would you marry for money

[mrb]

now today we moved this woman , she was about 22 very chatty , quite good looking , she moved out of a tiny rented house with her 3 small children , we loaded up all her furniture and she gave us the address to go to , so we drove there , when we got there our eyes nearly popped out of our heads the house she moved into was massive , 6 bedrooms , tennis court , outside swimming pool , lots of land with stables for horses , i said blimey girl you won the lottery she said no i met this man in a pub , looking quite lonely on his own , so i started chatting to him , he was very nice and we get on very well one thing let to another and he asked me after 6 months to move in with him so here i am moving in .... i said oh thats great you have really fallen on your feet here , i said lucky in love eh .... she said well dunno about love and laughed , but she said he treats me and the kids great , and for me thats enough , my ex she said was mean and horrible this guy puts him to shame ... i might fall in love with him she said , all i know is ill never hurt him , and he will never hurt me , so im happy she said ...... and were getting married soon she said , seems like shes getting married for the money , and security , is that wrong ? would you do it .....? ......

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

now today we moved this woman , she was about 22 very chatty , quite good looking , she moved out of a tiny rented house with her 3 small children , we loaded up all her furniture and she gave us the address to go to , so we drove there , when we got there our eyes nearly popped out of our heads the house she moved into was massive , 6 bedrooms , tennis court , outside swimming pool , lots of land with stables for horses , i said blimey girl you won the lottery she said no i met this man in a pub , looking quite lonely on his own , so i started chatting to him , he was very nice and we get on very well one thing let to another and he asked me after 6 months to move in with him so here i am moving in .... i said oh thats great you have really fallen on your feet here , i said lucky in love eh .... she said well dunno about love and laughed , but she said he treats me and the kids great , and for me thats enough , my ex she said was mean and horrible this guy puts him to shame ... i might fall in love with him she said , all i know is ill never hurt him , and he will never hurt me , so im happy she said ...... and were getting married soon she said , seems like shes getting married for the money , and security , is that wrong ? would you do it .....? ......

I give it 5 years max, before it turns into a train wreck. She'll get used to the money and lifestyle, and then she'll realise she can't spend every day of the rest of her life with this guy, nice though he may be. Then she'll meet someone she does love (or at least is a lot more attracted to than she is to Mr Six-Bedroom-House) and the trouble will really start. It will all end acrimoniously, with lots of people getting hurt, saddest of all being the kids, who probably will have come to see this guy as a father, and ironically will love him.

I would only ever marry because I loved the other person, and didn't want to ever be apart from them.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

There were times when I thought that if my marriage didn't work, I would marry for money if the prospect of marriage ever came up. I was thinking all of this more out of bitterness at the idea that my marriage would fail and that I would probably never find a good man anywhere else.

The problem with marrying for money is that I know that I'd be miserable if I ever had to be with someone whom I did not love... so marrying for money would be pointless. There have been times when I was happy in my marriage even if we didn't have much of anything. However, I would rather be rich and unhappy than poor an unhappy. So if I had to choose between being with a rich ******* and a poor @sshole...I'd go with the rich *******.

 

[mrb]

I give it 5 years max, before it turns into a train wreck. She'll get used to the money and lifestyle, and then she'll realise she can't spend every day of the rest of her life with this guy, nice though he may be. Then she'll meet someone she does love (or at least is a lot more attracted to than she is to Mr Six-Bedroom-House) and the trouble will really start. It will all end acrimoniously, with lots of people getting hurt, saddest of all being the kids, who probably will have come to see this guy as a father, and ironically will love him.

I would only ever marry because I loved the other person, and didn't want to ever be apart from them.

but she didnt rule out falling in love with him, maybe 6 months for her is not enough to know someone enough to fall in love , dunno but they did seem very happy together , lots of kisses ect you must remember she has been hurt in the past , and when people have been hurt , they tend to be a little more cautious with there feelings , not wanting to get hurt again ect i think they have a great chance of being ok , well thats my view anyways ........

 

[Scared2live]

NO I WOULD NOT MARRY FOR MONEY!!!!!! Money goes away, but true love doesn't, and if I never find true love, it would be better than marrying for money.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

but she didnt rule out falling in love with him, maybe 6 months for her is not enough to know someone enough to fall in love , dunno

Then if she doesn't know if she could fall in love with him, she shouldn't be marrying him. She should be waiting until she does know.

but they did seem very happy together , lots of kisses ect you must remember she has been hurt in the past , and when people have been hurt , they tend to be a little more cautious with there feelings , not wanting to get hurt again ect i think they have a great chance of being ok , well thats my view anyways ........

