Y do so many ppl view a forum but never reply?
- Thread starter yay
- Start date
Richey
Well-known member
yay! you need to remember that its a "social anxiety" forum and many people do read what you've written and may have a response in their head, perhaps your message or anyones message may not always relate to them....so they dont feel like they can give advice that hasnt already been mentioned
its perfectly logical to me, i mean all forums are the same anyway, and if your really after that sort of thing then a different forum may give you what your after.
i remember you saying that you've recovered from SA ...thats brilliant but maybe your newly found confidence might make you forget that there may also be some people that arnt at your recovered stage just yet.
most threads are responded to and for the ones that werent responded to....
its a site for people who struggle with being opinionated ....some may have a serious case of social phobia not just social anxiety.
if you get me?
its perfectly logical to me, i mean all forums are the same anyway, and if your really after that sort of thing then a different forum may give you what your after.
i remember you saying that you've recovered from SA ...thats brilliant but maybe your newly found confidence might make you forget that there may also be some people that arnt at your recovered stage just yet.
most threads are responded to and for the ones that werent responded to....
its a site for people who struggle with being opinionated ....some may have a serious case of social phobia not just social anxiety.
if you get me?
Vincent
Banned
feedback
i agree,
I pour my guts out on this forum.... when I get little response, I find it hard not to take personally. Is it because I don't really phrase what I write as a question, instead its more a stream of consciousness? I wish more people would write a SOC too. Then I think that its perhaps I don't write on this forum as much. Its usually when Im feeling especially alienated or weakened from intense exposure.
If people are shy about contributing on this forum because of SA. Make it a goal to get beyond it. Because realistically, this is a step that needs to be taken before moving on.
Sometimes I feel that writing here and hitting "Submit" is like screaming into the black nights. There are too few snowflakes shaken from the heavens. Angels, wrest us who would cry with your beauty.
i agree,
I pour my guts out on this forum.... when I get little response, I find it hard not to take personally. Is it because I don't really phrase what I write as a question, instead its more a stream of consciousness? I wish more people would write a SOC too. Then I think that its perhaps I don't write on this forum as much. Its usually when Im feeling especially alienated or weakened from intense exposure.
If people are shy about contributing on this forum because of SA. Make it a goal to get beyond it. Because realistically, this is a step that needs to be taken before moving on.
Sometimes I feel that writing here and hitting "Submit" is like screaming into the black nights. There are too few snowflakes shaken from the heavens. Angels, wrest us who would cry with your beauty.
charlieHungerford
Well-known member
yay said:
I agree it is demoralising when you write a long post, whether it is wanting advice or to talk about something that happened, or whether its wanting to find answers in overcoming SA and you write your thoughts and no one replies.
I don't think one should take it personally because I often read posts and if a post does not interest me or is something that I can't relate to, I will not reply, I will read more posts until I find a post that is interesting for what I am thinking about and have issues about and is something I want to discuss. I think the people who you want to discuss things with because they have thoughts on your topic will find your posts and reply and that is for the best because I know I have nothing of interest to write about on posts that do not interest me or that I can't relate to.
But what I would say is that I think if you read a post that you have thoughts on and does interest you, you really should try and respond because if that person who doesn't reply was to write a post they would want people to write if they had thoughts on it. In real life we are pretty much alone in terms of how we suffer, we don't have lots of people to discuss these issues we have with and we may be embarrassed discussing these things.
Its a very good point you make Yay.
charlieHungerford
Well-known member
Tryin said:
That is a really good point. I have found that I have had to delete posts in order to write new posts to messages I really want to reply to. It does restrict the flow of discussion. I think this rule should be reconsidered, I mean I don't know why this rule is in place, maybe some heavy stuff went down before, but maybe even if the restrictions were 10 posts a day, that would make a big difference.
I like how this forum is moderated from what I have seen, it is so cool, no one seems to be playing a power trip, mods do not put a dampner on your posts and make you feel you are not allowed to argue your point back, people are treat like adults and you can just get on with posting. So I don't want to be critical of this restriction, I am just glad to be posting somewhere I feel happy to post and am somewhat respected. But easing the restriction would be great in a trial period?
