others thinking u are anti-social

no1

no1

Banned
others thinking u are asocial

Does anyone else have the same problem with people? They think you are anti-social or something, or don't want to hang out, even though you've never declined invitations or anything, but they think since you're not a social butterfly, that you are anti-social or something, thus giving them "reason" to not want to hang out with you, or to think that you just wouldn't want to hang out, etc.

I apologize if this post is a little unclear I am super tired...
 
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anomicdeer

anomicdeer

Well-known member
Well I never really get invited to anything but in school people know I am quiet and they thought I didn't want to be bothered. By some of them yeah...
 
iamthenra

iamthenra

Well-known member
I've been told that I look unapproachable and anti-social, even been called gay before (which by the way is so far from the truth...I could never be gay.). I've been told that I look angry, which I believe is my inner self defense strategy so that I do not have to engage in any socializing with others. I do this subconsciously, I don't even realize that I am even doing it.
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
People don't seem to understand that all of us don't like parties and other social events.
 
NothingElseMatters

NothingElseMatters

Well-known member
no1 said:
Does anyone else have the same problem with people? They think you are anti-social or something, or don't want to hang out, even though you've never declined invitations or anything, but they think since you're not a social butterfly, that you are anti-social or something, thus giving them "reason" to not want to hang out with you, or to think that you just wouldn't want to hang out, etc.
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it happens yeah.but most of the judging and the thinking that i am anti-social happens in my head.they probably dont give a s*** many times and they dont even think about me at all.i am just thinking that they r thinking bad things about me.
And i don't blame them cause if i don't even TRY to be social and i only sit home crying that life isnt fair and staff y would they give me a chance?
 
K

klytus

Well-known member
You mean "asocial". Noca is right. And, yes, people told me, including my former principal, that I appear to be a very unapproachable person. Even he was afraid of talking to me. A former classmate of mine told me that I appear to shun human contact. I've been called gay (because I don't talk to women) and unfriendly, arrogant, aloof, uptight.

However, I always declined invitations and have never really been open to, eh, opening myself up to people. Hence I can't say what their impression of me could've been like, had I been more socially proactive.
 
Cynic

Cynic

Well-known member
klytus said:
I've been called gay (because I don't talk to women)
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Yet you probably don't talk to other guys either? People are so fuckin stupid. :mad:

klytus said:
and unfriendly, arrogant, aloof, uptight.
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I've had people say things to/about me and quite frankly as long as they keep away from me I don't really give a shit. I know I'm not good enough, so why should I let the cracks show? That would be asking for trouble.
 
no1

no1

Banned
recluse said:
People don't seem to understand that all of us don't like parties and other social events.
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not necessarily. I just don't like the promiscuity and vices going on in most of parties and social events. And I don't know how to handle a crowd single handedly if I were to go out anywhere by myself, so..that's why i hardly go anywhere by myself.

I just don't get any invitations.

And about other thinking you are gay: I relate to that as well. Because I don't act like most guys and explicitly hit on women and more than one at a time I am considered abnormal, or women just don't get 'sexy/romantic' thoughts about me because.. I haven't instilled those kinds of thoughts with comments hinting or exuding sexuality towards them, because I want to be careful and not offend them. I would usually hint at it when I feel like she would be a bit comfortable and I know her and stuff.

But even then I've been kind of brave and blurted things out. Not so good anyway. *sigh* i just don't know what women want sometimes.
 
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market.garden

market.garden

Well-known member
I have a couple of friends I hang out with from time to time, they're big drinkers and whenever I say I'm busy (even when I actually am) or just don't want to sit in the same pub drinking pint after pint, they call me "boring"!! For not wanting to sit in the same damn drinking hole night after night.

I've realized though that we are all just so different from each other so I've learned to ignore their remarks and focus on the friends who understand me a little better.
 
SilentType

SilentType

Banned
I have a couple of friends I hang out with from time to time, they're big drinkers and whenever I say I'm busy (even when I actually am) or just don't want to sit in the same pub drinking pint after pint, they call me "boring"!! For not wanting to sit in the same damn drinking hole night after night.

I've realized though that we are all just so different from each other so I've learned to ignore their remarks and focus on the friends who understand me a little better.
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You've got the routine. These people who speak negatively about us because of our anxiety are no good for our self esteems. These remarks reinforce the idea that people are always judging us, leading us to become more anxious and feel worse about ourselves. Not one of us in here would have anxiety problems if they could surround themselves with people who want to understand our conditions and help us through it. We need supportive friends and family to get through this struggle, not people who put us down just for having a different view of social interaction. Do yourself a favor and move on from the negative "friends", because all their doing is putting more weight on you back as you try to climb the mountain that is your anxiety disorder.


Peace
 
K

klytus

Well-known member
Yet you probably don't talk to other guys either?
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I talk to people, if there is a good reason to. If a girl asks me something and I can answer in a helpful way, I will answer. I just don't see any sense in speaking about nothing - a.k.a. small-talk. Women have, in average, even less in common with me than men. So, it happens that I tend to talk more to men than to women - simply because it makes sense.

People are so ****in stupid
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Indeed.

I just don't like the promiscuity and vices going on in most of parties and social events.
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I agree. I am not against parties in general. I am against the activities that tend to take place there. The promiscuity, the overt sexual aspect of the entire getting together, the binge-drinking (which is common-place here), the drinking in general (I am against the use of alcohol [or any other substance] as a social lubricant), ... -- There are plenty of good reasons for me not to go to a party.

Plus the fact that people quickly learn that I am useless for casual social activities and I don't get invited anywhere.
 
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SilentType

SilentType

Banned
I think what Noca means is antisocials often are out to cause problems in social situations. Asocials often go as far as avoiding social situations altogether. We're asocial.


Peace
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
Why do you care so much what people think about you. Antisocial is a person who is deceptive or criminal. Have you comitted any crime? Probably not (or not yet at least :)), so why to care if others think that you are something what in reality you are not? If they think so only because you are not sociable, then they don´t understand you and it´s their problem. You better be alone than with such people anyway.
 
Cynic

Cynic

Well-known member
no1 said:
women just don't get 'sexy/romantic' thoughts about me because.. I haven't instilled those kinds of thoughts with comments hinting or exuding sexuality towards them
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It has been said that some people give off an asexual vibe.

no1 said:
because I want to be careful and not offend them.
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Well yeah, if you're not rated by the cool crowd, then women will take offence at being hit on.

no1 said:
i just don't know what women want sometimes.
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Aye you do.
 
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