know)
 
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laure15

Well-known member
Back when I was a biology major, I remember going to a health professions club. Only 1 person talked to me, but that was because I asked her a question and she responded. Most of the time, I sat alone and as more people came in, I felt out of place. Some people quickly pointed me out for being alone. I never went back there ever again.
 
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ShyGuy1994

Active member
SpongeBobRocks said:
I'm in the exact same position as you, I'm in university and spend most of my time on my own, not talking to people despite wanting to.
My best advice would be to try and talk to somebody who also appears to be on their own. I know this will be hard too, but it might be easier for you to talk to just one person alone, instead of joining a group of people. (Plus, maybe that person is alone for the exact same reason, you never know)
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Well what if that person already has friends? That's what I'm worried about.
 
Solitudes_Grace

Solitudes_Grace

Well-known member
I went to a community college for two years and a 4-year university for 2 years as well. In my experience, there are a lot of college students who don't really talk to people if they can help it. A lot of people just show up to their classes, maybe spend some time in the library, and then go home. I'm sure it is the same way at your school. It may seem like you are the only student who is not socializing and making friends, but I am sure there are lots of students like yourself.
 
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