Yikes ... worry. :(

[WriterChick3]

Alright.
Long story short, I befriended that guy from FaceBook that I knew many years ago. I left a message on his Wall despite the fact panic was telling me the bad things of doing it after I befriended him .... from impossible to real. I left the message there yesterday. And a few minutes ago I noticed he deleted it.

Now I'm worried he only befriended me out of pity for only having a few friends on there, or he only wanted his friends-count up (like how it says how many friends you have.) .... Or he only did it because a bad person told him to so I will later on get pranked. Because why would anyone want to be friends with me? Seriously.
Now I'm worried he didn't wanna be friends at all.
Now everyone who knew me from the past who is friends with him is laughing at me -- the pitiful girl with no real-life friends and is pathetic. With only 6 friends on her list.
.... I win Sap Of The Year Award.
I was kinda excited, too, oh well. I'll probably delete my FaceBook account soon, anyway, there's no point in keeping it when nobody gives a crud. All I do is complain on there and doesn't have much interesting stuff to say.

And yes, he's only been on my friends list since yesterday ... but he was either embarassed I posted there, or he only befriended me with no intention of even talking. Maybe he only wants to be cool that he has another girl on his friends list -- who, I may add, is a couple years older than him. Which you'd think would make a guy feel flattered an older chick decided to talk to you out of guys her own age.

 

[Stepan]

I have a simple solution for you - fu*k that freakin facebook!

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Here's my opinion about this. I hope it doesn't sound mean.
I think he accepted your request thinking he didn't really want to be your friend but that nobody would notice you in his list anyway and/or he would feel bad if ignoring.
Then you wrote on his wall and he felt ashamed because you are not a popular person, and he was scared for his reputation, so he deleted it.
In my opinion this is really about his own insecurities. He is not secure enough in the idea that he is cool/popular so he tries to surround himself with popular people and push away the unpopular ones, to comfort him in the idea that he is part of the cool crowd. (Classical behavior among young people, as you probably have noticed)
So, yes, it sucks, but that's the way lots of young people works.
Don't be ashamed of not having lots of friends on facebook. This is a tool to keep in touch with people you care about and who cares about you. It is unecessary, in my opinion, to befriend all sort of random people. If it makes you sad, you shouldn't be using it.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Wow thats kind of rude, perhaps he wasnt comfortable having a public discussion after having no contact with you for so long?

 

[Feathers]

Well, it depends what you wrote
And is your profile visible to all or 'private'?

Maybe you can just make your profile very private (so his friends won't even notice how many friends you have? Not sure if that's doable?) It may be true what Pacific wrote, some people just add others for the numbers - if he ever writes anything on your wall you can erase it too.. You could even be under a nickname? (Like on forums.) Some people know how to change the surname/name there too..

Anyway you can be the cool older chick who doesn't add 'just everyone'.. I know some young people have 400+ friends, but how close do you think they know'em?? And it's better to be more private than telling all your 500+ friends and the universe what you had for breakfast or what silly things you've been up to (?) (Future employers can google up all that!)

I have VERY cool friends (that I like & respect A LOT) and they are very successful in life, and they only have a few 'official' FB friends!! Much more RL friends tho! (some not much more than you, and they've been on FB for a few years! )

So, people have different priorities on FB.. Some just like to keep in touch with a few select friends from other parts of the country/the world...

If you're a bit worried about this guy, don't put on any personal photos, or anything that could be 'used against ya' or any personal info like phone number, address, etc. Be as anonymous as you can be..

Lots of people have just many 'online people' on FB - people they've met through games or forums etc. Or random strangers, non-profits or businesses or celebrities... (How close do you think they are with them?)

About not answering and erasing questions - I must tell you that when I was kinda feeling down, even a simple question like, 'Hey, how are you?' or 'Hey, what have you been up to?' was sometimes 'problematic' for me and I didn't want to answer.. (especially 'in public', like on FB) Especially if there were any sort of mixed feelings involved.. (Maybe he had a crush on you in old times, he he? ) So sometimes I just stayed away from FB... If he's on FB a lot, a simpler solution might be to just erase... (?) Or maybe he just played too much Farmville and it's buried underneath all that?? hmm!!

