self image issues?

[Jodie-Tyler]

Does anyone on here just hate they way look. Doesnt matter what age, we all still have insecurities.
But the thing I want to ask is,
Do you hate the way you look so much that you dont go out?

The question I'm asking is well, if you already hate what mother nature gave you, does the smallest 'new' flaw just make you want to end it.

eg: If you're a teen, and hate your appearance, and then later on in life you get typical teenage acne/bad skin. Does this send you over the top, do you think the problems just keep piling on?

I want to know if anyone has that much self lothe that they just spiral into a depression when things dont get any better?

The reason I ask, if because I'm currently experiencing that depression. And I know suicide is a bit drastic for just simple not liking the way you look, but what are you meant to do when you're only option is to wait for your appearance to get better, and how does one cope in the mean time?

It's hard to put into words what I'm wondering, but I hope it's slightly clear.
xx Jodie

 

[Graeme1988]

Does anyone on here just hate they way look. Doesnt matter what age, we all still have insecurities.
But the thing I want to ask is,
Do you hate the way you look so much that you dont go out?

I do, sadly. I'm incredibly insecure about my appearance. Then again, I'm always quick to compare myself with other people, which is wrong. And doesn't help things.

I want to know if anyone has that much self lothe that they just spiral into a depression when things dont get any better?

Yeah, that's been happening to me lately. So you're not alone there.

 

[systemanic]

Do you hate the way you look so much that you dont go out?

Years ago, in my teens and later, that was probably the main reason I never went out. But then it became a "lifestyle habit", as it still is for me today (that is, I don't hate my looks like I did back then, but still I never go out)

The question I'm asking is well, if you already hate what mother nature gave you, does the smallest 'new' flaw just make you want to end it.
eg: If you're a teen, and hate your appearance, and then later on in life you get typical teenage acne/bad skin. Does this send you over the top, do you think the problems just keep piling on?
I want to know if anyone has that much self lothe that they just spiral into a depression when things dont get any better?

It is unfortunately very possible. "The straw that broke the camel's back". You need to try to fill your mind with more of the positives, and less of the negatives. But mainly, just don't focus on the negatives, as that leads you down the road to "insanity", which you don't want. It's really all in the mind. The mind can overcome anything.
For some unknown reason I never became "majorly" depressed due to my looks - only just temporary minor depression (ie a grumpy mood), at worst. Maybe it was due to having so many other problems as well (and each one taking a portion of my attention, so that I was seldom just focussed on just one problem). Or maybe because I was always simply too busy to spare much time fretting over my problems.

what are you meant to do when you're only option is to wait for your appearance to get better

You wait. And/or maybe you seek ways to alter your mindset. And/or if possible you seek ways to minimize your (bodily) negatives, and maximize your positives (eg through better-suited clothes or style, better posture, better mental attitude)

and how does one cope in the mean time?

You try to keep your mind right off of this "problem" (as it's "all-bad", just pure frustration, so why keep thinking about it?), while you carry on trying living your life.

 

[Streifen]

I don't really like my face and tend to yo-yo in weight depending on how depressed I get sometimes, but I can do well if I just put any idea about my looks out of my head. Being out and about, I feel hesitant to look in any mirrors or reflective surfaces because I don't want it to shatter my temporary confidence in being out and also I don't like to look at pictures of myself.

 

[Social_Monstrosity]

Yes I'm insanely insecure with my appearance, even if I try my hardest to look nice I'm still not happy with my gross looking body and face.

 

[BleedTheFreak]

I'm not happy with my face at all and obsess over my looks way too much. I get into moods where I'm comparing myself to everyone I see and just having my thoughts consumed with my appearance. What I've realized is that if you look into the mirror long enough you're bound to find things you don't like about yourself. Obviously things like acne and weight can be addressed and worked on, but ultimately you just have to do the best with what you've got. The best advice is what someone else said: Try to occupy your time with other things. Focus on school/work, hobbies, and doing things that make you happy.

 

[Feathers]

Jodie and others - look into BDD: body dismorphic disorder - there are some threads on this forum (in OCD sub-forum and elsewhere) and some good info and books online!
You're very goodlooking on the photos, unfortunately many goodlooking people have this problem.. Some are on this site too..

You see it as a big 'flaw' while others may not even notice it if you don't tell'em!!
I was very miserable with my appearance as a teen, learnt to accept it better later...

It's also helpful to look at other people sometimes, see they are not perfect either, still experiencing good things in life, people like'em etc.

As for acne/skin problems or such, RELAX time and better nutrition can do wonders.. Also chammomile tea is good for the skin... So what you can change, change - what you can't, divert attention - to something else..
Fashion or certain hairstyles etc can sometimes be helpful - or just talk and distract people with what you say haha..

You are much more than how you look.

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

Yeah, that's been happening to me lately. So you're not alone there.

