Social phobia and college

[JGator]

I'm a mechanical engineering major in college right now. Engineering is a bit easier on social anxiety than most majors I think, but it's much harder than other majors in terms of everything else. I have a few presentations and a few group projects and they're always the things I stress out most about, and in turn they're usually the things I do best on because I worry so much that I end up putting in extra effort.

 

[oxygene]

my first year in college was horrible. I skipped lots of classes, and ended up with a very low gpa (2.2). That meant that I had to change my major which was business. I got in economics and Im glad I did so. I retook some of the classes and spent two summers on campus to increase my gpa. My gpa is now 3.4 and I`m graduation next year. I want to apply to graduate schools but the application part makes it almost impossible because all the schools require at least 3 recommendations from professors. It`s not easy for someone with sp to talk to professors let alone asking for recommendations.

 

[princess_haru]

Aw, this made me sad - you were doing so well! I know it's after the fact now, but it sounds like you might have gotten down on yourself about missing the presentation, which made it harder to go to classes, and things just snowballed from there. That's partly what happened to me a long time ago. But some teachers can be understanding about stuff like this, and some universities even have policies for accommodating students with disabilities like social anxiety, which let you work around things like that.

Or there's always the option of just taking a zero on the presentation and working extra hard on everything else, and saying to yourself, dammit, I did the best I could!

Anyway, don't feel bad - I dropped out of college after 3 years due to increasing anxiety and depression, and after drugs, CBT, and 10 years of distance I was able to go back and finish my degree - all the credits I'd earned were still there. Things were much better the second time around.

Thanks hon, it helps a lot to have an understanding ear! This isn't something I've talked much about before. It happened a long time ago (10 years) and back then I'd never heard of social phobia/anxiety; I just thought I was a freak! It seemed like everyone else managed perfectly well with social interaction and I was too ashamed of my problems to discuss them with anyone and get help. I'm glad that SA is becoming better known now, so that less people will feel alone with their problems. Well done for going back and finishing your degree! That's really inspirational to me, as I've been thinking about going back to full or part-time education some day soon

 

[market.garden]

3 years at university and I hated every minute of it. I tried to hole myself up in my room as much as possible, but most of the time had to 'put on a face' and deal with associating with people. I missed so many seminars I had to re-take part of the course.

The difficult thing was making up an excuse to my parents explaining why I had missed graduation.

 

[dancing_artyukhin76]

I started college back in June 08 where I was taking summer classes and I was doing really well because I had just started on medication for my SA. I was living with 3 outgoing roommates and they would invite me to go places with them and their friends so I wasn't locked up in my room like usual.
I figured that I would enjoy fall term even more because I would now be living with my best friend from elementary school and two other girls. But after the first week of the fall term I had a bad experience with a guy and I also started taking another medicine that ****ed up my medication for SA. This led to me failing 4 out of 5 of my classes because I couldn't muster up the courage to go to class, and became terribly depressed(not getting out of bed most days). So I was put on academic probation because of my GPA.
I did a little better during the spring term, but i only took 3 courses, which was not enough to bring up my GPA. So I can't apply for courses at that university for two terms now, and will have to reapply if i want to continue going there. But i don't mind because I hated it there. I thought going to a university of 50,000+ undergraduates with at least 400 kids in each class would be good for me, because I would just fade into the crowd. But of course not, I felt like all eyes were on me.
I hate how SA is effecting my academics, because I have been a straight A student until now. Of course my entire high school years were spent at an online school where there were 8 other students in my grade, 5 of them being very close friends, and most of them I've gone to school with since kindergarten. I think I am just gonna stick to a college with small class sizes from now on.

 

[Scrabbl]

I'm a mechanical engineering major in college right now. Engineering is a bit easier on social anxiety than most majors I think, but it's much harder than other majors in terms of everything else. I have a few presentations and a few group projects and they're always the things I stress out most about, and in turn they're usually the things I do best on because I worry so much that I end up putting in extra effort.