Getting married to a guy she's only known six months, and the fact that she laughed off your suggestion of being in love, doesn't sound very cautious to me. I don't know. The obvious question would seem to be "why the hurry?". Why not date for another six months, or a year, and see if they both still want to go ahead and get married. But I think we already know why. He's a lonely guy who wants to be with someone, and she sees him as financial security with the possibility that something might "blossom" later. Maybe it will - I hope so for all their sakes. But I think the odds are against it. ::

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

but she didnt rule out falling in love with him, maybe 6 months for her is not enough to know someone enough to fall in love , dunno but they did seem very happy together , lots of kisses ect you must remember she has been hurt in the past , and when people have been hurt , they tend to be a little more cautious with there feelings , not wanting to get hurt again ect i think they have a great chance of being ok , well thats my view anyways ........

As long as the woman isn't out to use him for his money then I don't see the problem. Love develops over time anyway so it's not a big deal if there is no love six months into a relationship. I've been told that smart women marry for money and stupid women marry for love. Belive me, I've often thought of myself as the latter.

A former girlfriend found herself a rich older man when she was about nineteen. She was miserable, but she didn't care because she figured that she would rather be miserable, live in a penthouse and own a closet full of designer clothes than be in love with and get hurt by another broke man.

 

[mrb]

Then if she doesn't know if she could fall in love with him, she shouldn't be marrying him. She should be waiting until she does know.



Getting married to a guy she's only known six months, and the fact that she laughed off your suggestion of being in love, doesn't sound very cautious to me. I don't know. The obvious question would seem to be "why the hurry?". Why not date for another six months, or a year, and see if they both still want to go ahead and get married. But I think we already know why. He's a lonely guy who wants to be with someone, and she sees him as financial security with the possibility that something might "blossom" later. Maybe it will - I hope so for all their sakes. But I think the odds are against it. ::

she laughed i think is more to do with her personality she giggles and laughs at evreything mate its just the way she is laugh laugh prob half the reason he fell for her .... and as you say i hope things work out for them as well ....

 

[EasySkanking]

I think women would marry for money more often than men. Men would marry for good looks more often than women though... I don't know, I think it is just things that both sexes are attracted to as well? Women like security... men like a "trophy" companion?

 

[mrb]

As long as the woman isn't out to use him for his money then I don't see the problem. Love develops over time anyway so it's not a big deal if there is no love six months into a relationship. I've been told that smart women marry for money and stupid women marry for love. Belive me, I've often thought of myself as the latter.

A former girlfriend found herself a rich older man when she was about nineteen. She was miserable, but she didn't care because she figured that she would rather be miserable, live in a penthouse and own a closet full of designer clothes than be in love with and get hurt by another broke man.

yea and when he dies she will be loaded 2 gun

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Then if she doesn't know if she could fall in love with him, she shouldn't be marrying him. She should be waiting until she does know.

Should she really? Why should she and who dictates this? There are plenty of people who are in relationships or marriages (not for money or security) and are not in love. Being in love and loving someone are two different things. A person can end up loving a person whom they were never in love with.

Getting married to a guy she's only known six months, and the fact that she laughed off your suggestion of being in love, doesn't sound very cautious to me. I don't know. The obvious question would seem to be "why the hurry?". Why not date for another six months, or a year, and see if they both still want to go ahead and get married. But I think we already know why. He's a lonely guy who wants to be with someone, and she sees him as financial security with the possibility that something might "blossom" later. Maybe it will - I hope so for all their sakes. But I think the odds are against it. ::

So it's bad to marry someone for money but it's acceptable to marry because a person is lonely? We can't truly know that this woman is just using the man for his money just as we can't know that this guy is marrying out of loneliness. Sure, we can speculate that the woman has dishonest intentions, but can we judge for sure when we do not know?

 

[mrb]

I think women would marry for money more often than men. Men would marry for good looks more often than women though... I don't know, I think it is just things that both sexes are attracted to as well? Women like security... men like a "trophy" companion?

thats why footballers over here go through so many divorces , as you say a trophy wife , the papers over here in england are full of some footballers wife leaving them , cos they cant keep in in there pants , those guys are on 130 thousand a week so women throw themselves at them , i really wouldnt want to be a footballers wife there called wags over here , funny thing is lots of girls want to be a wag , but if they knew what is was like to be a wag , they probably wouldnt bother , but then having said that some girls just love the glory of it all , being in the papers ect ... plus the unlimited credit card

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Should she really? Why should she and who dictates this? There are plenty of people who are in relationships or marriages (not for money or security) and are not in love. Being in love and loving someone are two different things. A person can end up loving a person whom they were never in love with.

