My life is empty

[HeadFace]

Yeup. I hate it.
I havent done anything productive in a long time. My days are filled with just... Staying on the computer. Playing games. Sometimes walks, which is good... But mostly emptiness. Most of the time I dont even feel like doing anything and just take a nap.
I've heard someone say that if it's "nothingness" that you enjoy then go do that.
But it just depresses me and bores me.
Not the leading reason for my depression. Maybe an aftereffect or something.
And at the end of the day, when I go back into bed, I HATE myself, and get completely depressed about how I've done nothing all day, and just feel like a bum. I'm mostly lonely, except for 1 - 4 people that I talk to over the internet.

Right now I want to change that over the summer... I dont know though. I want to learn to play the piano/keyboard. And I've heard that working out makes you less depressed (stimulants.. body.. some crap I dont remember)
Is anyone else struggling with this? I'd think it would be quite a problem but I dont know anyway personally who has the same problem as me.

 

[Patrick26]

Go do the things you like to do or intrest you but START SMALL!!!! i can't stress that enough. I used to wanna make videos once i saw cool ones and jumped right into the top end stuff many times...HUGE mistake. Make small goals, work your way up. If you see something cool and wanna jump right in and it's something very complicated you wont last, you just went for the eye candy figuring it was gonna be easy. I know how you feel, i have that problem all the time. If you want something to do in the summer time, i definatly say start going to the gym, but like i said, start small. If you wanna learn to play music aswell then go for it. What else do you like or want to do?

 

[HeadFace]

Go do the things you like to do or intrest you but START SMALL!!!! i can't stress that enough. I used to wanna make videos once i saw cool ones and jumped right into the top end stuff many times...HUGE mistake. Make small goals, work your way up. If you see something cool and wanna jump right in and it's something very complicated you wont last, you just went for the eye candy figuring it was gonna be easy. I know how you feel, i have that problem all the time. If you want something to do in the summer time, i definatly say start going to the gym, but like i said, start small. If you wanna learn to play music aswell then go for it. What else do you like or want to do?

In terms of productive hobbies?
... Not much I can think of. I used to like art but I dont even know what happened to that. I cant draw to save my life nowadays.

 

[deadend]

Yep. My childhood was spent doing the very things you describe. 25 years old and I still find myself doing the same **** in my free time.

I'm going to take a not-so-wild guess and say that most of us on this forum have similar history. We're social phobics, it's what we do.

The thing is, you either learn to accept it or you challenge yourself - which entails placing yourself in uncomfortable situations. Personally, I don't have any real desire to do much in the first place, so I opt to accept it as part of who I am.

Some folks just don't need a ton of stimulation. Many sit around and do what we do anyways these days, so don't beat yourself up too much.

You could always get a job or volunteer, if you don't already. The getting a job part is easier said than done, of course.

 

[dyingtolive]

i agree, try working out. even if ever u dont like the idea of going to the gym, theres a lot u can do with just home equipment

 

[deadend]

i agree, try working out. even if ever u dont like the idea of going to the gym, theres a lot u can do with just home equipment

I used to run on a regular basis. It gets you out of the house, which is a nice change of scenery, but it never really helped me with depression. There were times even in the middle of a run where I felt so sh***y that I just stopped and stood/sat there for a bit.

 

[Patrick26]

In terms of productive hobbies?
... Not much I can think of. I used to like art but I dont even know what happened to that. I cant draw to save my life nowadays.

Try different things out. Maybe make a small list of say 2 things a week to try out and see if you like it. Don't give up if you don't like it right away, sometimes things take time to get used to and then you'll know if it's for you or not. You say you can't draw to save your life now but drawing is not about how your drawings look. I'll give you an example of a list to try. But just start small, and it can be anythin and it's your choice to follow the list, make your own list up if you want. Even if you don't think you'll like it just because you think it would be boring, you never know...you could actually like it!

