I hate people who use my anxiety to bring out there own insecurity...

[deleted #89]

Every time someone see's that I am having a hard time that person will hold on to that and try to make fun of me or " disapprove of me" . I am talking about grow ups here....this makes me even more confrontational and want to just swing my fist. WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE FUN of people who are having a hard time?
This really gets to me! In my fantasy I would take one of those person humiliated him/her and then ask her how she/he feels now. People can be so malicious and conniving when they feel that they are in a position of power. What really bothers me really bad is that I am a muscular/big guy and I could totally use aggression but in reality this would amount to nothing. Maybe not?

 

[Phoenixx]

I know what you mean. What I've noticed is that the people who do make fun of others' issues are really just troubled themselves. Teasing and holding on to the one weakness of the other person makes them feel better about themselves, like you said "in a position of power."

My cousin is exactly like this, always teasing (Definitely doesn't help that she's living with my family now). Not just making fun of my anxiety, but even just trivial things, what I watch, what I'm doing, etc. I know it's to make herself feel better because she has some problems herself. She's bipolar, struggles a bit with depression, and also a food addict. While I don't retort back and make fun of her issues (What would be the point anyway? It would then be a never ending cycle), I just take what she says and I put it in perspective for her. Depending on what she says, but usually with sentences like, "Well, technically....", "Actually....", "Why do you say that?", "How do you know/not know?" etc. etc. I then I usually go on and on explaining how it's this way and that. I use my smart mouth/wits against her, and it works. Shuts her up for a bit anyway. While it doesn't make her stop completely, I've noticed that since I started talking back she doesn't say as much to me now. Serves her right. Did I mention she's 11 years older than I am?

 

[deleted #89]

Every time someone see's that I am having a hard time that person will hold on to that and try to make fun of me or " disapprove of me" . I am talking about grow ups here....this makes me even more confrontational and want to just swing my fist. WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE FUN of people who are having a hard time?
This really gets to me! In my fantasy I would take one of those person humiliated him/her and then ask her how she/he feels now. People can be so malicious and conniving when they feel that they are in a position of power. What really bothers me really bad is that I am a muscular/big guy and I could totally use aggression but in reality this would amount to nothing. Maybe not?

I know what you mean. What I've noticed is that the people who do make fun of others' issues are really just troubled themselves. Teasing and holding on to the one weakness of the other person makes them feel better about themselves, like you said "in a position of power."

My cousin is exactly like this, always teasing (Definitely doesn't help that she's living with my family now). Not just making fun of my anxiety, but even just trivial things, what I watch, what I'm doing, etc. I know it's to make herself feel better because she has some problems herself. She's bipolar, struggles a bit with depression, and also a food addict. While I don't retort back and make fun of her issues (What would be the point anyway? It would then be a never ending cycle), I just take what she says and I put it in perspective for her. Depending on what she says, but usually with sentences like, "Well, technically....", "Actually....", "Why do you say that?", "How do you know/not know?" etc. etc. I then I usually go on and on explaining how it's this way and that. I use my smart mouth/wits against her, and it works. Shuts her up for a bit anyway. While it doesn't make her stop completely, I've noticed that since I started talking back she doesn't say as much to me now. Serves her right. Did I mention she's 11 years older than I am?

I totally get you......and you would think that " older " people would get wiser with age. WRONG! I know people twice my age who are emotionally immature...mehhhhh

 

[UnOccupied]

You should read Eckhart Tolle's, "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose."

When you realize the roll your ego plays in how you interpret other people, you will see how you are magnifying these problems onto yourself. I am not saying you have an ego problem, just saying that our ego plays games with us when we listen to it.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

ahh...
hmmm...

...human nature?
haha
All I can say is that I couldn't ever be in a situation where I don't expect to be taunted or teased about something.
It'll happen.
I feel like it's better to expect it and shrug it off, rather than to be shocked and angered once it happens.


I wouldn't hate these people, though... I'd rather feel bad for them because they obviously have something wrong with them that they feel the need to pick on you to make themselves feel better.

 

[emre43]

Just as long as you know that it is they that has the problem, not you.

To quote Alred Adler this is their problem:

"We should not be astonished if in the cases where we see an inferiority [feeling] complex we find a superiority complex more or less hidden. On the other hand, if we inquire into a superiority complex and study its continuity, we can always find a more or less hidden inferiority [feeling] complex."

"If a person is a show-off it is only because he feels inferior, because he does not feel strong enough to compete with others on the useful side of life. That is why he stays on the useless side. He is not in harmony with society. It seems to be a trait of human nature that when individuals - both children and adults - feel weak, they want to solve the problems of life in such a way as to obtain personal superiority without any admixture of social interest. A superiority complex is a second phase. It is a compensation for the inferiority [feeling] complex."

"The superiority complex is one of the ways which a person with an inferiority [feeling] complex may use as a method of escape from his difficulties. He assumes that he is superior when he is not, and this false success compensates him for the state of inferiority which he cannot bear. The normal person does not have a superiority complex, he does not even have a sense of superiority. He has the striving to be superior in the sense that we all have ambition to be successful; but so long as this striving is expressed in work it does not lead to false valuations, which are at the root of mental disease.

 

[deleted #89]

Just as long as you know that it is they that has the problem, not you.

To quote Alred Adler this is their problem:

"We should not be astonished if in the cases where we see an inferiority [feeling] complex we find a superiority complex more or less hidden. On the other hand, if we inquire into a superiority complex and study its continuity, we can always find a more or less hidden inferiority [feeling] complex."

"If a person is a show-off it is only because he feels inferior, because he does not feel strong enough to compete with others on the useful side of life. That is why he stays on the useless side. He is not in harmony with society. It seems to be a trait of human nature that when individuals - both children and adults - feel weak, they want to solve the problems of life in such a way as to obtain personal superiority without any admixture of social interest. A superiority complex is a second phase. It is a compensation for the inferiority [feeling] complex."

"The superiority complex is one of the ways which a person with an inferiority [feeling] complex may use as a method of escape from his difficulties. He assumes that he is superior when he is not, and this false success compensates him for the state of inferiority which he cannot bear. The normal person does not have a superiority complex, he does not even have a sense of superiority. He has the striving to be superior in the sense that we all have ambition to be successful; but so long as this striving is expressed in work it does not lead to false valuations, which are at the root of mental disease.

Cool thanks!