Virgin males VS virgin females

restless

Member
I just wonder whether there are significant differences between male’s and female’s mind if they are 20 and over and still virgins. I know from my own bitter experience that being male and virgin is a real torture. Nothing cripples more my self-confidence than this fact. Probably it is the same with all males. If I am wrong, please correct me. :wink:
But I wonder what about females. Is it so harassing for them or not so important?
 

RedRibbons

Well-known member
Why is it so awful to be a virgin? I am just wondering. Is it because you get 'excited' and want to have sex? Because even people who aren't virgins get those urges.. Just curious. :p
 

restless

Member
RedRibbons said:
Why is it so awful to be a virgin? I am just wondering. Is it because you get 'excited' and want to have sex? Because even people who aren't virgins get those urges.. Just curious. :p

Well first of all I think because it is against human nature. Call it nature, instinct or whatever you want, but it is stronger than me. And second of all because it makes me feel inferior member of society.

Probably people who aren't virgins have those urges too. No doubt, that to practice sex regularly with person you love is the best possibility. But to my mind even sex for one night is better than nothing.
 

RedRibbons

Well-known member
So I decided to read some about instincts and sex. :p

It seems that women are more selective, and men have a greater urge to spread their wild oats! lol. So.. I am too, wondering if it's more difficult for men to be virgins than women.

I don't know enough about this, so I am gonna read more.

I think though, that it might be different for everyone, male or female. Because there are some people who are disgusted by sex, and then on the other end of the spectrum there are people who want to have as much sex as they can.. I don't know if it's gender specific...
 

DaDahhhhDaDaDa

Active member
That's so damn true, women are way, way more 'selective' *cough* shallow *cough* then men are. Along the list of things women want in men are tall, handsome, muscular, not overweight, great personality, gentlemen and let's not forget having a lot of CASH. What do men want? Sexually Attractive woman who doesn't nag (more often than not you'll get only one of those) :lol: And all those films about being shallow target men. :D
But seriously the female sex drive seems really in excess of what I expected. All they seem to talk about is sex and rate passing guys... which is basically what men do but to a surprising lesser extent.
 

RedRibbons

Well-known member
Erm I read they are more selective because they need to carry a child for nine months and then nurse it for another year or so, after giving birth. That's why, based on "instinct", I would assume women are more selective.

Oh, and that doesn't make a woman more shallow than a man. I think that is also dependent on the PERSON , not their sex. Because on one end of the spectrum you have extremely shallow people, and on the other end, you have people who aren't shallow at all.

**I feel uncomfortable being quoted, just a side note.
 

oxygene

Active member
I think it`s easier for women to handle being a virgin, besides in many societies, it`s a norm that women have to keep their virginity until they get married. The gender roles tell us that the man has to be stronger, dominant and more experienced than the woman. If the man is a virgin, he feels inferior because he thinks he doesn`t fit these norms.

Also, the pop culture that`s pumped by television and all that stuff is another problem that puts pressure on people. It dictates that you have to start dating at age 14, have your first sex before you graduate from highschool and all that stuff, and again if you don`t fit these norms, you feel inferior.
 

DaDahhhhDaDaDa

Active member
I've read something like that too, and yes of course there are exceptions, but I still think women are more shallow. I suppose it just pisses me off that men can be labled as shallow because their attraction is mostly visual. While women can have so many standards for their "Mr. Right" but shallowness is out of the question.
 

Doomed2Die

Well-known member
Other than finding attraction with 'healthy' umm 'specimens', instinct can only go so far. Everything else is additional due to society/culture.

The whole 'oh emm gee, virgin!' thing affected me a while back, now however, I could not really care less. Sex is a huge thing in our society for example, considering that it's all some people think about in life it's no wonder all the spectrums and specifications under it have the potenial for anxieties.

Personally, there are far more interesting and more rewarding things to be considering in life and I'll think about worrying when I find my other half, rather than before.
 

rain_

Member
I'm a 27 year old female virgin and it is not easy. Nothing pisses me off more than guys complaining about how easy women have it and it is just not true. Circumstances differ per sex; each wrestle with their unique group of problems. In any event, being a virgin and how it impacts people varies per person - not gender.
 

zootdroop

Well-known member
I'm male, 32 and a virgin. It personally doesn't bother me a bit being a virgin, it bothers me more not having a partner. Besides I never have met anyone I wanted to have sex with. It's not like I don't like the idea of sex, I do, but I think it's way too overrated, in this society especially. But I never would admit that in real life to anybody, for the same reason I don't tell anybody I don't have a drivers license. It's probably the same for girls as guys, you are seen as strange if you get past a certain age and still a virgin. I don't get why, who cares? When I was in high school I was really disgusted and disturbed by the thoughts and urges I had all the time, I saw them as a weakness, something I had to suppress. I had, and still have, this thing where I see people as weak willed who can't control all these primal urges and instincts, especially when it comes to sex.
 