Drawing
Gym
Carving
Woodworking
Swimming
Volunteer work
Charity
Bird Watching
Nature Walks
Bike Riding
Running
Walking
Dancing
Rock Climbing
Talk to as many woman as you can in say 1 hour, and then try to keep advancing
Music
Painting your feelings


Do anything except sit on your butt unless it involves an activity of your choice. Some things may take longer then a week if you don't know how to do them. Like i can't dance so it would take me longer.

 

[HeadFace]

Yep. My childhood was spent doing the very things you describe. 25 years old and I still find myself doing the same **** in my free time.

I'm going to take a not-so-wild guess and say that most of us on this forum have similar history. We're social phobics, it's what we do.

The thing is, you either learn to accept it or you challenge yourself - which entails placing yourself in uncomfortable situations. Personally, I don't have any real desire to do much in the first place, so I opt to accept it as part of who I am.

Some folks just don't need a ton of stimulation. Many sit around and do what we do anyways these days, so don't beat yourself up too much.

You could always get a job or volunteer, if you don't already. The getting a job part is easier said than done, of course.

I don't know... I mean true, most social phobics are introverts. But they still have a lot of hobbies to fill their life/free time.
Yeah.. You're right. I don't need a ton of stimulation, but lately I havent been getting enough for my already low expectations...
And oh yeah. A job. I forgot those existed. I promised myself I was going to get one before I hit 18. I'm 17 now, and havent even started searching.

 

[HeadFace]

I used to run on a regular basis. It gets you out of the house, which is a nice change of scenery, but it never really helped me with depression. There were times even in the middle of a run where I felt so sh***y that I just stopped and stood/sat there for a bit.

Actually I can identify with that. When I go for walks, sometimes I just slow down a bit because of how ****ty I feel, and how depressed I actually am. And then I start remembering why I'm depressed, and different people and then mixed emotions... :\

Try different things out. Maybe make a small list of say 2 things a week to try out and see if you like it. Don't give up if you don't like it right away, sometimes things take time to get used to and then you'll know if it's for you or not. You say you can't draw to save your life now but drawing is not about how your drawings look. I'll give you an example of a list to try. But just start small, and it can be anythin and it's your choice to follow the list, make your own list up if you want. Even if you don't think you'll like it just because you think it would be boring, you never know...you could actually like it!

Drawing
Gym
Carving
Woodworking
Swimming
Volunteer work
Charity
Bird Watching
Nature Walks
Bike Riding
Running
Walking
Dancing
Rock Climbing
Talk to as many woman as you can in say 1 hour, and then try to keep advancing
Music
Painting your feelings


Do anything except sit on your butt unless it involves an activity of your choice. Some things may take longer then a week if you don't know how to do them. Like i can't dance so it would take me longer.

That's a great idea actually. I will make a list soon. Probably using quite a few of the choices you gave me.

 

[deadend]

And oh yeah. A job. I forgot those existed. I promised myself I was going to get one before I hit 18. I'm 17 now, and havent even started searching.

Job market is crap right now. But take advantage of the fact that you're young. Plenty of places will hire for part-time, low wage work. McJob maybe. Stock shelves at a department store. Wash dishes. That way you'll have some money to get that keyboard. Or better yet, save it - chances are you'll need that money later down the road. We all do.

 

[Patrick26]

Job market is crap right now. But take advantage of the fact that you're young. Plenty of places will hire for part-time, low wage work. McJob maybe. Stock shelves at a department store. Wash dishes. That way you'll have some money to get that keyboard. Or better yet, save it - chances are you'll need that money later down the road. We all do.

Save it for the car fund. That reminds me of another activity for the list. Get a part time job, go buy a cheap beat up car and go search online how to fix cars up. Fix that bad boy up, then sell it for more then you bought it for, and you just learned how to fix up a car. It would take a while but knowledge is power, and if there is 1 thing i wish it was a thirst for knowledge because i LOVE to learn about new things, as many things as i can, but my brain wont allow it sadly.

