SickJoke
Well-known member
I notice a lot of guys struggling with anxiety over what to say. Awkward pauses in the conversation are a big fear. Well I'm here to tell you that it doesn't matter what you say: the actual content of your conversation is almost irrelevant. The words do not matter. What matters is how you say it.
A lot of guys have heard about the studies that've shown that words only account for 7% of communication; the rest is tonality and body language. I don't think this has really sunk in yet for most people: they hear about these studies and then forget about them and continue to live as they were, still worrying "Oh my god, what should I say to this girl," or to my coworker, or whoever.
So let's be clear and then we'll move on: what you say isn't important, it's how you say it. Say it with me folks: "what you say isn't important, it's how you say it."
OK, now we're on the same page. So how can you use this valuable information to your advantage? Simple: communicate in a genuinely positive way, and you will get a genuinely positive response most of the time.
All right let's deal with some objections, because I know some people aren't going to be satisfied with this solution.
Q: This doesn't help at all, now I'm just obsessing over how my nonverbal communication is being perceived.
A: This won't work if you're acting like a shell with no thoughts. There needs to be a congruent attitude behind your communication.
Q: I'm depressed, how do you expect me to be positive?
A: It's your brain and you have the ability to summon any emotion that you want. Think of a time when you were happy, or think of someone else who's a positive person, and take on that persona. Mimic their body language and attitude. It's as simple as that, just do it.
Q: Not everyone responds positively.
A: Some people are assholes who won't reciprocate your positivity, but you don't want those people in your life anyway, so don't even worry about that. Be genuinely positive, and expect a genuinely positive reaction from everyone.
Did this help you or not? Be honest, I want the feedback. I can take criticism, I'm a big boy.
SickJoke
A lot of guys have heard about the studies that've shown that words only account for 7% of communication; the rest is tonality and body language. I don't think this has really sunk in yet for most people: they hear about these studies and then forget about them and continue to live as they were, still worrying "Oh my god, what should I say to this girl," or to my coworker, or whoever.
So let's be clear and then we'll move on: what you say isn't important, it's how you say it. Say it with me folks: "what you say isn't important, it's how you say it."
OK, now we're on the same page. So how can you use this valuable information to your advantage? Simple: communicate in a genuinely positive way, and you will get a genuinely positive response most of the time.
All right let's deal with some objections, because I know some people aren't going to be satisfied with this solution.
Q: This doesn't help at all, now I'm just obsessing over how my nonverbal communication is being perceived.
A: This won't work if you're acting like a shell with no thoughts. There needs to be a congruent attitude behind your communication.
Q: I'm depressed, how do you expect me to be positive?
A: It's your brain and you have the ability to summon any emotion that you want. Think of a time when you were happy, or think of someone else who's a positive person, and take on that persona. Mimic their body language and attitude. It's as simple as that, just do it.
Q: Not everyone responds positively.
A: Some people are assholes who won't reciprocate your positivity, but you don't want those people in your life anyway, so don't even worry about that. Be genuinely positive, and expect a genuinely positive reaction from everyone.
Did this help you or not? Be honest, I want the feedback. I can take criticism, I'm a big boy.
SickJoke