Bianca

Well-known member
DaDahhhhDaDaDa said:
That's so damn true, women are way, way more 'selective' *cough* shallow *cough* then men are. Along the list of things women want in men are tall, handsome, muscular, not overweight, great personality, gentlemen and let's not forget having a lot of CASH. What do men want? Sexually Attractive woman who doesn't nag (more often than not you'll get only one of those) Laughing And all those films about being shallow target men. Very Happy
But seriously the female sex drive seems really in excess of what I expected. All they seem to talk about is sex and rate passing guys... which is basically what men do but to a surprising lesser extent.

So you must be dating the wrong type of women. Only the shallow women care about those things like money. It just so happens that the shallow women are usually "Sexually Attractive." So YOU have to stop being so shallow and try and find a nice girl who maybe doesn't have the biggest boobs in the world.

rain_ said:
I'm a 27 year old female virgin and it is not easy. Nothing pisses me off more than guys complaining about how easy women have it and it is just not true. Circumstances differ per sex; each wrestle with their unique group of problems. In any event, being a virgin and how it impacts people varies per person - not gender.

This is very true. We really shouldn't try to categorize ourselves buy gender. We are all individual people struggling with the same disorder.
 

A_Void_Ant

Well-known member
It's about the individual, not the gender.

Everyone is different, has different wants, needs, and has been exposed to different things that affect their attitude towards, in this case, sex.
 

DaDahhhhDaDaDa

Active member
Bianca said:
So you must be dating the wrong type of women. Only the shallow women care about those things like money. It just so happens that the shallow women are usually "Sexually Attractive." So YOU have to stop being so shallow and try and find a nice girl who maybe doesn't have the biggest boobs in the world.

The bullshit common misconception that so many women have - that all men like women who have massive boobs. I don't like big, sagging, vainy boobs. I prefer a thin woman who is feminine and has average/small breasts. And why should I go for the woman who doesn't have proper standards? If you don't have at least some standards for the opposite sex, in my opinion, it shows you don't have much confidence in yourself.

I've tried to like these 'nice' women, but I still need to be sexually attracted to make something work. How would I reply when a woman sporting the disgusting hairs of a semi-moustache and unshaven legs asks me why I seem 'down' in an intimate moment? I'd spare myself the awkwardness and walk away.

And I've also realised 'nice' in the terms I know your speaking of, is not so nice as she appears. 'Nice' often coincides with repressed anger and a whole lot of jealousy.
 

Bianca

Well-known member
DaDahhhhDaDaDa said:
Bianca said:
So you must be dating the wrong type of women. Only the shallow women care about those things like money. It just so happens that the shallow women are usually "Sexually Attractive." So YOU have to stop being so shallow and try and find a nice girl who maybe doesn't have the biggest boobs in the world.

The bullshit common misconception that so many women have - that all men like women who have massive boobs. I don't like big, sagging, vainy boobs. I prefer a thin woman who is feminine and has average/small breasts. And why should I go for the woman who doesn't have proper standards? If you don't have at least some standards for the opposite sex, in my opinion, it shows you don't have much confidence in yourself.

I've tried to like these 'nice' women, but I still need to be sexually attracted to make something work. How would I reply when a woman sporting the disgusting hairs of a semi-moustache and unshaven legs asks me why I seem 'down' in an intimate moment? I'd spare myself the awkwardness and walk away.

And I've also realised 'nice' in the terms I know your speaking of, is not so nice as she appears. 'Nice' often coincides with repressed anger and a whole lot of jealousy.

Oh there is nothing wrong having standards. Everyone has them, but I find it funny that when a women is being "selective" she is being shallow. When you are being selective you just have standards.
 

Kien

Well-known member
DaDahhhhDaDaDa said:
The bullshit common misconception that so many women have - that all men like women who have massive boobs.
It's funny when women seems to think that men chooses women by the size of tits.

Oh btw I think it's pretty clear that no one likes saggy tits. ;) It's the big perky ones that are nice.
 

RedRibbons

Well-known member
I think that both women and men have an equal amount of media being shoved in their faces saying, "You should look like this". And enough people around them reaffirming that misconception.

Everyone has their own preference for what they find attractive, when it comes to physical appearance. And! Everyone puts a different amount of value into that, as well. For some people looks aren't important, for others they are.

What you need to do, is look inside yourself, and ask yourself.. "If a man/woman only wants to date me because they find me attractive, are they someone I even want to be with?"

I've asked myself that question in the past, and it tends to diffuse feelings of insecurity, lust, and inadequacy pretty quick... I think I've become more comfortable with my appearance too, over time. :p

Anyway, our bodies don't make us who we are, they're just a vessel to carry what really counts.. Who we are on the inside. :3

I know it's sOoOoOoOoo dorky sounding, but it's true.

Anywho! lolz. Good times. :wink:
 

restless

Member
Actually I have never been guided by what the mainstream dictates. And yes, the men don't rate the women by the size of their tits. I never did this. This is another myth, created by all those TV and movie stuff.
On the other side I am at the stage when I have no right to be very selective. Actually I was somewhat selective in the past. In the high school for instance. The time has past and every past year my criteria for an attractive women widens. :lol: On the contrary every past year I consider myself more and more unattractive. :D
 
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