Social situation exposure is making me worse!

[Hero]

I'm getting more and more depressed. I heard to treat social anxiety and to improve your social skills, you have to expose yourself to social situations to desensitize to them.

I find that I am avoiding social situations more than ever! I'm not anxious about them as such, it's my social skills that are putting me off. I find myself lost for words and pushed out of the conversations. The disinterest I receive from others when I try and talk to them really grinds me down, people begin to sleep when then hear my input in topics . I feel like no one is my wavelength. So I end spending the most of my time in silence thinking 'what am I doing wrong?' and go home hating myself.

I don't know what to do anymore. I grew up alone, I feel I will die alone also.

 

[vexatiousmind]

I have had the same experience. I go out and it ends up a disaster. Makes me want to give up.

I do not want to leave my house for anything.

I go to the deratolagist once a month and that's about it.

 

[Michel]

I have the same experience. But I have learned not to put so much pressure on myself and continue doing therapy. If the therapy is not working find something else.

 

[vexatiousmind]

yeah I take pills for depression, but they do nothing for my anxiety. I want to start therapy again, but my last therapist was alcoholic that was always late and sometimes didn't show up. Didn't exactly help. lol

 

[Nanita]

I´m really avoiding certain situations too. Especially if I have to do something, like call somebody or go to see somebody about something practical, I just keep avoiding it, putting it off. I just... can´t make myself do those things that I´m scared of...

 

[kihira]

I'm getting more and more depressed. I heard to treat social anxiety and to improve your social skills, you have to expose yourself to social situations to desensitize to them.

I find that I am avoiding social situations more than ever! I'm not anxious about them as such, it's my social skills that are putting me off. I find myself lost for words and pushed out of the conversations. The disinterest I receive from others when I try and talk to them really grinds me down, people begin to sleep when then hear my input in topics . I feel like no one is my wavelength. So I end spending the most of my time in silence thinking 'what am I doing wrong?' and go home hating myself.

I don't know what to do anymore. I grew up alone, I feel I will die alone also.

You would best doing exposure along with therapy otherwise you could just get stuck in the same mind traps. CBT teaches you to think about situations in other ways so that your mind processes them differently and doesn't trigger anxiety - then the exposure is useful in creating a memory pattern of "this is ok, I can do this"

 

[Feathers]

Have you tried reading any books?
There are some good books out there!

Maybe you've been trying to connect with the wrong people? What are your hobbies and interests? Try to find people with similar interests, and it will probably feel a whole lot different!

 

[dutchguy]

The only advice I can give is the one you probably don't want to hear; keep going.

You're getting out of your comfort zone, which is great, but it is expected that at first, your 'inner critic' is going to try to get you to go back to your old habits because they were safe.
If you think that it's going to be too much to handle, try taking smaller steps. Every tiny bit of socializing, even every failure at socializing is another tiny step towards beating your phobia. I know from experience that it's a lot harder than it sounds, but ultimately the only way to win this battle against yourself is to stand up and fight the negative thoughts.

I wish you all the best in your efforts; and remember - even if you 'relapse' for a short moment, the work you've already done will still help towards getting over your anxieties.

 

[Feathers]

That's very true. But finding the 'right' people can be very difficult. So being functional on a daily basis with people in general is still an issue. Very frustrating.

Ohh, but there is sooo much fun stuff to do in the UK-?? /is confused/

/Weren't you in Africa before?/