 

[Patrick26]

That's a great idea actually. I will make a list soon. Probably using quite a few of the choices you gave me.

Well, even if you decide against it you should still write it down on paper, you never know what the future has in store for you. You could then want to learn everything, and the list you made in the past will help you out.

 

[HeadFace]

Well, even if you decide against it you should still write it down on paper, you never know what the future has in store for you. You could then want to learn everything, and the list you made in the past will help you out.

Hey I never said I was against it. In fact that car deal you were talking about was pretty good. But really, I just want to get out of this house for now. I'll have to start little by little of course...

 

[Nanita]

My life is empty too. I sometimes get all desperate and start thinking "Wow I didn´t go anywhere for 3 days... I don´t have friends anymore... maybe I do but we rarely talk... Nobody would notice or care if I died.... I don´t have anything to live for" etcetera etcetera.
I really want to start doing mosaic art because I love getting lost in creating stuff like that. But I don´t have anywhere to do it... And I´m nervous to go to a store to but the things I need.....
I also really want to do good things for others or maybe volunteer at a place for lost animals...
But PEOPLE are everywhere and I´m afraid to pick up the phone and call someone to arrange something, or go somewhere and having to TALK to people and be looked at and asked questions. If I could just go somewhere, without having to communicate with people, I would start doing stuff and go home some hours later, that would be ideal.....

 

[Feathers]

Well, internet addiction can be a real problem, there's info online about it.

For some people, it works that they just set up 'hours' (like a school schedule) or better yet make plans with other people so you HAVE to do that!! (eg go for a walk/jog even if you don't wanna..)
Some people have 'unplug' days when they do RL stuff...

Some great ideas in the thread already, I second trying to find a part-time job through the summer! (And saving money for stuff..)

Nanita, volunteering is great!! Those doggies can get so lonely and ARE soo HAPPY when someone takes'em for a walk!!

Even if you've been afraid of people, just think of it as 'exposure therapy'?
And if you don't want to talk to someone for longer, just say hi and say 'I'm in a rush' and get out of there (with a doggie on a leash)?
(You don't have to talk to doggies )

And maybe if you meet a few nice people, maybe they can have info of a place where you could do art, or might even offer you some space or such? (Some shops have workshops too, and you could ask other people there or the artist presenting the workshop where they do art...?) Some places have 'artist organisations' or 'artsy clubs' where people meet up and create together in an old school or 'community studio' or such..? Some workshops can maybe happen on church premises or such too.. Not sure how it is during the summer & I don't know what it's like in your country but you could check?

 

[Nanita]

Nanita, volunteering is great!! Those doggies can get so lonely and ARE soo HAPPY when someone takes'em for a walk!!

Even if you've been afraid of people, just think of it as 'exposure therapy'?
And if you don't want to talk to someone for longer, just say hi and say 'I'm in a rush' and get out of there (with a doggie on a leash)?
(You don't have to talk to doggies )

Maybe I will get around to do it.... It would really help if I had someone to go with the first times... Yeah, I don´t have to talk to animals, that´s why I think they are great company..... But human is a weird race! Always staring at me and talking!

About the art activities.... Good ideas but way too much socializing...
I will just get materials and do the stuff in my house then!

Thanks

 

[Phoenixx]

I sometimes have days like this too, just staying on the computer or playing games all day. Those days also make me depressed because it's just a reminder of how lazy I can be. My summers tend to be like that, but I'm planning on changing that this year. Don't really have a choice anyway since I have college to prepare for.

Anyway, how about trying something new? I'd say definitely take up teaching yourself how to play piano. I tried that once, didn't work out for me so well though. It's just something I'm not good at, but I wish I was.

Do you like cooking? You could teach yourself how to cook, or bake, or both. Reading is always good to pass the time, unless it's not your thing... If you just want to get out of the house, maybe you can take up some volunteering. SPCAs and animal shelters are always really nice to volunteer for since you don't always deal with that many people. You could try getting a part time job, but I've always had horrible luck where I live trying to get one. Right now, I'm just working for a relative, and it's not even every day. Just once a week. I apologize if these options aren't of much help to you.

