It annoys me to no end that nobody really takes our illnesses seriously.

[Social_Monstrosity]

I had to go to a family get-together last weekend -shudders- and I ran into my cousin and somehow we ended up talking about mental illnesses and the like. Eventually we got to depression and anxiety and he basically said that people with anxiety and depression just cannot cope with reality like normal people. That they can't seem to grasp the concept that s*** happens in life and you can either deal with it and move on or dwell in sorrow and self-pity while wondering why everyone around them doesn't feel the same way.

I was infuriated and had to leave...UGH. How can some people think this way? And the worst part is that he's a license pharmacist.

 

[BlueDays]

It is sad that your cousin has such a closed mind.::
I get very aggravated by people who believe something does not exist just because they do not understand it.
Sadly there seem to be many people who either can't, or don't want to gain any understanding of mental health issues. I have learnt to distance myself from these people asap.

 

[deleted user 1]

Like I said before, the majority of people, in my opinion, don't care about anything they don't have to deal with. If it's not a problem for them, then they cannot fathom the empathy to look at things from another perspective. However, once it becomes an issue for them, then it's the end of the world. This is the very reason why I never talk to anyone about anything, much less SA, and why I encountered the selfish animals that I did yesterday. Just remember that these people are the ones that live in a bubble, we are far more perceptive and display a wider range of understanding than them. It's his loss for being so very stupid. If you'll excuse me, I have rice crispies to tend to ^_^

 

[Ignace]

It says more about him than us.

 

[tiscircle]

Nice family get together. I suppose it must be enjoyable.

 

[Snowdrop]

I understand what you mean. It annoys me too I know they don't mean to offend you but sometimes I wish people knew just how badly we can feel, suffering social phobia. I have severe social phobia. The first time I revealed how depressed and anxious I was feeling to my family my brother sympathised at first but then he eventually grew tired and said that he has a lot of problems too like university work etc. I get angry because in NO way are university anxieties any where CLOSE to how terrible SP can feel.
I try not to let that get me down though it is hard.

 

[Feathers]

Okay, you can ask him if he's selling ****e, then?

Or how does he explain the huge amount of earnings on pills big pharmacy companies sell to people??

Of course with healthy life and prevention programs and CBT and such many of these could be avoided... as well as other 'real' diseases and illnesses and conditions.. like arthritis or rheumatism which can be avoided with healthy living and nutrition. Does he believe in arthritis then?

It would be interesting to get his opinion of such things.. maybe he's just disillusioned in his own business? Or maybe it could be eye-opening for him too..

Is he a Libra? My Dad only believes in 'laziness' and such too, though he's had anxiety and even some mild SA before too..

 

[BlackPuma]

While I agree that dwelling in self pity and sorrow is not a good thing in our case, in many cases it is simply not that easy to turn around. It's definitively not impossible, but it does take time and effort on our part. It can't simple be ''dealt'' with, as in just ignoring the problem itself.

The ''crap happens, so deal with it'' mentality is drastically oversimplified. Sure, bad things happen and must be dealt with accordingly, but just semi-ignoring the problem- and the emotions is summons can't be good for mental health either. That's a form of denial, if I'm not mistaken (?). I did that through my early teen years, and I have to say I'd rather be (over)sensitive then go back to the ''just deal with it'' frame of mind again.

And besides, unless he actually experienced depression and/or social phobia for an extended period of time, his statements are nothing more then irresponsible assumptions. It's like judging how a car drives by watching it.

Don't mind him. Because he obviously doesn't know what he's talking about.

 

[Hastings & Main]

"Oh, you're just shy."

"Cheer up!"

"Get over it."

I wanna call these the three mantras of the unbelieving. It'd be interesting if you could run into your cousin again, casually bring up the convo & ask what Feathers suggested above!

If the illness isn't visible it can get sloughed off too easily. A friend of mine is slowly deteriorating from fibromyalgia (nervous system disease), and she's had two doctors say on two ocassions, "It's all in your head." and "You're just lazy."

 

[LovelyAmor]

Is he a Libra? My Dad only believes in 'laziness' and such too, though he's had anxiety and even some mild SA before too..

Lol, that's kind of funny. Because im a Libra and I'M the one with the SA! It bothers me a lot because I have so much social energy just trying to burst it's way out but something keeps blocking it ::.
-----------------------
Anyway, I agree with people not taking it seriously. It's not just that. it's that some people really just don't care. If it's not their problem, why should they be concerned? They only reason they make comments like that is because they just don't understand, or they have no empathy/sympathy for others.

Just heartless bastards ​

 

[Feathers]

If the illness isn't visible it can get sloughed off too easily. A friend of mine is slowly deteriorating from fibromyalgia (nervous system disease), and she's had two doctors say on two ocassions, "It's all in your head." and "You're just lazy."

Yeah, invisible illnesses can be bad.. There's another forum and many people there have had a similar experience of difficulty to explain to others and even doctors..

About your friend with fibro, have her check ctds.info - great website with lots of info on nutrition and such, especially magnesium etc, maybe she can find any of it helpful?

For anyone else too, magnesium or any other vitamins/minerals that are important in the nervous system can be lacking, due to a number of reasons.. And deficiencies can make these things worse, anxiety etc. Many doctors don't have a clue about these things though.. or know too little.. I'd expect pharmacists to be a bit more informed, though they often basically only have for sale what's already 'sold' to them and know what the travelling salesmen tell'em..

 

[Feathers]

Lol, that's kind of funny. Because im a Libra and I'M the one with the SA! It bothers me a lot because I have so much social energy just trying to burst it's way out but something keeps blocking it ::.​

he he, I usually get along with female Libras well.. I know you guys can be quite sociable Most of the Libra girls (and guys) I know are quite popular and also get dates/boyfriends/girlfriends/admirers easily.. (perhaps after a longer period of waiting though) So I think you'll find friends and get snatched soon!!
Maybe just find a good venue for getting together with cool & nice people!!
Like volunteering or a nice course of something interesting or such?

Yup, it's not easy to understand something one hasn't experienced..
Social - I've never had to really explain it to anyone, it might be good to have a few possible answers or ways of reacting for any 'next' family meetings? (Or just other topics of conversation?)

For immediate family members I found it good to read them from Wikipedia or print them out articles about certain things.. He he, you could e-mail your coz something 'earth shattering' (like statistics on people with this and meds and such? )

 

[Aussie_Lad]

Everyone is anxious about something, I can almost guarantee that.

I have seen a fully grown man be brought down when he saw a tiny spider crawling toward him. I put my finger near the spider and it crawled away in the opposite direction. Why are so many people scared of spiders when they will mostly have this exact reaction. You are much scarier to the spider than the spider is to you. This is irrational, much like any anxiety is, but it is what it is and we need to accept the person for having this anxiety.

 

[Predacon]

Hell I just wouldn't let him get to you.

 

[PunkRotten]

He is an idiot that does not speak from experience. PERIOD. The funny thing is, these kind of people that talk like they know it all, sure think life is easy cause they have had their lives laid out for them by their parents and others.

 

[PunkRotten]

Next time tell him not everyone has the same opportunities and privileges in life. No matter how some may try or how tough they are, they will not get places in life where others may. If you are scapegoated, that will be a major roadblock. Some people are just favored, some people kiss others' asses. Some people have the kind of parents that lay their lives out for them. Most people would get no where if they do not have the support/direction in early life.

So don't even bother with ignorant idiots like these, they really have no clue, experience, or any real perspective on life. They constantly brag about how great they are, but in reality they are the ones who fear inadequacy.