Oh that really helps I feel so alone feeling like this. It's comforting to know there's someone going through something similar. Even if they're not in my life.
I have no one in my life that can understand this level of self loathe. So it's really hard to establish any kind of comfort in almost all situations.

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

Being out and about, I feel hesitant to look in any mirrors or reflective surfaces because I don't want it to shatter my temporary confidence in being out and also I don't like to look at pictures of myself.

I do the exact same thing. Good to hear I'm not alone.

 

[DespairSoul]

Hello Jodie,

Well, this is one of my main issues about self-image, i dislike how i look i can say even i hate how i look, and i dont know how to cope with it, start it by my teen and is with out ending. I see only flaws on me and i dont know how stop this obssesive war with myself. I wish i could forgot about it and move on. I feel trapped in my own body and i dont know how to feel free and happy with way how i look. If people will tell me opposite i will anyway dont believe them. Is influenting me so much that i really dont go out, yes i can say if i will be happy with the way how i look i will be feeling more confident and will be able go more out propably, but im scared that people will critic me and smile, and have some silly comments wich will hurts me for couple months/years and i will be depressed and crying.

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

You're very goodlooking on the photos, unfortunately many goodlooking people have this problem.. Some are on this site too..

I'm obviously not going to put photos of myself where I look ugly on my profile page. I probably should have stated before, that my hatred for my looks is solely my skin. I despise it, and the photos of my on my profile page are photo shopped to give me flawless looking skin. Not to sounds rude.
Also, I'm not one of those good looking people who thinks she isn't. When I have make-up freshly on, I like how I look, but I will not go anywhere that has a chance of exposing my skin.

As for acne/skin problems or such, RELAX time and better nutrition can do wonders.. Also chammomile tea is good for the skin... So what you can change, change.

I do plan to change my skin, I plan to have cosmetic surgery soon as I turn 18. (You have to be 18+ to have cosmetic surgery in the UK) And this is something I've wanted, saved up for, and researched for years.
However, I can't cope with the crippling anxiety attacks and SP that overwelms me.

 

[DanFC]

I'm obviously not going to put photos of myself where I look ugly on my profile page. I probably should have stated before, that my hatred for my looks is solely my skin. I despise it, and the photos of my on my profile page are photo shopped to give me flawless looking skin. Not to sounds rude.
Also, I'm not one of those good looking people who thinks she isn't. When I have make-up freshly on, I like how I look, but I will not go anywhere that has a chance of exposing my skin.



I do plan to change my skin, I plan to have cosmetic surgery soon as I turn 18. (You have to be 18+ to have cosmetic surgery in the UK) And this is something I've wanted, saved up for, and researched for years.
However, I can't cope with the crippling anxiety attacks and SP that overwelms me.

I'm getting cosmetic surgery too, as soon as I get the f'in money, which could be years XD

But yeah, my self-image issues are very real. Even if I had BDD (doubt it), everyone who knows me would agree it's justified XD If you can point out a multitude of specific and real physical flaws about yourself, then I think your subjective perception of yourself has a solid objective founding. And I'm a guy, so no makeup for me...

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

I'm getting cosmetic surgery too, as soon as I get the f'in money, which could be years XD

But yeah, my self-image issues are very real. Even if I had BDD (doubt it), everyone who knows me would agree it's justified XD If you can point out a multitude of specific and real physical flaws about yourself, then I think your subjective perception of yourself has a solid objective founding. And I'm a guy, so no makeup for me...

I agree. 100% I don't think my self image issues are irrational. Luckily for me, I plan to get laser treatment, so isn't called 'surgery' but you have to go to a cosmetic clinic/surgery to get it done. Only costs about £200, however you have to go every week for 6 weeks, which with SP will be hard.

I've always sympathised with men who have dont like the way the look, facial wise, because as you said, you cant use make-up, although, a little concealer is never been frowned upon. I had a male friend who used foundation to cover acute acne, and it worked, and u never knew he was wearing a little bit of make-up. However, us having SP, I don't get out much, I assume you dont too?
So avoiding people makes it a little easier.

Thank you for input
Much appreciated.
xJ

 

[Phoenixx]

I have self image issues too, but they're not totally the reason why I don't go out. Actually I'd say it's a combination of both self image and social phobia issues that keeps me from going out.

I don't totally hate the way I look. Like, I'm comfortable with my body, it's my facial features that I hate.

 

[GoBlue72]

My appearance never kept me from going out, but I have never been comfortable in my own skin. I got teased over little things(having curly hair, an odd nose) in school, and maybe that's had long lasting effects. I've never liked my smile, and get uncomfortable looking at photos of myself. In the mirror, I usually dwell on the negatives. So, no you are definitely not alone. And know also that depending on the day, what I'm wearing or something else can have me thinking "I look good today". Feedback from close friends or family can help to see if there truly is an issue or it's simply you're mind playing tricks. I just saw recently someone mention a similar topic, and another person suggested googling "disfigured people" and checking out the images. That shocked me back into reality!

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

Thank you for all your input