Beatmetrics
Well-known member
Yeah there is this one girl 
"She's out of my league"
- Thread starter bigDean636
- Start date
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
I guess it's just because I haven't liked enough people, so I feel like this whole 'league' idea is just an illusion people make up as an excuse to not bother trying.
'leagues' are separated by how 'good looking' a person is, right? -- according to movies I've seen, anyways.
I feel like any real separation might be in social classes. I've seen my mom date plenty of guys and she always said that any guys in a higher 'social class' (who make significantly more money) are in a different league. Their attitudes are different, their ideals are different, they probably grew up differently and they don't understand how it feels to have no money to do anything aside pay the bills-- and be unable to work a job that doesn't include scrubbing toilets.
I understand that... but I don't understand why people seem to think that one person who looks perfect according to mass media's beauty guidelines, can not date someone who doesn't.
Maybe I'll find out some day... if I can ever manage to like anyone.
'leagues' are separated by how 'good looking' a person is, right? -- according to movies I've seen, anyways.
I feel like any real separation might be in social classes. I've seen my mom date plenty of guys and she always said that any guys in a higher 'social class' (who make significantly more money) are in a different league. Their attitudes are different, their ideals are different, they probably grew up differently and they don't understand how it feels to have no money to do anything aside pay the bills-- and be unable to work a job that doesn't include scrubbing toilets.
I understand that... but I don't understand why people seem to think that one person who looks perfect according to mass media's beauty guidelines, can not date someone who doesn't.
Maybe I'll find out some day... if I can ever manage to like anyone.
vexatiousmind
Well-known member
I get this when a guy is very outgoing, smart, and good looking. Actually if he is just one of those I feel he is out of my league.......
Captain_Lethargy
Active member
This is me. Granted, I'm abnormally unattractive by most standards, physically, but that's hardly the end of the world...there are plenty of people in the same boat who seem perfectly happy. At least it's all just cosmetic stuff that really doesn't affect anything other than my own self esteem; if I were a stronger person, my looks wouldn't bother me so much.
However, I seem to continually fight my own desire to improve the non-physical aspects of myself to compensate. Ideally, being successful in ways that matter more than appearance would translate into me being more confident in my appearance (whether or not that confidence is misplaced is irrelevant) and therefore make me more attractive. Until I can do that, though, there's really no logical reason for anyone I would be interested to be interested in me, period. Why would she settle, if she were perfectly capable of doing better? Currently, I feel like a failure on all fronts-or at least the ones that matter-and any relationship is pretty much out of the question.
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userremoved
Guest
I dont feel inferior to everyone but lets be honest, some people you're not going to get with unless you meet specific appearance requirements. Of course not everyone is this way but I highly doubt I could get any woman I wanted off of confidence alone. So yes, some are out of my league.
Mickery
Well-known member
I read about this back when I was considering psychotherapy as a career. Generally people will seek partners at or above their own "level". Why wouldn't they, right? Everybody wants the best for themselves.
That doesn't make it iron cast, it's just the way of things. Just like men don't necessarily set rules to go for someone young and pretty and women don't necessarily set rules to go for someone older and wealthy. But as a broad trend, that's how it turns out.
Love transcends and all that, but love rarely happens until the basics are already known. Except on the Internet.
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
I don't think people do think that, do they? Perhaps I've misunderstood what you're asking.
MrJones
Well-known member
Not everyone, but some people do that.
HeadFace
Well-known member
Actually it's a lot of people. Admitedly, I've done this a few time.
It's mostly because some people think looks will get them anything they want. So, somtimes really attractive people get a lot of attention. And then start getting the wrong ideals.
Like looks are everything, high standards, etc.
Of course those are only the idiots of society. I'm not generalizing every extremely attractive person as a whole. I'm mostly just speaking through experience.
Oh not that I used to be like that. I mean I know a **** load of people who are like that.
Captain_Lethargy
Active member
I don't think I feel that way. I sometimes wonder if I'm the shallow one, for wanting to date someone I'm attracted to. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous-why would you date someone you aren't attracted to? In my case, though, I don't know if I'm capable of being in a relationship with someone I WOULD be attracted to. It's like the Groucho Marx quote of not wanting to be part of "a club that will have me as a member"-I think it all comes down to me not wanting to find an equally unattractive partner, which seems incredibly shallow to me.
For the average person, I don't think my standards of attractiveness would be that high-I find many different women attractive (physically), and most women my age are reasonably attractive (physically)...in terms of non-physical stuff, my standards are much "higher" (but I'm okay with that). However, given that I'm abnormally unattractive (physically...and in some ways, mentally, as this whole post sort of indicates), I don't know if I can afford to have the same standards of attractiveness as the average man. It's like I expect a reasonably attractive woman to "settle" for me, but I'm unwilling to do the same with a woman as unattractive (physically) as I am.
This line of thinking has led to me wasting time trying to figure out what a woman in my "league" (looks-wise), even though I realize that's a completely stupid thing to think about. Human beings can't be categorized like that. I guess I'm in this uncomfortable place where I know I can't really "afford" to have a relationship, given that so many aspects of myself are lacking, but I still want one, so I end up speculating about "what ifs" in unhealthy ways.
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MrJones
Well-known member
:
: Sadly, me too. That's why I asked.
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
According a Hollywood couples theory-- the cutest children (who will grow up to be abnormally attractive adults) come from one highly attractive parent and one not very attractive parent.
Mickery
Well-known member
It sounds like too much theory, not enough practical. So much about meeting people and relationships and dating is completely unpredictable. If you look for something specific and try to plan ahead, you're doomed to failure as it emphatically doesn't happen the way it's supposed to. Nobody's perfect and the people you eventually end up with are unlikely to tick every box they're supposed to.
Captain_Lethargy
Active member
I agree, and that's excellent advice! I guess I theorize because that's all I'm capable of doing at the moment.
I think the answer-that I need to focus on fixing myself before trying to enter a relationship-is staring me in the face, but I tend to ignore it because I want to be in a relationship so very much.
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userremoved
Guest
Abnormally attractive, I'm gonna start using that from now on lol.
Beatmetrics
Well-known member
That just sounds purely sexy.
da_illest101
Well-known member
I admit it never crossed my mind to think that a girl was out of my league. I only realised that the * better looking ones* has, 98% of time, nothing in common with me