 

[HeadFace]

My life is empty too. I sometimes get all desperate and start thinking "Wow I didn´t go anywhere for 3 days... I don´t have friends anymore... maybe I do but we rarely talk... Nobody would notice or care if I died.... I don´t have anything to live for" etcetera etcetera.
I really want to start doing mosaic art because I love getting lost in creating stuff like that. But I don´t have anywhere to do it... And I´m nervous to go to a store to but the things I need.....
I also really want to do good things for others or maybe volunteer at a place for lost animals...
But PEOPLE are everywhere and I´m afraid to pick up the phone and call someone to arrange something, or go somewhere and having to TALK to people and be looked at and asked questions. If I could just go somewhere, without having to communicate with people, I would start doing stuff and go home some hours later, that would be ideal.....

Yeah, that's how I feel. At the end of Sundays, I'm usually all like "Hmm... So ever since I got home on friday, I havent actually gone anywhere"
And yes, I hate being the one to (attempt to) make plans. My plans are rejected about 95% of the time. And now I'm way too scared to invite someone to hang out, because I'm afraid that I'm going to scare them off by coming off as clingy.

I sometimes have days like this too, just staying on the computer or playing games all day. Those days also make me depressed because it's just a reminder of how lazy I can be. My summers tend to be like that, but I'm planning on changing that this year. Don't really have a choice anyway since I have college to prepare for.

Anyway, how about trying something new? I'd say definitely take up teaching yourself how to play piano. I tried that once, didn't work out for me so well though. It's just something I'm not good at, but I wish I was.

Do you like cooking? You could teach yourself how to cook, or bake, or both. Reading is always good to pass the time, unless it's not your thing... If you just want to get out of the house, maybe you can take up some volunteering. SPCAs and animal shelters are always really nice to volunteer for since you don't always deal with that many people. You could try getting a part time job, but I've always had horrible luck where I live trying to get one. Right now, I'm just working for a relative, and it's not even every day. Just once a week. I apologize if these options aren't of much help to you.

Yeah... I'm not sure if it's actually depressing me, but more of that it doesnt distract me enough from my depression. And it's been going on for way too long.

And I keep attempting to. Sometimes I'll just sit and say "godammit, I need to find something new to do" but then immidietally block it out by thinking "There's not much else to do other than this."
But I am... Going to try to change that this summer, somehow.

 

[Leticia]

Well I feel the same about my life. I don't do anything good, cool, useful or something I like. I sit all day (when I'm not in class) in front of my laptop, hoping life will change. I know it won't but...I'm so not in the mood to try to change it.
My friends and parents tell me to do something I really like, or go for a walk. I HATE WHEN THEY DO IT. Really...If I don't do what I like it's just because I don't feel like doing it! I'm not trying to torture myself or anything avoiding the things I like (Oh no...I really wanna do ____ but I won't do cuz I like to suffer...) If there were something really cool to do I would PROBABLY be happy, not depressed.

 

[Phoenixx]

Yeah, that's how I feel. At the end of Sundays, I'm usually all like "Hmm... So ever since I got home on friday, I havent actually gone anywhere"
And yes, I hate being the one to (attempt to) make plans. My plans are rejected about 95% of the time. And now I'm way too scared to invite someone to hang out, because I'm afraid that I'm going to scare them off by coming off as clingy.

Yeah... I'm not sure if it's actually depressing me, but more of that it doesnt distract me enough from my depression. And it's been going on for way too long.

And I keep attempting to. Sometimes I'll just sit and say "godammit, I need to find something new to do" but then immidietally block it out by thinking "There's not much else to do other than this."
But I am... Going to try to change that this summer, somehow.

^ Well, I wish you luck. And also, nice avatar! I believe that is from The Wind Waker? I loved that game, never even completed though. Got so close...