If you want more FB friends, some people from this forum are on there and appreciate new friends.. You can PM them or me and I'll send you a link to my profile too, if you wish - though I'm there very rarely and don't have a real 'communication strategy' or millions of friends/fans either

Instead of complaining, you can post interesting tidbits you've found online, or fun pictures/photos - some people have a knack for this - I'm still observing and learning too.. inspirational quotes or just little bits of poetry go across well too.. or cool YouTube videos etc.

You can use it as a 'marketing channel' for your future writing.. So you can post about cool books or authors similar to your style maybe? And friend or 'like' bookstores, publishing houses, literary agents, cool writers, etc. Lots of options..
Or maybe just do that in the future, with a pen name or something?

 

[DespairSoul]

Here's my opinion about this. I hope it doesn't sound mean.
I think he accepted your request thinking he didn't really want to be your friend but that nobody would notice you in his list anyway and/or he would feel bad if ignoring.
Then you wrote on his wall and he felt ashamed because you are not a popular person, and he was scared for his reputation, so he deleted it.
In my opinion this is really about his own insecurities. He is not secure enough in the idea that he is cool/popular so he tries to surround himself with popular people and push away the unpopular ones, to comfort him in the idea that he is part of the cool crowd. (Classical behavior among young people, as you probably have noticed)
So, yes, it sucks, but that's the way lots of young people works.
Don't be ashamed of not having lots of friends on facebook. This is a tool to keep in touch with people you care about and who cares about you. It is unecessary, in my opinion, to befriend all sort of random people. If it makes you sad, you shouldn't be using it.

Great post indeed, you are right pacific thats why he did. Writer chick dont worry about him he have prejudices and he dont deserve your company anyway if he accept your request and later he act like that he show up what is for him the most important: Popularity. Young people most of them really fight for be popular all the time they will maybe one day grow up from it.

 

[WriterChick3]

Well, the thing is, I messaged him last week asking if he is who I thought he was. I didn't send the friendship-request; Yesterday I noticed he messaged me back saying he remember me and he sent me the request.

But then after I messaged him back with a nice compliment, I also put that message on his Wall of 'Hey, what's up?' because I didn't want to seem weird that we suddenly became friends. The thought of befriending someone and not leaving a message seems kinda odd to me, I don't know why. But apparently not everyone thinks this.

And @Feathers: My account is set to private. I don't know if my friends-page is visible to everyone, though.

Quick update: I just checked it, and people can see all the friends I have on there.

:/

 

[coyote]

Here's my opinion about this. I hope it doesn't sound mean.
I think he accepted your request thinking he didn't really want to be your friend but that nobody would notice you in his list anyway and/or he would feel bad if ignoring.
Then you wrote on his wall and he felt ashamed because you are not a popular person, and he was scared for his reputation, so he deleted it.
In my opinion this is really about his own insecurities. He is not secure enough in the idea that he is cool/popular so he tries to surround himself with popular people and push away the unpopular ones, to comfort him in the idea that he is part of the cool crowd. (Classical behavior among young people, as you probably have noticed)
So, yes, it sucks, but that's the way lots of young people works.
Don't be ashamed of not having lots of friends on facebook. This is a tool to keep in touch with people you care about and who cares about you. It is unecessary, in my opinion, to befriend all sort of random people. If it makes you sad, you shouldn't be using it.

brilliant - everyone on the forum should read this

 

[lunaticbinge]

This totally reminds me of that South Park episode. Like the number of friends you have in farcebook equates to your self worth.

 

[WriterChick3]

Here's my opinion about this. I hope it doesn't sound mean.
I think he accepted your request thinking he didn't really want to be your friend but that nobody would notice you in his list anyway and/or he would feel bad if ignoring.
Then you wrote on his wall and he felt ashamed because you are not a popular person, and he was scared for his reputation, so he deleted it.
In my opinion this is really about his own insecurities. He is not secure enough in the idea that he is cool/popular so he tries to surround himself with popular people and push away the unpopular ones, to comfort him in the idea that he is part of the cool crowd. (Classical behavior among young people, as you probably have noticed)
So, yes, it sucks, but that's the way lots of young people works.
Don't be ashamed of not having lots of friends on facebook. This is a tool to keep in touch with people you care about and who cares about you. It is unecessary, in my opinion, to befriend all sort of random people. If it makes you sad, you shouldn't be using it.

