Morgan01
Well-known member
I am constantly fighting with myself and it is really dricing me crazy.. everything I think about is just like a fight in my mind.
Everything in my life I am going back and forth about over and over again.
every intrusive thought..every response to it everything I do I'm just argueing with myself over and over again.
Then there is my family.. a huge issue ... it's just such a love/hate thing right now. I obviously want to get away from them so much I don't want to be around them I avoid them part of me wants to move far away and never talk to them again but then I tell myself they are kind of all I have I still "love" them even if I don't like them I don't want to just never see them at all.. even if they drive me crazy.. and then I think maybe they are right maybe it's my fault.. but it's not..I try to tell myself I don't care about what they think but obviously I do because they are my paren't I want them to love me.
then there is stress around my daughter and my boyfriend, which are the two best parts of my life but because they are the best parts of my life they cause me a lot of stress too because I am afraid of ruining the best things I have going for me.. with my boyfriend he's been really amazing with the OCD thing and all but I feel constant anxiety around him that I am going to mess everything up and overstress him with my stress from everything and I feel like I am just being a failure. With my daughter I just feel like she brings me the most joy out of everything but also I get a lot of worries and doubts because of the ocd that stress me out and make things really hard and also make me feel like a failure.
I have so many things to do so many responsibilities and the more I think of all I have to do the more I feel like a failure and don't do any of them.. : (
I don't know I am doing the best I can right now it is just really hard fighting with myself all the time and feeling so unsure about everything. I don't even feel like I know mysef anymore especially because i'm gulping down meds all day.. I know things will get better just need a little support through this rough time.
Everything in my life I am going back and forth about over and over again.
every intrusive thought..every response to it everything I do I'm just argueing with myself over and over again.
Then there is my family.. a huge issue ... it's just such a love/hate thing right now. I obviously want to get away from them so much I don't want to be around them I avoid them part of me wants to move far away and never talk to them again but then I tell myself they are kind of all I have I still "love" them even if I don't like them I don't want to just never see them at all.. even if they drive me crazy.. and then I think maybe they are right maybe it's my fault.. but it's not..I try to tell myself I don't care about what they think but obviously I do because they are my paren't I want them to love me.
then there is stress around my daughter and my boyfriend, which are the two best parts of my life but because they are the best parts of my life they cause me a lot of stress too because I am afraid of ruining the best things I have going for me.. with my boyfriend he's been really amazing with the OCD thing and all but I feel constant anxiety around him that I am going to mess everything up and overstress him with my stress from everything and I feel like I am just being a failure. With my daughter I just feel like she brings me the most joy out of everything but also I get a lot of worries and doubts because of the ocd that stress me out and make things really hard and also make me feel like a failure.
I have so many things to do so many responsibilities and the more I think of all I have to do the more I feel like a failure and don't do any of them.. : (
I don't know I am doing the best I can right now it is just really hard fighting with myself all the time and feeling so unsure about everything. I don't even feel like I know mysef anymore especially because i'm gulping down meds all day.. I know things will get better just need a little support through this rough time.