MeghanwithanH
Member
Wait... are we the same person? Seriously! It's like you live in my head.
Do you get the support you need
- Thread starter KiaKaha
- Start date
Wait... are we the same person? Seriously! It's like you live in my head.
polishgirl
Well-known member
Earthbound_Misfit
Well-known member
No.. I have a lot of people in my life that help me the way THEY think I need to be helped which usually is the last thing I need. Even my counselor doesn't get it. Which is why I come here.
Unfortunately, I think a lot of people that have trouble interacting socially have their family as their root problem. It's this way for me, but instead of my parents being bad parents, they're too good. I'm the baby of the family, and I've been coddled basically all my life. I love my mom, dad, and sister more than I can ever express. But because I relied on them so much, for such a large portion of my life, I was never really forced to have to talk or interact with people. It's kind of hard to explain, I'm happy that my family and I are so close, but they don't really understand why it's so hard for me to get out and make some friends. I'm always worried that everyone will think negative things about me. I don't get lonely all the time, but sometimes I would just like to be with someone other than family, you know? People make me so nervous, though, so going out and meeting someone is out of the question.
MikeyC
Well-known member
Damned if they do, damned if they don't. You and your family get along very well, so maybe you could explain to them your situation. I'm sure they'd be happy to help you out.
Damned if they do, damned if they don't. You and your family get along very well, so maybe you could explain to them your situation. I'm sure they'd be happy to help you out.
They do try to help out, bless their hearts! My mom is just like me social-wise, and my dad just doesn't get why we're so reclusive. I talk to my mom about these kinds of things all the time, but we both never really know what to do about it. It's nice to have family to fall back on, but they do give me bad habits.
It's honestly scary how alike my mom and I are. The last time we went to the mall we had to leave early because she felt weird breathing in the air that other people were in. Not that she found them disgusting, there were just too many people there for her to breath right.
What I'm trying to say is, is that they do try to help, it's just that they're kind of in the same boat as I am!
MikeyC
Well-known member
Ah, I see. Your mum seems like a similar person so it's good to have her to chat to, but not good to pick up her habits. You're stuck in the middle somewhere. Tough spot, but at least your family is nice.
BlueDays
1
No.
The only family member who I could talk about my problems with to some extent always made me feel like I was bothering her.
So I have to pretend all is well around her now, so I don't get the "god, do I have to be bothered having to listen to your problems when I could be doing something else" look on her face.
The only family member who I could talk about my problems with to some extent always made me feel like I was bothering her.
So I have to pretend all is well around her now, so I don't get the "god, do I have to be bothered having to listen to your problems when I could be doing something else" look on her face.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
No.
My mum is completely indifferent, and most of the time hostile, when I try explaining my situation, so we rarely talk. And my oldest sister seems to think my social anxiety will just disappear if I just get out of the house more often, without understand the severeity of my social anxiety. Not to mention, my akwardness and discomfort in nearly every social situation. I don't think that going to go away easily. It certainly isn't going to happen overnight. I'm surprised my family hasn't noticed my social anxiety every year during Christmas dinner, I mean, just there at the table saying nothing, thinking to myself: "When the f#*k is this going to be over?".
My mum is completely indifferent, and most of the time hostile, when I try explaining my situation, so we rarely talk. And my oldest sister seems to think my social anxiety will just disappear if I just get out of the house more often, without understand the severeity of my social anxiety. Not to mention, my akwardness and discomfort in nearly every social situation. I don't think that going to go away easily. It certainly isn't going to happen overnight. I'm surprised my family hasn't noticed my social anxiety every year during Christmas dinner, I mean, just there at the table saying nothing, thinking to myself: "When the f#*k is this going to be over?".
Not in terms of specifics, but I fully realize you have to solve your own problems in life. I have some issues but I can't expect anyone else to worry about them, much less fix them for me. The most I do is make a phone call to my dad or sister if I'd like to talk about something (which isn't often) but I don't expect any concrete action from them as a result. I tried therapy, but it didn't work for me at all. I do have my fiancee, who is wonderfully loving and supportive, but she's so outgoing and well-integrated with the world that I don't think she knows what it's like to avoid people the way I do. Still, she never criticizes my lifestyle. All that combined is enough for me to feel supported despite not being able to truly pour my heart out. The most important thing is that those closest to me all very much love me and at the end of the day, that's all I could really hope for. The rest is up to me.
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I do not understand why anyone would expect support.
Not expecting any, I am never disappointed, and sometimes pleasantly surprised.
Not expecting any, I am never disappointed, and sometimes pleasantly surprised.
doubtmyself
Banned
It's a hard question really.
Maybe I don't need as much support as some of you guys.
