yikes! nervous!!!

[agoraphobickatie]

okay y'all.. i have a 'date' tonight :: but i'm FREAKING out!

me and this guy haven't met yet, we just have a lot of mutual friends and we've been talking for a few weeks and so now it's time to meet up.. he's freakin' adorable, we have a lot in common, i feel like i could really seriously like this guy... i haven't told him about my anxiety/agoraphobia but i probably will tonight.. i'm not worried about those kinds of things though, i know we'll have things to talk about, and i'm an open person, i always tell people about my anxiety and feel fine about it.. i guess the agoraphobic part of me is what's making me so nervous.. i'm scared i won't feel good! ugh!! it's such a pain, i worry about getting there and getting panicky or having a panic attack, or my stomach hurting or me having to go to the bathroom or something.. i worry i'll get there and just want to run and he'll be like "wtf?".. i go through these thoughts all the time when i go places, but usually it's with my friends and i feel comfortable with them, this is a new person so i don't want to freak him out or something.. in my head, i know that i'll be okay, but it's the anxiety that is killing me right now.. and i feel like if i just let it build and build then i probably will feel yucky on the date......

so i need you guys to talk me down or something! i don't even know.. i guess i just needed to get all of my worries written out.. anyone have any good positivity to spread? some suggesstions to chill me the hell out or better things to think about?? lol..

sorry, this post is all over the place.. my head is all over the place right now!

 

[anxiety1408]

Im happy for you, I hope you have a lovely night sweetheart =) Its alright to feel nervous before a date everyone feels it, I assure you even he is feeling it to an extent, I remember my first date I was very nervous on my way out and thinking of everything that could happen and what if there was nothing left to talk about etc But when I got there Everything just happened naturally I didn't feel at unease and I talked as much as I did online, It was an amazing feeling. If you really like someone and you have lots in common thats awesome, I wish you the best of luck and I hope you have a fab time! And remember everyone feels nervous.

 

[Feathers]

YAY for the date!!

Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to feel good on a date, you just have to get through with it - sometimes thinking like this helps?
Like it's an 'assignment' and later on you'll have fun?
(Usually you have fun meanwhile anyway, just in case, you can tell yourself you're just opening your horizons, meeting new people..)

I like to think all 'networking' events or such as 'assignment' to have to go through with it (for the eco projects or whatever) and usually end up having fun anyway!
If you're unfamiliar with the place, you can say your assignment is to get to know the place better, and next time it will be wayy easier...

Even if you do go to the bathroom, some girls go to bathroom a lot, some to just adjust their powder or mascara... So I don't think it would be very suspicious.. And you could bring a tiny journal in your purse, to journal things in, if necessary.. (writing stuff down helps me calm)

You could also go to a double date with your friends, don't recommend going with a Miss World or something though!
Though maybe you could be a Miss World contestant yourself, hmm? nevermind

Make sure you eat a little bit too, even if you're meeting for dinner.. I'm super-nervous if hungry, food helps me calm down too

I think it's best to mostly concentrate on interesting topics, what you both like & are interested in.. Well, you can briefly mention ap and like it's being worked on, you've made great progress already, no?

Practise feeling happy by thinking of - PINEAPPLES or other random fun or cool images or places? Hawaii? Let's tell a story thread? Fife_girl?

You're a really gorgeous and awesome person, so I think you'll be allright!!

Can you arrange to meet with your friends afterwards, so you'll be calmer? Just imagine the relief afterwards, and the pleasant feeling..?

 

[Feathers]

Oh, and I have dating phobia too, just reading about it makes me nervous lol.. Though I'm sure you'll do fine..

I prefer to just 'meet up' and not call it anything, lol...

 

[arsenalwa]

Me giving advice about a date would be like a beauty queen giving advice about farming; so I'll just wish you good luck

 

[agoraphobickatie]

big big thanks to you all!!

feathers, that was such great advice you're very sweet! and i agree, i prefer to just 'meet up', too! we're just eating at chick-fil-a! lmao, which is my favorite restaurant.. i'm cheap and simple, he asked what my favorite food was and i said chick-fil-a! (which is just a nice fast food place, for those who don't have CFA in their area, lol) anyway.. i'm just going to meet him there, so that's good.. and you're right, most people are nervous... it's just a pain feeling the anxiety, ya know? just wish i could be 'nervous' and it'd be simple to get over it like other people, lol!!

i'm trying to stay positive and tell myself to just push through it! thank you to everyone again for being so nice!

 

[Feathers]

lol Remind me when I'm in a similar situation! I'll be all frenzied I guess... (I usually was, ha ha..)

What really helped me was a book called The Rules, it's supposed to be really controversial but can be good for a shy person who doesn't have a clue..
A friend of mine got so encouraged by it she later got married with a guy she met and dated, just after reading a few chapters!
It's not the ultimate dating book and there are probably better ones out there, it was really helpful at the time lol.. There's stuff online too, if you google it..

 

[DekKO]

I think you'll do fine. If you have things to talk about then there should be no awkward silences which I seem to have all the time. You're definitely thinking about it too much and that's alright. I would be so nervous on my first date too but you already seem to know him pretty well since you've been talking to him for a few weeks. Good luck and tell him to wear a condom lol jk

 

[Feathers]

How did it go?

The curious minds want to know!!