Agree with the engineering easy on SA thing. I'm electrical major btw =) I like the fact it's such a difficult program too because it keeps me busy and distract me from worrying about SA. Also I don't feel intimidated around fellow nerd classmates

 

[sorrow1]

college for me was the best time of my life but also the worst. At first it was bad becase i was so nervous about having to meet all the new people in my dorm. My worst fears came true when i had to share a floor and single kitchen with no less than 15 loud and confident party animals. They wanted to go out everynight drinking which i hated becase i was never much for going out when i was in school. For the first month it was hell i was anxious nearly everyday around these people and many times felt like running home but i kept forcing myself to tag along and eventually ended up getting to know most of them by knocking on their doors and chatting to them.
I got a great group of friends and went out partying nearly everynight for the whole of my first year which was great. best time of my life
However I was a year behind my friends because i did a foundation course, when i started my first year of my new course my friends started their second and had to move a couple of miles away into student housing. They had a lot more work than me and because of the distance away and the work load I saw less and less of them. I didnt bother to make friends on my new course because of my sa and because i was comfortable with the friends I already had and didnt feel I needed to. towards the end of that year i got increased anxiety going to classes and going on class trips where people had made friends and i had left it too late. I got deppression and stopped going to classes I also stopped making the effort to hang out with my friends.
The result of this was failing the year and dopping out which was the worst decision of my life. I so regret throwing the chance of getting a good job away just because it got a little hard. Ive now got lots of debt with nothing to show, a lifetime of crap jobs to look forward to and the lost respect from family and friends.
My advice would be to stick at it, even if its hard. Try immersing yourself in your degree, It might take your mind off your sa. I wish i had stuck it out, my situation may have improved over time but i took what i thought was the easy option and quit. I avoided the situation for the short term but i still have sa and now i have a crap job to enjoy aswell.

 

[Oscelot]

Wow. I was trying to get optimistic and ready to go to college, and then I read all this.

 

[WelshOne]

I just got back from an interview for college, and I got accepted - into a higher course than what I applied for too! So Im quite happy at the moment.

Its a really small college, which is perfect for me, so Im looking forward to finally getting back into a semi-normal life, after leaving school early and barely leaving my home for the last 4 years.

Im dreading the first week, having to introduce myself to the class and all that sort of thing, but Im gonna do it because avoiding these things got me into this mess in the first place. Its time to confront my fears head on.

 

[trendline]

I just found out that I failed Linear Algebra because I couldn't face my professor on why I missed the final. God damn f*cking SA.

edit: Way to go WelshOne. That's the attitude to have (about confronting your fears, that is). I wish you the best. Good Luck.

 

[Richey]

I just found out that I failed Linear Algebra because I couldn't face my professor on why I missed the final. God damn f*cking SA.

edit: Way to go WelshOne. That's the attitude to have (about confronting your fears, that is). I wish you the best. Good Luck.

email!!! is another option

 

[Richey]

My only advice is choose the course that you have a genuine passion for not because you think its a credible career move or that it'll impress people on your resume. for instance in science, engineering or programming you have to be one step ahead all the time and if you fall behind for even a week and dont ask alot of questions you'll struggle unless you live and breathe every class you take. If you can't visualize complex models or diagrams in your head then you'll be lost.

its more important to understand the concepts then it is to memorise words for an exam or to model a project

its harder for some then it is for others and from what i've read it can also depend on your environment growing up that dictates your study capacity and ability to pick up on concepts easily as well as your own ability to understand the subject.

most of the people i know who passed their university studies well already had more then five years of practicing or interest in the content now can you imagine the advantages they have over someone with little knowledge signing up because they feel like achieving a degree qualification, for the most part they struggle especially after the first year. those who pass planned their future out long before they stepped foot into a university facility.

i had a friend who studied day and night and still couldn't pass because she became so stressed out by the pressure of passing that it took her over and she had a break down and dropped out. i would say that university or certain courses are on a pain barrier of 9/10 in terms of making it out the otherside. If you arn't feeling the weight of pressure then you are either a genius or you are winging it.