So everyone says that life gets better after high school but I'm not so sure it will for me. I don't have the same issues a lot of people have. Yes I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not super popular and I'm not the prettiest girl in school. Im not bullied either. All those things don't really bother me though. My problem is that I have no friends. I did at the beginning of high school but they stopped liking me for some reason. I just want to know if it gets easier to find people you like and like you back once you out of school?
Does it really get better after high school?
- Thread starter sarah1234
- Start date
swissa
Member
To get anywhere in life - you have to try. With any mental illness - this work is going to be much harder. You need to think of positive things that could come from this effort to drive yourself to a better life!
What I'm saying is - maybe to make new friends try and join a gym or a club that doesn't involve a lot of direct social contact. As you ease into the environment and get used to the people you are around - you might get some opportunity for friendship!
I'm still working on this- but even focusing on something else in these environments (seeking friendship or not) can be very therapeutic and distracting of the things that are plaguing you
Good luck! :3
What I'm saying is - maybe to make new friends try and join a gym or a club that doesn't involve a lot of direct social contact. As you ease into the environment and get used to the people you are around - you might get some opportunity for friendship!
I'm still working on this- but even focusing on something else in these environments (seeking friendship or not) can be very therapeutic and distracting of the things that are plaguing you
Good luck! :3
MotherWolff
Banned
I think things do get easier after highschool. At least it did for me. I still don't have very many friends. I guess you can say I at least have a few friends I guess. Anyways, I believe anyone can have a good life and I don't think you have to wait until after highschool to start enjoying it either.
lyricalliaisons
Well-known member
No, it doesn't get easier. I'm sorry. You have to make an effort to find friends in life if you want them. It's hard, but it's worth it.
fate12321
Well-known member
I graduated recently (class of 2013), and I've found that things did get a bit better. I wasn't the "social butterfly" of the class, I wasn't really out going nor a huge party go-er, I didn't hang out with a large group of friends, in fact I started to make friends almost at the end of high school (around 11th grade). I guess you can say I was an average Joe in school. After graduation most of my friends split up, each going their separate ways and me on my own. I felt that I was back where I started. Although we hardly see each other we still keep in touch.
Anyways back to answering your question, for the past, 6 years, (well for me), I've been stuck with the same people in class. Most of them knew me. They knew that I would hardly talk. Once I graduated, I can't describe the relief I felt that I would never see these people again! Just because you didn't make friends in school doesn't mean that you won't ever make a single friend again. School was just temporary, you still have a whole life ahead of you and trust me there's a lot of friendly people out there.
Anyways back to answering your question, for the past, 6 years, (well for me), I've been stuck with the same people in class. Most of them knew me. They knew that I would hardly talk. Once I graduated, I can't describe the relief I felt that I would never see these people again! Just because you didn't make friends in school doesn't mean that you won't ever make a single friend again. School was just temporary, you still have a whole life ahead of you and trust me there's a lot of friendly people out there.
forwardtwelve
Member
for me, it didn't get better. at least in high school i had hope. now, i'm just trying to survive each day.
for me, it got better in ways and worse in others..my social skills kept improving but my avoidance started to get worse as i wasnt as connected with my friends like i was in high school..i lost touch with most of them, plus the pressure of finding a job, then working was a shock at first as i realized it wasnt 'all fun and games and getting paid' ...it was hard work with politics and muhc socializing involved...
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
In regards to friends, I won't say it's easier to make them after school, but it is easier to survive without them. When I was at college, I ate my meals alone every day, and it was completely fine, lot's of other people were too. In high school, the year I ate lunch alone was miserable and made me dread the time of day. And in places like college or a new job, people are more inviting and understanding in general. If you want to do your own thing that's cool, or if you want be friends they'll try to open the door to your. When I first started my job, I was frequently asked to go out for drinks. After a while they stopped asking because they were sick of me saying no, but the point is I think after school people are definitely looking to be nice and accepting to the people around them. It does take some initiative on your part, but fresh starts are opportunities and have the potential for new good things.
MotherWolff
Banned
I used to think that when I grew up, there would be no one telling me what to do. But people still treat me like I am a little girl. Like my step mama referred to my ex-boyfriend as a little boy even though he was 26.
Its like people can't admit that I am a grown woman now. But I still think things are better as an adult because you have more of a say in what goes on in your life than as a minor. But that is my opinion. I am trying hard not to state it as a fact.
Its like people can't admit that I am a grown woman now. But I still think things are better as an adult because you have more of a say in what goes on in your life than as a minor. But that is my opinion. I am trying hard not to state it as a fact.
OceanMist
Well-known member
Sadly for most people with a shyness problem it will only get worse. If someone struggles with personal relationships in high school they will probably have the same problem when they hit 40 years old.
The reason for this is people don't change much as far as personality goes. A lot of it has to do with motivation, a lot of people who have SA naturally lack the motivation to socialize, myself included.
In order to change someone must be really dedicated to what they are doing and take massive action to change themselves. Most people aren't willing to do that, or even want to do that for that matter.
The reason for this is people don't change much as far as personality goes. A lot of it has to do with motivation, a lot of people who have SA naturally lack the motivation to socialize, myself included.
In order to change someone must be really dedicated to what they are doing and take massive action to change themselves. Most people aren't willing to do that, or even want to do that for that matter.
YellowBird
Well-known member
my anxiety actually got worse after highschool,but i had better chances in making friends,for the first time i talked to people i actually liked,instead of ending up with whoever.College or your workplace is a fresh start for everyone so it's easier to approach people because everyone's looking for company.
THeCARS1979
Well-known member
Sometimes it can get easier. sometimes no. Your lucky to have a boyfriend and thats an accomplishment. How old are you ? Maybe youll find some at the first or 2nd job? Maybe College if you go.
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Luckylife
Well-known member
You have a better chance than us for a good life, partly by having ready info from the net to at least aid you. Imagine going thru adult life thinking 'this is how it is for everyone' and only realizing you're wrong because of a huge breakdown. You start looking for answers after one of those I'll tell you.
Xervello
Well-known member
First off, hi, sarah! Welcome to the forum.
It does get better in the sense that as you get older, you develop a better idea of who you are, what you like and what you want. And the more honest you are about yourself and what you want, the less complicated it is making friendships. Because you stop tolerating abnoxious "friends" you might otherwise would have kept and maybe start appreciating others you wouldn't have ordinarily given a second look to. Or not. Everyone is different and some have more difficulty than others. But it's still never easy finding like-minded people to be friends with. Most people find their friends during school or college. If not there then in the workplace when they get jobs. Hopefully you can meet some people here. This forum is as inclusive a place as I've seen. I wish you luck!