I don't suffer "depression". All I have is mild social phobia which can get out of hand sometimes. This is usually addressed with :
a visit to a counsellor for some CBT
a visit to a sauna to get rid of all body poisons
a long walk with the dog
a long swim.. one or 2 km
a long email
a long post on a forum like this
some meditation when I'm feeling disciplined
a long chat to my partner
But if I think in a more "greedy" way...I guess I never get enough support...
no one really understand me fully.....but we are all in the same boat, no?
Maybe I don't need as much support as some of you guys.
I don't suffer "depression". All I have is mild social phobia which can get out of hand sometimes. This is usually addressed with :
a visit to a counsellor for some CBT
a visit to a sauna to get rid of all body poisons
a long walk with the dog
a long swim.. one or 2 km
a long email
a long post on a forum like this
some meditation when I'm feeling disciplined
a long chat to my partner
But if I think in a more "greedy" way...I guess I never get enough support...
no one really understand me fully.....but we are all in the same boat, no?
Not anymore. I've tried changing my life for the better and all that did was shot me down back to where I was for the most part. No support system and lonelier than ever. Even a man I'm friend with and ever showed any real interest in my life seems to be drifting away now that he is doing better in life in terms of supporting himself.
I do have a couple family members, I don't trust them to share my problems or they see it as attention-seeking or causing drama like the rest of the people that have turned their backs on me
I do have a couple family members, I don't trust them to share my problems or they see it as attention-seeking or causing drama like the rest of the people that have turned their backs on me
I have no support whatsoever. Everything I have I have worked my butt off for, be it socially, finacially or any other area. No sir, no one offered me any help at all. That is why I get so angry when family try to control my life, they have contributed absolutely nothing to whatever little success I have and now they still think they have the right to comment. The day I started single handedly helped myself they have relinquish their right to say anything.
nafadda
Well-known member
no.. i don't look for 'support' from people I know...i found out the way to get stronger is look into yourself for 'support'..
the people that are real friends will accept me for who I am and how i live,seeing that I am not harming anyone or breaking any laws and have not developed ANY kind of drink or drug problem...i enjoy being reclusive now..even if no one understands it wouldn't stop me from doing it...i refuse to wallow in misery because i may not be just like EVERY one else..i also refuse to take perscription drugs that in MANY cases only make people feel far worse(i happen to believe this is a HUGE part of the problem many people have and nothing more then a crutch ,but big pharmacutical companys LOVE people who depend on them $$$$)..this isn't a cookie cutter ,all are alike world..(at least i hope it is not
the people that are real friends will accept me for who I am and how i live,seeing that I am not harming anyone or breaking any laws and have not developed ANY kind of drink or drug problem...i enjoy being reclusive now..even if no one understands it wouldn't stop me from doing it...i refuse to wallow in misery because i may not be just like EVERY one else..i also refuse to take perscription drugs that in MANY cases only make people feel far worse(i happen to believe this is a HUGE part of the problem many people have and nothing more then a crutch ,but big pharmacutical companys LOVE people who depend on them $$$$)..this isn't a cookie cutter ,all are alike world..(at least i hope it is not
KiaKaha
Banned
Works for some, but a lot of people dont have the personal capacity for that. If you have a breakdown and cant get out of bed because you have struggled - and been beaten down over and over again...then you wont be able to look into yourself for support - it needs to come from the outside.
It never ceases to amaze me how people tend to think that if its good enough for them its good enough for everyone else. There are far too many factors to think this way.
I do think from a humanistic point of view people should expect support - especially those who dont have (for reasons most of us cant fathom) the power to help themselves.
montejocarlo
Well-known member
Nope, I don't get any support. The problem with SAD is that very few people are aware that it exists. Most people would call you snob or timid. In my case though, the worst thing is that even my own parents believe I'm simply antisocial and they so badly want to change me that they sometimes tell me what to do or what to say to people. There are also times when they would tell me, "You're embarrassing us." or "You'll grow old alone because you don't know how to get along even with your relatives." That always made me feel unwanted. That they can't accept me for me and they want a different child. The only consolation I get is the thought that there are people in worse situation than I am.
MikeyC
Well-known member
That's bad. I'm really sorry. :
:
montejocarlo
Well-known member
That's bad. I'm really sorry. :
Yeah... But I don't feel that bad about it anymore. I know better now. I understand that they don't understand. Ironically, it sometimes make me feel lucky because I know I'm more informed and more sensitive than ordinary people. Those are my assets.
MikeyC
Well-known member
You've made the best of a bad situation, so that's not too shabby.Yeah... But I don't feel that bad about it anymore. I know better now. I understand that they don't understand. Ironically, it sometimes make me feel lucky because I know I'm more informed and more sensitive than ordinary people. Those are my assets.