WhiskeyJack
Well-known member
Im definetly one of the people that read alot of topics but dont reply too often. These topics do interest me but alot of the time i have nothing helpful to add.
I find myself agreeing with nearly all the posts or remembering times when i did something similar to the posted topic. But does sympathising or agreeing with a topic really help?
People find it easy to give advice about others problems, yet if that person was faced with the same situation, they are just as lost.
I find myself agreeing with nearly all the posts or remembering times when i did something similar to the posted topic. But does sympathising or agreeing with a topic really help?
People find it easy to give advice about others problems, yet if that person was faced with the same situation, they are just as lost.
pinkputter
Well-known member
I definitely know what you mean! Some times if i have a question and start the topic, and like 40 people look at it, and only 2 reply, and the replies arent helpful, i get discouraged and wish i could know what those other people thought!
That part of not replying is REALLY aggirvating...
But I kinda know what WhiskyJack is saying. I dont always reply when I couldnt add anything else to the discussion...
But ive definitely seen people with legit questions, and no one responds even though they look at them, and I dont understand why.
I think we can all do a better job with looking for people with questions or that need advice, because if we're going thru the same thing, hopefully we'd all want to help each other!
That part of not replying is REALLY aggirvating...
But I kinda know what WhiskyJack is saying. I dont always reply when I couldnt add anything else to the discussion...
But ive definitely seen people with legit questions, and no one responds even though they look at them, and I dont understand why.
I think we can all do a better job with looking for people with questions or that need advice, because if we're going thru the same thing, hopefully we'd all want to help each other!
van_sp
Active member
Most people would rather see posts that aren't so helpful, than none at all. Even if it's just "I agree", "I can relate", "I'm similar, but", "I disagree", etc, it's better than dead space. People like to be heard. And a response, any response, is the best way to demonstrate that.
Xaviera_Hollander
Member
There's a restriction on the number of posts that you can make in a day? 8O Maybe people are afraid to start posting for fear of running outTryin said:
ShiJai
Well-known member
It's not always as easy as some people think to answer a post. I read posts regularly, and often have thoughts I consider writing...
But then I get scared that maybe what I have to say is stupid, irrelevant, or just simply too embarrassing. It does no good to tell myself that others experience the same feelings and thoughts, it just doesn't feel possible.
But then, that's why I read the posts. The more I read, the more relaxed I begin to feel, and capable of contributing. The problem for everyone else it would seem however, is that this takes time, and is not something that disappears after just one experience, or even two, three, or four...
I'm very sorry for those who feel frustrated or lonely by low responses. I don't know what to say other than to ask for patience for those of us who struggle a little more than perhaps others.
My silence is my fear getting the better of me, not a judgment upon anyone else.
ShiJai. :?
But then I get scared that maybe what I have to say is stupid, irrelevant, or just simply too embarrassing. It does no good to tell myself that others experience the same feelings and thoughts, it just doesn't feel possible.
But then, that's why I read the posts. The more I read, the more relaxed I begin to feel, and capable of contributing. The problem for everyone else it would seem however, is that this takes time, and is not something that disappears after just one experience, or even two, three, or four...
I'm very sorry for those who feel frustrated or lonely by low responses. I don't know what to say other than to ask for patience for those of us who struggle a little more than perhaps others.
My silence is my fear getting the better of me, not a judgment upon anyone else.
ShiJai. :?
I think there is a certain fear of looking like an idiot when posting something, which is often blown out of proportion in the mind of someone who has social anxiety. The other thing is that SA encompasses such a wide range of disorders that a single post will never ring true for everyone, maybe not even 20% of people who read it. I notice this is especially true for me in that I have very specific characteristics which mark my type of anxiety, and I figure the bulk of people here will not have these exact same problems.
van_sp
Active member
ShiJai said:
Thx for explaining ShiJai, I guess I'm desensitized to posting in forums, I have done a LOT of it.
I think if you are a person who is ultra sensitive to what people think in this forum, this place could be good practice grounds to prep you for real world encounters.
If you are one of those people reading this right now, I hope it makes you feel better to hear me personally say, "I want to hear what you have to say...whether it helps me or not. I like your interaction in this forum. And every response is like opening a tiny present"