Too scared to try things

[theslowesthand]

Am thinking again about WHY it is that I have this kind of "TERROR" of trying out anything new/diifferent in life. Okay, so I have long-ago accepted that such is the case. But now I just CURIOUS as to the WHY part of it. Perhaps knowing that could help me in some way, perhaps not.

Here are my current ideas:
a) My PARENTS have made me "TERRIFIED" to make ANY mistakes/wrong . of trying anything new). Due to their major overreactions to ANYTHING "wrong" I have ever done.
b) Society/public. Their "methods" are probably equally as damaging, but Joe A*hole Public is more into ruling via humiliating/enraging/ridiculing/etc.

In both cases, it's "Rule/Supress/Repress by Fear". It's most likely not deliberate, just probably people's defence mechanisms, or sth like that.

So I guess it's no wonder really that I won't allow myself to "do" anything in life. That's MY defence mechanism. With all defense mechanisms, there is a reason - to ward off attack/harm, real or perceived (or imagined). So that's that I guess.

 

[Luke1993]

So what sort of things do you want to try, but are too scared to try?

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Avoidance is the "medicine" we prescribe ourselves short term to deal with situations we're too scared to do. But it's a bad pill, it makes things worse long-term as doesn't deal with the fears.

The WHY is easy to understand. Well maybe not "Easy" but you can learn and be aware of yourself and your mode of being. DOING something is the hard part.

As GI Joes say, "Knowing is half the battle!"

 

[Feathers]

Yup, many people have a fear of doing things - me too..

Remember everything worth doing well is worth doing badly too!!

((hugs))

 

[Aussie_Lad]

Never, never give up. You have become aware that your brain has become conditioned to be fearful of new situations, that is the first step towards overcoming the problem. You now need to work out how you can re-program your brain so new activities won't bother you so much, and may even become pleasurable. One thing you could try, is start doing new things that don't require too much effort on your behalf. You don't have to like them or continue doing them, it's just a matter of trying a few small things that put you out of your comfort zone. More often than not, the experience won't be as bad as you first thought. Do this enough, and your brain will be forced to change itself to suit it's environment.

 

[scoobycrawler]

most new things aren't worth trying just find what you already liked and do that since its not scary cause i don't like how fear feels its unpleasant.

 

[MyLegacy]

You sound just like me. I was so emotionally abused as a child, so constantly ridiculed, that I was terrified to do anything new! I was always afraid of looking like a fool. It wasn't until I had a life completely seperate from my family, that I began to overcome some of my fears. I am in recovery, so I verygradually overcame my fear of speaking in public, by talking at meetings. Once I had a few people tell me they liked what I said, or that I sounded good, I realized that I wasn't a horrible public speaker, but that my family were just flat-out insulting. My confidence grew awayfrom them, until I became sure enough of myself to stop letting what they said hurt so much. It still hurts,though, so I symply don't share everything with them.

 

[Richey]

Am thinking again about WHY it is that I have this kind of "TERROR" of trying out anything new/diifferent in life. Okay, so I have long-ago accepted that such is the case. But now I just CURIOUS as to the WHY part of it. Perhaps knowing that could help me in some way, perhaps not.

Here are my current ideas:
a) My PARENTS have made me "TERRIFIED" to make ANY mistakes/wrong . of trying anything new). Due to their major overreactions to ANYTHING "wrong" I have ever done.
b) Society/public. Their "methods" are probably equally as damaging, but Joe A*hole Public is more into ruling via humiliating/enraging/ridiculing/etc.

In both cases, it's "Rule/Supress/Repress by Fear". It's most likely not deliberate, just probably people's defence mechanisms, or sth like that.

So I guess it's no wonder really that I won't allow myself to "do" anything in life. That's MY defence mechanism. With all defense mechanisms, there is a reason - to ward off attack/harm, real or perceived (or imagined). So that's that I guess.

you pretty much described my upbringing right there, and it looks like we both have ended up with this SA crap. I know some confident people who just had a happy and more care free upbringing and the difference is huge.

yeah, ok, i'm glad i can have some common sense but i'm terrified of trying things because i don't have the belief in me because from a young age i've been trained that you either do something and do it 100% perfect or you don't try at all, i was never told just to try things and not to worry how i go, every mistake i made was followed with hours of condescending lectures.

unfortunately i now seem to have developed paranoia, intense fear at work to take risks, making friends? even initiating a conversation with light fun conversation is a battle. girlfriend? there have been times where i had opportunities but never actually asked if they wanted to go out, this is all ruining my life and my twenties. from a young age i knew i had musical talent, bout instruments but because of having no belief i never stuck to it.

have you seen the king's speech?