Am Anti-Social/suffering from Social anxiety?

Hi there, this is my first post. First off, I must apologize if this is in the wrong thread, Ij ust got here and haven't really looked around however from what I've seen the people here seem like good folks who I can relate with. Anyways..

I am wondering if I am Anti-social, sufferingm from anxiety or is it just my personality? Heres a bio of me.

I am 17 years old, I live in Toronto Canada. All throughout my life I have been somewhat reserved, introverted and quiet. I've changed schools about 5 times, and often had trouble making friends as is similar when I play on a sports team. Part of this is shyness. I am just too scared to approach people to talk to them sometimes in fear of rejection or embrassment, espeically girls who I like (and they like me, I just never get it to click). Part of it is me not wanting to talk to them, as I eitehr cannot relate with them or I would just prefer to keep to myself.

I have friends. I have many acquaintences and a few good friends. I almost never go out. I never go to parties, go out with my friends. The most I'll do is go to Mcdonalds or a movie. I don't think I;m anti social, I just prefer to be by myself. Being out, away from my personal space with other people annoys me after a while. I prefer staying at home, jogging, reading, watching tv or playing my Xbox. I am sort of different from many teens my age. I am anti teen drinking, anti drugs, I am a virgin, and my interest is in politics and social issues. I don't own a car and I don't like rap music as many kids do. All of this is a contributing factor as to why people think I am "werid" and anti social.

However from what I understand the term anti social means unwilling to socialize with anyone. If someone brings up a conversation with me, I will engage. If someone asks me for help, I will go otu of my way to help them. So I'm not really avoiding conversation or interaction with people, I just prefer being bymyself and I can't really relate to other people my age. Sometimes I feel pressured to act a certain way just to talk to others, however I know that is not my personality and am much more happy being a "loner".

welcome to the site.

Sounds like Avoidant Personality Disorder to me. I have this myself.
There's nothing wrong with an introverted personality or deciding not to go to parties like "everyone else" - but if your habbits prevent you from doing normal things, there's a problem - like me being very anxious when I have to empty the mailbox outside my apartment, so I don't do it often.
Don't be afraid to share some of the common interests - or better, find a group or something for what interests you. From personal experience, being alone with interests/hobbies/opinions is pretty aimless most of the time.


And, don't start listening to rap music haha, most of the modern stuff is crap

I wouldn't term anti-social as someone unwilling to socialise, rather someone who is actively socially disruptive, eg

Anti-social behaviour (with or without hyphen) is behaviour that lacks consideration for others and that may cause damage to society, whether intentionally or through negligence, as opposed to pro-social behaviour, behaviour that helps or benefits society

Click to expand...

You don't sound particularly unusual, being a loner, especially in your teens, is probably not a big deal. You may be partially avoidant but I doubt you have full blown AvPD or anything like that. I'm sure there are varying levels of SA and AvPD (I myself am sure I have AvPD, though not chronic), so perhaps you have a touch of it - only time will tell.

It does sound like you may have a bit of AvPD. I also have it, but it's only partial. And there's nothing wrong with being introverted, not listening to the same music as other teens, and being anti-drugs/drinking. I'm the same way and people think the same things about me too. I'll admit, it does bother me some, but I'd still rather be different and enjoy being myself instead of doing those things just to "fit in".

if your peers want you to drink, do drugs and be a sex-fiend to fit in with them, they you should look for a new crowd to hang out with.

also, "anti-social" is just a fad term young people abuse on others who don't socialize as much as they want them to. they don't know what they're talking about.

I think you are just introverted do you feel uncomfortable around new ppl or even your friends or is it you get more exhausted after hanging out with people for too long ? I think u will benefit from reading about an introverted personality type I don't think you avpd mayb a bit of s.a but of you like being alone then it's deff a personality trait and there's nothing wrong with that I am in between extroverted and introvert

Hey and welcome. I wouldn't worry about if you are happy. Being happy is all that matters!
You remind me of me a bit, except sometimes I feel I can't relate to anyone atall! You just sound a tad introverted. Maybe sometime you will feel like being more social and when that times comes embrace it. But I am sure everything will click into place with you in time: you sound fine! Aslong as you are happy...

Anti social means you actively do things against society - like fight, vandalise etc.
You mean unsocial / asocial... this means you don't really like/want to being around people all the time.

I don't think you have any psychological or psychiatric issues - you sound like a completely normal introvert. As you get older, and there's less pressure to go out and party etc, youll become more comfortable with yourself.

Social anxiety and the other problems on this board, while varying in degree, are psychiatric/ psychological problems. The symptoms of them are so bad, that they severely impact on day to day life - this is the definition of being diagnosed with these problems, beyond just being shy or an introvert or unsocial.

Everyone feels shy or nervous when talking to someone sometimes - its a normal part of being human. Not everyone likes to go out partying. Most people here are unable to have friends, or talk to people, have an inability for appropriate emotional relationships. Usually they have severe physical and physiological symptoms along with the psychological ones. Its quite distinct to what you describe.

So don't stress and don't try to look for what might be wrong with you, don't try to fit symptoms into a diagnosis. There's nothing 'wrong' with being an introvert - what you are doing is not severely impacting on your day to day life - you don't have to go to parties and want to hang out with others all the time.Youre allowed to be shy in some circumstances - its normal.

Lilly789 makes a good point, shyness is not a problems so long as it isn't chronic to the point where it interferes considerably and disrupts a "regular" way a life.

The finicky thing here is the use of the term "regular". What denotes a regular way of life? Well, to me it seems that a regular way of life, as far as the context of this conversation is concerned, is that one is able to socialize and interact with others at the level which one is able to hold down a job and be self sufficient. In other words, if you're so shy and fearful that you never leave the house and have a job, than you probably don't have a regular life style and are in need of change and possibly some therapy.

well being a teenager that is really introverted and that doesnt like to socialize will almost automatically put you in the 'outsider' category..i was very similar to you in high school and i didnt know what was wrong with me, i just knew i was different from other kids, they liked to party and just hang out and talk, that just tired me..this led to depression and detachment as you feel like a space alien at times as you are so different..thing is, there are other kids your age out there like you but good luck finding them...what i did was i learned better social skills and just learned to 'fit in' when i had to but its very tiring as you are essentially acting like someone else..

people will recommend joining club with your interest in mind but if you dont enjoy socializing, there isnt much point..thats always been and still is my dilemma..

I use to be very much like this, just wanting to keep to myself more but not really being so socially inept. Now im a hermit. You're lucky you can engage in conversation without being obviously weird. Im jealous.
By the way tallgeese was my favorite gundam growing up