Well I didn't really mean "in love" in the fairytale sense. I meant she should feel some kind of love or caring for him. Of course, neither of us know this woman, or her mind. We've only got MrB's reporting of the situation to go off, but the indication seems to be that she hasn't known this guy for long and the financial security is a major factor. Both those things ring alarm bells for me. But like I say, I hope I'm wrong.

So it's bad to marry someone for money but it's acceptable to marry because a person is lonely?

No, it's equally ill-advised in my opinion. In fact, it may well be that he stands to lose more here (both emotionally and financially) than she does.

We can't truly know that this woman is just using the man for his money just as we can't know that this guy is marrying out of loneliness. Sure, we can speculate that the woman has dishonest intentions, but can we judge for sure when we do not know?

I deliberately didn't suggest that she was a "gold digger" because, as you say, we don't know that she is. She may well be going into this hoping that it will work out as a stable long term relationship. But doesn't it seem to have "convenience" written all over it? For both parties?

As I said, I hope it works out for everyone's sake, but my gut feeling is that it won't.

 

[mrb]

anyways im going off topic , im sticking up for the girl i think they will be happy long term , i liked her , she made me a cup of tea and my mate so there

 

[Danfalc]

anyways im going off topic , im sticking up for the girl i think they will be happy long term , i liked her , she made me a cup of tea and my mate so there

I kinda thing it's quite a sweet story and don't think it's wrong.It might not be the fairytale ending most people wan't but if they are happy and can make it work despite not being in Love,then more power to them.

Even if she doesn't love him,I would assume she at least likes him from what she has said and least she is honest about it.I'm sure he knows where he stands and is quite happy with the deal so who are we to judge.He get's a wife who will look after him,companionship and she get's a guy who will support her and hopefully not take her for granted.sounds good to me.

 

[mrb]

I kinda thing it's quite a sweet story and don't think it's wrong.It might not be the fairytale ending most people wan't but if they are happy and can make it work despite not being in Love,then more power to them.

Even if she doesn't love him,I would assume she at least likes him from what she has said and least she is honest about it.I'm sure he knows where he stands and is quite happy with the deal so who are we to judge.He get's a wife who will look after him,companionship and she get's a guy who will support her and hopefully not take her for granted.sounds good to me.

true mate , and whos to say love wont follow i think it will , as i said she has been hurt in the past , bad relationship ect ... she might be just being cautious with her feelings ... and she makes great tea the way to an englishmans heart is a nice cup of tea

 

[evi]

Right now - absolutely

 

[mrb]

Right now - absolutely

the swimming pool awaits jump in enjoy lol

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Well I didn't really mean "in love" in the fairytale sense. I meant she should feel some kind of love or caring for him. Of course, neither of us know this woman, or her mind. We've only got MrB's reporting of the situation to go off, but the indication seems to be that she hasn't known this guy for long and the financial security is a major factor. Both those things ring alarm bells for me. But like I say, I hope I'm wrong.

I didn't mean it in a fairytale sense either. Being in love is anything but fairytale-like. The happily ever after part is never guaranteed. Most people are lucky if they survive the 'in love' stage and develop real love and a real bond when all the excitement is done.

No, it's equally ill-advised in my opinion. In fact, it may well be that he stands to lose more here (both emotionally and financially) than she does.

I agree that he stands to lose more financially since he is the one with the money, but I can't say who stands to lose more where matters of the heart are concerned.

I deliberately didn't suggest that she was a "gold digger" because, as you say, we don't know that she is. She may well be going into this hoping that it will work out as a stable long term relationship. But doesn't it seem to have "convenience" written all over it? For both parties?

I know a gay man and a lesbian who were married out of convenience. lol Marriages of convenience are much more common than some might think. That's all marriage used to be about for centuries. Women were expected to marry up for thousands of years before us, and nowadays a woman is looked down upon for doing just that.

As I said, I hope it works out for everyone's sake, but my gut feeling is that it won't.

Stranger things have happened.

 

[mrb]

end of thread war ....... they will be happy at least i hope they will love a happy ending me