It kinda makes sence to me. I mean, I know I haven't seen him for a while ... but I highly doubt he's become unpopular since then.
When I knew him he was pretty busy with stuff, had a lot of friends, very social. So maybe he thought I'd be more cool or something.
If this is true about him, I'll probably end up moving from the area sooner than planned. I hate embarassment and if someone makes me feel like an idiot (since I already hate myself in general) I want to run and never look back.

 

[WriterChick3]

This totally reminds me of that South Park episode. Like the number of friends you have in farcebook equates to your self worth.

I think I remember this one.
Was this the episode when Kyle befriended that kid from another class, and the kid was really excited and sat there waiting for replies -- and Kyle was losing friends?

Sorry for the double-post.

 

[lunaticbinge]

I think I remember this one.
Was this the episode when Kyle befriended that kid from another class, and the kid was really excited and sat there waiting for replies -- and Kyle was losing friends?

Yep. Kyle started losing friends because he was friends with a Facebook "loser".

 

[WriterChick3]

Yep. Kyle started losing friends because he was friends with a Facebook "loser".

That was a funny one ...
Sorry to keep bothering people with this, but now I'm wondering if I should message him and ask why exactly he wanted to be friends on there.

Maybe I'm better off just being alone. Like, meeting people in real life but never making real friendships; I'd love a few friends, but something tells me I wouldn't make an interesting person to hangout with.
Especially since I'm not your average teenager and think differently about things.

 

[panicsurvivor]

Facebook loser? Wow I didn't know people took facebook so seriously. I don't know anybody who takes facebook seriously in real life. I agree wholeheartedly with pacificloner. If FACEBOOK is causing you pain, stop using it. Me and all my friends use it, because now that we are in our thirties it is a good way to keep in touch with our friends who have moved away. But most of my friends make fun of it, and the people that use it a lot. People put every stupid brainfart that they have on facebook. And then there are those people that try to get as many facebook friends as they can. Why? I don't see the point. I have a bunch of facebook friends that are people that I barely knew in high school, and I laughed when I got requests from them. I think you should spend more time on here. I am closer with my SPW friends than I am with most of my facebook friends. And some of them use to be real life friends. Usually for me, facebook is like going to one of those parties where you say the same thing over and over again to everyone. On this site I have much more meaningful exchanges.

 

[Feathers]

WriterChick, no no no, don't write to him.. Ignore him, or block/de-friend him if necessary, or stop using FB (but after a little while, so it won't look like he made you go away or something..) Depends what kind of friends you two were before, if at all.. (and what you wrote him, hehe..)

You ARE an interesting person, just maybe don't have so much in common with this person? Some people also maybe just grow apart... Or become too different or something.. (Or maybe there's something on your profile that teenage boys can be embarassed over.. Like you're a member of some group that isn't seen as 'cool' in his clique or something.. Some people online eg hate Twilight or fans of such books etc. - But don't erase it just to please him or anyone else!! You are who you are!! Just wanted to say there can be other possibilities, it may have even nothing to do with you..)

I didn't know people could obsess over FB so much either,

Kyle started losing friends because he was friends with a Facebook "loser".

That's not healthy!! lol!! FB should be banned (at least for people without some level of maturity! But our neighbours' kids are on FB too, some are VERY young!! ugh!)

If you want to look 'cool' just pretend you're too busy to even notice he erased ya! my opinion: this guy is not worth worrying over!!

It's like in RL: if he'll see you have interesting conversations with other people or post interesting/cool pics or video, he may hit 'like' or come take a look, otherwise, just assume he's a 'distant FB friend' and nothing else... 'ignore' (?)

 

[WriterChick3]

Facebook loser? Wow I didn't know people took facebook so seriously. I don't know anybody who takes facebook seriously in real life. I agree wholeheartedly with pacificloner. If FACEBOOK is causing you pain, stop using it. Me and all my friends use it, because now that we are in our thirties it is a good way to keep in touch with our friends who have moved away. But most of my friends make fun of it, and the people that use it a lot. People put every stupid brainfart that they have on facebook. And then there are those people that try to get as many facebook friends as they can. Why? I don't see the point. I have a bunch of facebook friends that are people that I barely knew in high school, and I laughed when I got requests from them. I think you should spend more time on here. I am closer with my SPW friends than I am with most of my facebook friends. And some of them use to be real life friends. Usually for me, facebook is like going to one of those parties where you say the same thing over and over again to everyone. On this site I have much more meaningful exchanges.

