Difficulties with nonverbal communication?

[Argamemnon]

Do you have difficulties with nonverbal communication such as facial expressions? When people talk to me, I often give them an emotionless blank stare. I can't connect with them. Is there something like mild Asperger's disorder?

 

[WeirdGirl]

Em i know how to conect with people for the first few minutes. I'm good at the inital meet and greet and flash a nice warm smile, but anything more in depth than a brief chat about the weather or something equally as meaningless has me uncomfortable.

 

[Anubis]

I wonder, do you use your hands while you talk or are you constantly fidgeting while you're also trying to find the right facial expression?

 

[Rise Against]

Im the same way, except i cant read body language... Although ive been learning how, lol.

 

[SickJoke]

Do you have difficulties with nonverbal communication such as facial expressions? When people talk to me, I often give them an emotionless blank stare. I can't connect with them. Is there something like mild Asperger's disorder?

A blank stare usually means one of two things: boredom or fear. In both cases it's an indication that you're not paying attention. The eyes tell it all: if your eyes are unfocused, your mind is somewhere else.

This is a SA forum, so in your case it's probably fear, and you're probably having paranoid thoughts instead of being actively involved in the conversation. What can you do? FORCE yourself to pay close attention to the conversation, and your nonverbal communication will take care of itself.

 

[Argamemnon]

I wonder, do you use your hands while you talk or are you constantly fidgeting while you're also trying to find the right facial expression?

I don't think I use my hands, not much I think. Fidgeting means being nervous/restless, right? Yes, I'm fidgeting.

 

[Argamemnon]

A blank stare usually means one of two things: boredom or fear. In both cases it's an indication that you're not paying attention. The eyes tell it all: if your eyes are unfocused, your mind is somewhere else.

This is a SA forum, so in your case it's probably fear, and you're probably having paranoid thoughts instead of being actively involved in the conversation. What can you do? FORCE yourself to pay close attention to the conversation, and your nonverbal communication will take care of itself.

Sounds plausible, but I still suspect that I may have (mild) Asperger's.

 

[Lea]

Sounds plausible, but I still suspect that I may have (mild) Asperger's.

Why do you think only mild? (It is not meant as offence, I have it too btw.)
What is the difference between mild and strong AS?

 

[Nabu]

My facial expression is horrorable, but I guess it is just a lack of training.

 

[Argamemnon]

Why do you think only mild? (It is not meant as offence, I have it too btw.)
What is the difference between mild and strong AS?

Yes, maybe I'm in denial and may have Asperger's. Were you diagnosed with Asperger's?

 

[Anubis]

I don't think I use my hands, not much I think. Fidgeting means being nervous/restless, right? Yes, I'm fidgeting.

That was exactly my problem. By not using your hands, you are really making things hard for yourself. In fact, I'd compare it to a kickboxer who cuts off one of his legs but still wants to be a champion. It's that self-defeating. Don't want to take my word for it? (You shouldn't!) Casually observe a discussion between non-SA people. You'll notice that they always use their hands in some capacity, even if they're only talking to 1 person. The same basic premise is apparent with characters on TV shows.

Learn how to control your hands, and your facial expressions will automatically match the emotions of your hands (It seems magical, but it really works!). And the great thing with hands is that you can see them in real-time (unlike your face) so you can quickly and correctly change them if they're sending the wrong signals.

 

[Lea]

Yes, maybe I'm in denial and may have Asperger's. Were you diagnosed with Asperger's?

Yes, I was. She was a specialist and based the diagnose mostly on what I told her about my childhood etc., + watched my behaviour and made some tests. Nevertheless I don´t think it is so stone certain because she didn´t interpret exactly many things that I told her and it seemed to me she twisted some facts in advantage to asperger (as if she wanted to diagnose me with it). I told her for example I had temper tantrums as a child and my cousin said that she doesn´t remember anything of it, rather that we laughed a lot. My cousin also said that many children fear noise or don´t want to dress up (especially certain things) or go to school.. which is true. I don´t know if my childhood behaviour was so unusual. But anyway apart from this I still think I rather have asperger, if not severe, then mild but I do have it.

 

[Argamemnon]

One thing I want to add. I'm able to "read" other people's facial expressions. I have no difficulties with that. My problem is that I can't "generate" facial expressions myself. Does anyone here have the same problem??

 

[meatcake]

One thing I want to add. I'm able to "read" other people's facial expressions. I have no difficulties with that. My problem is that I can't "generate" facial expressions myself. Does anyone here have the same problem??

Hmm, I've had that when I was really depressed and anxious. It felt like I would abandon my body and especially my face, and it would just be this blank mask that I was sure was freaking everybody out. In pictures of me at this time though, I just looked really blah and out of it. Have you always been like that with expressions?

 

[Argamemnon]

Hmm, I've had that when I was really depressed and anxious. It felt like I would abandon my body and especially my face, and it would just be this blank mask that I was sure was freaking everybody out. In pictures of me at this time though, I just looked really blah and out of it. Have you always been like that with expressions?

I wasn't always like this. At least not to the same extent... it got much worse over the last three years. Like you said, I think it's because of depression and anxiety.

 

[Lea]

I recalled also this: when I was describing my childhood to the specialist, I mentioned that my mother told me when I was little, at one point she had hurt leg and couldn´t walk. I kept shouting at her: walk, walk! The specialist wrote in the papers that I couldn´t feel empathy and understand that someone is ill. When I got home I asked my mum how old I was because I myself don´t remember this story at all. She said about 2 years. I don´t know it seems to me exchaggerated to say I had no empathy, I was only 2 years and children do a lot of strange things.

I also don´t think I would have problem with reading facial expressions. By me the problem is rather multitasking or concentrating on more things at once or switching attention from one thing to another - at least it isn´t fluent enough (which is a problem when driving and in my case btw I think driving will be always risky no matter how much practice I have).

 

[Anubis]

Personally, I think Asperger's syndrome is incredibly over-diagnosed.

If you can make perfect expressions in front of a mirror and you can interpret the facial expressions of others, then you don't have Asperger's syndrome. You just have a lot of negative beliefs that paralyze your ability to successfully form facial expressions in public. That's all. And medicine can't fix that.

 

[Argamemnon]

By me the problem is rather multitasking or concentrating on more things at once or switching attention from one thing to another - at least it isn´t fluent enough (which is a problem when driving and in my case btw I think driving will be always risky no matter how much practice I have).

Exactly!! I couldn't have said it better.

 

[TheNewZero]

I wonder, do you use your hands while you talk or are you constantly fidgeting while you're also trying to find the right facial expression?

I use my hands to talk all the time. I think it's from trying to learn sign language once....usually I get my point across better with my hands than I do by talking...yeah.

 

[Lea]

I think if we can read facial expressions or have empathy still doesn´t mean we don´t have aspergers. There is much more to aspergers, the whole perception of the world, feeling dissociated, different, like alien. Awkwardness doing certain things, not fit in the society because we don´t have feeling for social norms or behaviour, or simply it seems to us unimportant or boring to engage in the social rituals. Being loners. Etc. etc.