you can come if you want?

OceanMist

OceanMist

Well-known member
I already know what you mean. somebody told you "you can come if you want." I get why that bothered you. It's the same as saying "we don't care if you come, but if you feel like coming we'll just accept you." It's like a backhanded invitation.

It sucks because when they talk to eachother and invite eachother places they get all excited and joke around with eachother and say stuff like "let's go to so and so."
 
LazyHermitCrab

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
OceanMist said:
I already know what you mean. somebody told you "you can come if you want." I get why that bothered you. It's the same as saying "we don't care if you come, but if you feel like coming we'll just accept you." It's like a backhanded invitation.

It sucks because when they talk to eachother and invite eachother places they get all excited and joke around with eachother and say stuff like "let's go to so and so."
Click to expand...

You're right OceanMist. :p
 
A

Amitush123

Well-known member
Well, if you have any interest in gaining something from the inviter, I say suck it up and go for it. If it's just a friend, let them know that they can't just invite you like an afterthought.
 
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S

Staff

Super Moderator
Staff member
When someone says "You can come if you want," there could be a few different meanings depending on the context and tone of the speaker. Here are a few possibilities:

  • Invitation: The speaker might be inviting you to join them for something, but they don't want to pressure you into coming. They are leaving the decision up to you.
  • Disinterest: The speaker might not be particularly enthusiastic about you coming, but they are being polite and leaving the decision up to you. They might be hoping you'll decline so they don't have to spend time with you.
  • Obligation: The speaker might feel like they should invite you, but they don't really want you to come. This could be because of a sense of duty or obligation, or because they don't want to hurt your feelings by leaving you out.
  • Indifference: The speaker might not really care whether you come or not. They are giving you the option, but they don't have a strong preference one way or the other.
Overall, the meaning of "You can come if you want" really depends on the context and the relationship between the speaker and the person they're addressing. If you're not sure what the speaker means, it might be worth asking for clarification.
 
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