Do your parents have a good relationship?

[recluse]

My parents are more like brother and sister rather than a married couple. I know i shouldn't let it affect me but i can't help it when i live under the same roof, i mean everyday i live with a feeling of dread of what the mood is going to be like in the house.

To be honest my dad makes me feel as if i want to shake some sense into him, you see my dad never takes my mum out for a meal and the last time they went away on holiday was in 1996. My dad is on a good wage so it's not as if he can't afford to treat my mum, but it's as if he does not realise how unhappy my mum is. My mum tries to hint how unhappy she is but my dad does not respond. Honestly i want to shake some sense into him and get him to see that my mum wants some happiness. My dad just has no sense of romance, my mum has accused him of being a closet homosexual on many occasions.

I think my parents poor relationship is the reason why i am so cynical regarding realtionships/marriage. Can anyone else relate?

 

[alana]

think about the positive aspects of your parents relationship. Sometimes the negative aspects can seam so overwhelming and important.

 

[recluse]

It's difficult because i am very sensitive about other peoples feelings.

 

[I_Walk_Alone]

No they didn't.

 

[thor01]

Yes I can, and I'm also sensitive about others feelings.
Mine got divorced about 9 or 10 years ago or something (I'm not sure exactly when they did because they didn't tell me at the time, and both tried to carry on so that me and my sister wouldn't know, by still living in the same house, but having different bedrooms and everything, in fact my mum practically moved into the basement). So I knew something had happened but didn't know what. But before that and even after that sometimes, they would argue. Then a few years later my mum moved into another house with someone else. And I didn't like the whole situation then at all, of arguing and a general bad atmosphere, or the fact that they got divorced, which I'm not bothered about any of now tbh. So I do feel that could be partly responsible for my plan to not get married and have children, however there are other reasons.

 

[alana]

there isnt much you can do. talk to them about your problems. then i guess you have to let it be. let them live their own life, i guess they need to make their own decisions for themselves... they need to learn their own lessons. Recognizing that you have psychological issues because of how you were brought up and be conscious of that so that you can grow out of it.

 

[Psychedelicious]

Pear ants

Uhh no!!!! I don't really think they did. My Dad can be very difficult to get along with sometimes, I have no idea how he'll react to things. There was also the whole infidelity thing, you know dating someone 20 years younger, and a lot of other shit going on. I don't even want to mention some of it. So obviously my parents are divorced lol. It's a lot better now though. I don't think it affects me how you mention though, I don't want to let it get to me in that way.

 

[I_Walk_Alone]

Hmmm, i remember my mates having these sorts of problems.

Always facinated me what life was like on the other side.

Probably end up less crazy, but even more bored and depressed?

 

[gio289]

My parents are going thru the same thing. Although i live by myself and not with them, I still have to hear alot of what does go on under that roof. I was thinking about all of the messed up relationships around me just the other day. Theirs would have to be at the top of the list. They really are one of the biggest reasons i that I cant open up how I want and have relationship; i just fear its goin to turn out like theirs.

 

[Nack]

My dad died when i was young, so growing up with only mom. It was kind've hard. I mean you guys know that moms are the ones that keeps you from getting in trouble and try to keep you safe, and dad is the one that allows you to go wild and explore life. My mom always try to keep me safe and my family, i tend not to rebel because i know that taking care of 5 kids is a pain, and i know she is severly depress. She threaten acouple time about suicide and leaving us. So that's why im like this. That's what i've concluded.

It sucks, because im 19 and have little friends, confidence, job, can't even drive yet. Seriously, not being able to act like my age, depresses me like hell!

 

[bleach]

They have a cold and distant relationship, and I often wonder if they have only remained together from a sense of obligation. I know they married after I was conceived, so their 'love' was probably a result of that.

 

[I_Walk_Alone]

My dad died when i was young, so growing up with only mom. It was kind've hard. I mean you guys know that moms are the ones that keeps you from getting in trouble and try to keep you safe, and dad is the one that allows you to go wild and explore life. My mom always try to keep me safe and my family, i tend not to rebel because i know that taking care of 5 kids is a pain, and i know she is severly depress. She threaten acouple time about suicide and leaving us. So that's why im like this. That's what i've concluded.

It sucks, because im 19 and have little friends, confidence, job, can't even drive yet. Seriously, not being able to act like my age, depresses me like hell!

Talk to her mate, make her feel loved. I dont mean to freak you out, but dnt take her threats lightly, even if you think shes just saying that to keep her brood in line.

Seriously mate, MAKE HER FEEL LOVED, she'll ****ing love you for it.

 

[DaaaBulls]

My parents get along but they really do not have a true connection or chemistry. I never see them having any deep or meaningful convos unless they are about me or my sister and what to do about us. I was never close to my father and once my little sister was born my mother started to pay all or most of her attention to her. This might be the reason I had some deep rooted dislike for my mother a few years back and I didn't even know why. My father probably had ok intentions but he would never really strive to bond with me and I remember instances where he would leave me in the car as a young child while he went and hung out with a friend. There was really never any loving relationship between my mother and father and I guess you could look at it in a negative light, but I don't. I now know exactly what I want out of a relationship, pretty much the exact oppisite of my parents. I also now know what kind of a father I want to be, not distant like my own. So I'm looking at my family experience as a glass half full at the moment...That could change though lol

 

[DaaaBulls]

Bleach- I think you bring up a good point, obligation seems to be a major theme when it comes to dysfunctional families and marriages. My parents felt obligated to stay together, and it is sad that they will never truly find someone they love deeply.

 

[this_portrait]

My parents don't get along at all. My mom is completely disgusted by my dad (and I can't blame her). In fact, my dad is only living with my mom and me because he has to pay "child" support to help me get through college.