What triggered the onset of your SA? Or have you always had it?

[Tigers are my favorite]

Just wanted to know if there are situations that you think triggered your SA. Or a time when it started for you.

For me, I think I've always been a shy kid, but became outgoing by the time I was in middle school. But my family picked up and moved to a new area before high school(so I was 13), and I had to start my social life all over again. I started out decently confident, but over the years my shyness has become worse and worse, and now I have trouble simply communicating with other people. Its become very depressing to know how much potential I had and to see me now. Quietness was seen as cute or harmless when I was a minor, but now people think its creepy and joke that I'm a serial killer. It becomes very lonely because of my SA.

 

[GillyMarie]

I am 35 now, and I think it started with my first job when I was 19, I did party quite a lot back then, drink and drugs.

 

[Graeme1988]

Well, looking back, in retrospect, I believe that my sheltered upbringing, most likely, triggered the onset of my SA.

 

[Moo]

I think I've always been this way. I remember not wanting to be at preschool aged 3 or 4 because I didn't want to be around the other children. Other events in my childhood made it worse (though I'm not entirely sure about that) but I'm convinced they didn't cause anything.

 

[Clown]

around the age of 13 it started, before that I was most talkactive popular kid in the class
and so I also had bright future before me. so much wasted potential

 

[Charmed]

Quietness was seen as cute or harmless when I was a minor, but now people think its creepy and joke that I'm a serial killer. It becomes very lonely because of my SA.

This

I believe it started when I was 7, when I switched to a new school. Then when I was 8, we moved to a whole new town. I believe this was around the time I started to really withdraw.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

It started seriously affecting me when I was about 11 or 12, when I hit puberty. But I think puberty just made it worse, as there were times in my childhood when I had some trouble with anxiety, but nothing that seemed out of the ordinary (common childhood shyness). I was always afraid of the teachers and if I ever got in trouble (which was rarely) then I would become extremely upset, even over a small matter. My psychologist said I may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) which might give me a pre-disposition to SA/AvPD. Other than that, I have no trigger. My parents never abused me and I was rarely ever bullied. I always wonder why I have this condition but there is no clear answer.

 

[Graeme1988]

Well, looking back, in retrospect, I believe that my sheltered upbringing, most likely, triggered the onset of my SA.

Just thought I'd elaborate on this. As well as my upbringing, I think bullying throughout my school years also triggered the onset of my SA. Around the time when I was 12 or 13 years old, that when my anxiety become really noticeable to me, especially at school. Though, I think I might be a Highly Sensitive Person as well. I'm not entire sure about that, it's more speculation than anything else.

 

[jennykins.3]

Junior high. I noticed i had a lot of tension & always freaking out when i walked in the class filled with people & my face would flush instantly when spoken to or when the teacher called on me. Even during roll call id throw my hand up real quick & never acutaly say "here". If teacher didnt see me & kept calling me id freak out. Thought i was just really shy. High school, i was more confident entering my sophmore year but the more confident i was, the worst it was. I had like 3 friends &id cling to my boyfriend cause i was terrified of others. Now teachers actually have admitted that they thought i was one day going to shoot everyone in school cause being this way is really creepy to others.. Makes me sad.

 

[Tigers are my favorite]

Interesting responses. I am wondering if anyone has experience with family members being overly judgmental. My family is. They care alot about appearances and stuff. I mean I still love them and they are nice people, but I think they ingrained this unrealistic idea of always looking good and not saying stupid stuff in public. They didn't allow failure. They always compared me to their friends children. And now I can't get that stuff out of my head.

 

[Graeme1988]

Interesting responses. I am wondering if anyone has experience with family members being overly judgmental. My family is. They care alot about appearances and stuff. I mean I still love them and they are nice people, but I think they ingrained this unrealistic idea of always looking good and not saying stupid stuff in public. They didn't allow failure. They always compared me to their friends children. And now I can't get that stuff out of my head.

Yes. My mum's overly judgmental, negatively so. Or, at least, towards me.

 

[new account]

Now teachers actually have admitted that they thought i was one day going to shoot everyone in school cause being this way is really creepy to others.. Makes me sad.

What kind of teachers would say that? If a teacher said that to me, I'd never want to go back to school. I would give up.

How is being very shy so bad? If they're teachers, they should've learned in their college training that some people are just nervous and afraid of interaction. Why don't they teach this to everyone in every school instead of allowing people to think that a nervous person kills people? The more I think about it, it makes me think that NOTHING was even taught in school about normal human behaviors. They should replace something like gym, since no child will ever lose weight from it, with a class on how to get along with different groups. Maybe if they do that, people will be more comfortable around different people, and it shouldn't explain people in a negative way. Is that a bad idea? Nothing is learned in gym except how to mock the weaker people.

 

[Griffin]

I don't think there was a trigger for it. This is just the way I have always been. I'm an only child and my mother was a single parent. She spent a lot of her time working and running a business, so I had a lot of time to get (too) used to my own company.

In school, I had people that hung around with, but it was clear that I wasn't a part of their little group. Around the time when we were 14-16, people in school were starting to go to parties, and then later on they would go for nights out in town.

I was never invited, so I guess I missed out a lot on the social aspect of growing up. Whether that's a cause or trigger or a sympton of SA, I don't know. I just know that in all the years since, nothing much has changed.

 

[market.garden]

I've always been shy, but I started to notice a bit more of a slide when I was 17-18, then University is when things got really bad. One of my biggest regrets is going to Uni, or at least the Uni I studied at. Never felt like I fitted in and I've carried that with me ever since.

 

[9407]

I've always been shy, but I think it really started when I was around 12 and I developed a lisp. I figured why talk to anyone when half the people you talk to are going to make fun of you. Thank got I don't have it anymore.

 

[Iluv]

I would say losing friends and the past experiences that triggered it.

 

[Twinkel<3]

Would have to say that one of my triggers was really judgmental friends. They were so mean and every little thing that one us said or done was dicected and critisized. I guess i was tired of always being the stupid one in the group and i started just keeping my mouth shut. From there it just got harder to speak up cos when i did people would give me odd looks since i was usually so quiet. Also i was sexually assaulted when i was around 6 years old, i think this triggered SA too. I think iv just lost all trust in people "/
lol sorry for any spelling mistakes im using my phone at the min itsa bit tricky
Twinkel xx

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

like 3, i remember company coming over for the first time and i hid in my room, accepted a toy (which a still have) then took the toy back in my room and sat in the darkness lol

 

[this_portrait]

I've always had it, really. I spent much of my primary school years with little to no friends, then once I got into middle school, I started forming closer friendships, and throughout high school I had my own little niche. My worried thoughts didn't go away, but having my own group eased them quite a bit.

Then once I got to college, you could say my SA peaked. It became a slow downward spiral, and I'm now just trying to pick myself back up again before I finish my education. It seems like whenever I had a major transition in my life, my SA got worse.

 

[Charmed]

Now teachers actually have admitted that they thought i was one day going to shoot everyone in school cause being this way is really creepy to others.. Makes me sad.

Wow, that's really insensitive. Perhaps you should try filing a complaint against the teacher(s), assuming you're still in school.