Is it just me?

[coyote]

Looks like the veteran posters have weighed in to support in each other...and gang up on the villainous antihistamine!!

anti h........get thee to a nunnery!! how do you have anything remotely resembling a mad whore complex!! You evil thing!!

Looks like this site is more politically correct than I thought!!

no one is ganging up - all viewpoints are welcome here, even if we disagree

by the way, some "good" catholic girls were the first ones to teach me alot about sex when i was a young coyote - i wonder where they learned it from?

 

[antihistamine]

I'm not ganging up on you, but these discussions can get quite personal. Treading lightly is the key. I even debated whether to post here in the first place.

I know you are not. But remember our opinions are all coloured by varying bad/good experiences with the opposite sex...and the indoctrination we received by religions.....and we are also hypnotised by the media...using sex to sell eg. MTV

 

[MikeyC]

I know you are not. But remember our opinions are all coloured by varying bad/good experiences with the opposite sex...and the indoctrination we received by religions.....and we are also hypnotised by the media...using sex to sell eg. MTV

Correct. I have my own opinions from my experiences and exposures in life, as do you. I agree that everything is sexualised in some way and that can desensitise anyone.

Oh, catholic school girls have always had a reputation, no?

Catholic school girls = girls in school uniform = I need a cold shower.

::

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Looks like the veteran posters have weighed in to support in each other...and gang up on the villainous antihistamine!!

I am not ganging up on you. I just want to express my own opinion on this topic. Sometimes our SA prevents us from doing this, so this is good practice for me.

 

[antihistamine]

no one is ganging up - all viewpoints are welcome here, even if we disagree

by the way, some "good" catholic girls were the first ones to teach me alot about sex when i was a young coyote - i wonder where they learned it from?

They learnt it from nuns!!

OK you had more success with women than I did..good for you

I heard that catholic girls used to go crazy when they arrived at college after high school....I was never the beneficiary of that by the way... maybe because I was a catholic too....

 

[MikeyC]

I just want to express my own opinion on this topic. Sometimes our SA prevents us from doing this, so this is good practice for me.

Yeah, I would certainly not discuss my sex life with some of my friends, haha!

 

[coyote]

I know you are not. But remember our opinions are all coloured by varying bad/good experiences with the opposite sex...and the indoctrination we received by religions.....and we are also hypnotised by the media...using sex to sell eg. MTV

that's why the internet and places like this are so cool

information about things like human sexuality is no longer being totally filtered by the church, state, or the people who control the mass media (or anyone else with a political agenda)

 

[Aletheia]

maybe because I was a catholic too....

Do you think religion plays a part here?

 

[Aletheia]

I ask, partly because Catholicism in particular (rightly or wrongly) has a reputation for provoking sexual guilt.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

But remember our opinions are all coloured by varying bad/good experiences with the opposite sex...and the indoctrination we received by religions.....and we are also hypnotised by the media...using sex to sell eg. MTV

Of course. My mother is the biggest prude I have ever known. It makes me wonder how she managed to get pregnant 6 times 'cause that means she had sex. I just don't see how. We were raised Catholic as well, so that is why I had screwy beliefs about sex growing up. Also, the sex education I received in high school served to only scare me further. Sex ed sucks here.

 

[antihistamine]

I know women are real victims but men can be too. I feel a victim sometimes of the various influences on my life. There is a big gap between what I should be and what I am. Religion and my family culture has taught me to have high ideals...try to be a nice guy all the time...but I just can't live up to it. The reality is, I am below average in many areas.

OK time for a break!!

 

[Aletheia]

I also ask because I'm still trying to determine why, although I'm aware of the madonna/whore dichotomy in the world at large, I've not noticed it in my relationships.

It could be due to the fact that New Zealand is comparatively secular, and my boyfriends have all been comparatively secular.

(Or it could be simple obliviousness on my part, although surely even I am not that thick.)

 

[antihistamine]

Do you think religion plays a part here?

absolutely!!

 

[coyote]

I also ask because I'm still trying to determine why, although I'm aware of the madonna/whore dichotomy in the world at large, I've not noticed it in my relationships.

It could be due to the fact that New Zealand is comparatively secular, and my boyfriends have all been comparatively secular.

(Or it could be simple obliviousness on my part, although surely even I am not that thick.)

i'm sure it comes through in other parts of the personality as well

maybe you're not attracted to men with the type of personality who would think that way

or, conversely, are attracted to men who wouldn't think that way

 

[antihistamine]

I also ask because I'm still trying to determine why, although I'm aware of the madonna/whore dichotomy in the world at large, I've not noticed it in my relationships.

It could be due to the fact that New Zealand is comparatively secular, and my boyfriends have all been comparatively secular.

(Or it could be simple obliviousness on my part, although surely even I am not that thick.)

good to hear that...and it supports what I was saying about the times are a changin'......maybe the complex is just out-dated now

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

You aren't supposed to do anything except be yourself, which you have.

I think that says more about the men than it does about you. If you can't act the way you naturally would because he will see you in an "unsavoury" light, well, that's his issue.

Yeah, it is, but I still lose. Perhaps I have chosen the wrong men. They are truly more like boys than men. Perhaps I need an older man...hmmm...I had not thought about this before.

Yeah, I would certainly not discuss my sex life with some of my friends, haha!

I can talk about sex...it is one of my favorite topics actually. It is interesting to hear what people have to say about it.

 

[coyote]

good to hear that...and it supports what I was saying about the times are a changin'......maybe the complex is just out-dated now

from what i've read on this forum - i think it's worse now among young people than it was for the last generation (mine) or the one before that

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I also ask because I'm still trying to determine why, although I'm aware of the madonna/whore dichotomy in the world at large, I've not noticed it in my relationships.

It could be due to the fact that New Zealand is comparatively secular, and my boyfriends have all been comparatively secular.

(Or it could be simple obliviousness on my part, although surely even I am not that thick.)

Perhaps it does have to do with location. I am from the United States. The puritan mentality is still going strong. Religion plays a major role too.

 

[antihistamine]

Of course. My mother is the biggest prude I have ever known. It makes me wonder how she managed to get pregnant 6 times 'cause that means she had sex. I just don't see how. We were raised Catholic as well, so that is why I had screwy beliefs about sex growing up. Also, the sex education I received in high school served to only scare me further. Sex ed sucks here.

My mother had 7 boys... no girls......she was a prude too (what a contradiction!)

 

[Aletheia]

i'm sure it comes through in other parts of the personality as well

I'm sure you're right.

I do think I was particularly lucky in my first boyfriend, and that may have set me up with certain expectations regarding what a relationship is (my best friend who I also sleep with). I've been repeating that pattern ever since.

We get drawn in to what we know: witness abused children growing up to marry abusive spouses.