Yeah, but I just wish I could make a friend or two in real life. But I'm either destined not to have any, or I'll end up making friends somewhere else where people will appreciate who I am.
It also occured to me earlier that on my FaceBook profile I have 'vampires, werewolves, ghosts, fairies, zombies and Greek mythology' listed on my interests page and that I'm in to Gothic fiction. Maybe that's a turn off to some people ..... Especially since he's a Christian. (No offense to anyone here who may be a Christian -- most Christian's I know deem those things as bad. Except me. And I'm a Christian!)
Maybe I'll have to move somewhere where people will appreciate my cynical mind and odd/dark-humor.
New Zealand still sounds nice .... I hear it rains a lot there.

But yeah, I feel like I can say things here without being made fun of about my odd behaviors or sad-moments .... A lot of people may not get it in real life.
Of course, I also feel like people here are either annoyed by me or simply don't like me. But that's how I think. :/

WriterChick, no no no, don't write to him.. Ignore him, or block/de-friend him if necessary, or stop using FB (but after a little while, so it won't look like he made you go away or something..) Depends what kind of friends you two were before, if at all.. (and what you wrote him, hehe..)

You ARE an interesting person, just maybe don't have so much in common with this person? Some people also maybe just grow apart... Or become too different or something.. (Or maybe there's something on your profile that teenage boys can be embarassed over.. Like you're a member of some group that isn't seen as 'cool' in his clique or something.. Some people online eg hate Twilight or fans of such books etc. - But don't erase it just to please him or anyone else!! You are who you are!! Just wanted to say there can be other possibilities, it may have even nothing to do with you..)

He won't find any Twilight stuff there, trust me. XD Actually, I don't think there's much there for a guy to be embarassed about. Unless he's embarassed I love Spider-Man and Gothic stuff and have a fascination with New Zealand and England. And the fact I'm not like most teenagers (I like silent films, black & white films, and I don't have a-hundred friends to laugh with!)

I must be such a loser. (Sarcasm)
I think I will give it time, though, because I think he is a busy guy and he may not visit FaceBook that much .... But if he doesn't say anything within a certain amount of time I'll figure something out.

 

[philly2bits]

I have a simple solution for you - fu*k that freakin facebook!

As crude as it is, I agree with him. If it upsets you so much to be on the the site than stop. There is no reason in getting stressed out just to do what everyone else is doing. If the site and it's culture don't mix with who you are, then leave it. You'll be a better person for it if you don't betray yourself just to "belong."

 

[WriterChick3]

As crude as it is, I agree with him. If it upsets you so much to be on the the site than stop. There is no reason in getting stressed out just to do what everyone else is doing. If the site and it's culture don't mix with who you are, then leave it. You'll be a better person for it if you don't betray yourself just to "belong."

Well, I would leave, but there's a girl there who I don't know personally (I've known her online for a while) who tries to help me and can kind of understand me (She and I like some of the same stuff, etc.) so I don't wanna leave FaceBook because I may want to keep in touch with her.

But I also have a thing that .... I enjoy filling out survey-esque things. And that goes for my interests page and profile.
That probably sounds like I'm self-obsessed, but I like filling out 'About Me' things. lol.

 

[philly2bits]

Well, I would leave, but there's a girl there who I don't know personally (I've known her online for a while) who tries to help me and can kind of understand me (She and I like some of the same stuff, etc.) so I don't wanna leave FaceBook because I may want to keep in touch with her.

But I also have a thing that .... I enjoy filling out survey-esque things. And that goes for my interests page and profile.
That probably sounds like I'm self-obsessed, but I like filling out 'About Me' things. lol.

If you don't want to leave than start using the site on your terms. Don't give to popular pressure. Don't post on people's walls because that's what is expected. Don't "like" everything people send you just to do it. Be your own person on facebook.

 

[WriterChick3]

Hey, everyone, I just wanted to give an update:

You were all right. He was only trying to be nice, he didn't mean it. And, in my words, he is a complete ... insert whatever word you'd like.
Now I realize why I'm better off without friends -- less drama and angst. I have enough crud to deal with, minus friends.

Now I'm trying to figure out how I can make him feel guilty. I am not this kinda person who wants revenge, but I don't like someone lying to me, either. I asked him why he befriended me, he answered in a way that made me feel like it was out of pity, and so I feel rather peeved.