Would you be as shy towards another SAer?

[sevenroses]

Hey guys I was just wondering would you be as shy towards another person with social anxiety? For some reason I think in general I think I interact better and more comfortably towards shy people compared to outgoing people.

 

[AutonomousAutomaton]

I'm the same way. Especially when someone is even shyer than me, I'm positively normal! I guess I feel like they will be less judgmental of me or something.

 

[THE-INTROVERT]

i suppose i actually would say with 100% percent of my heart i would rather have a shy girlfriend than a loudmouth bitchy type girl

 

[stephen]

I think it would be excruciating to sit down with someone else with SA at least if we weren't forewarned that we were both suffering SA. If we both knew that we were both sufferers it might give us some common ground but if we didn't know we would both be sitting there in painful silence.

 

[BlackPuma]

I'm not really sure. At one hand, the person knows what you're going through, and vice versa. But on the other hand, he/she will also have the same ability to misinterpret things you say, so you'd have to concentrate on your phrasing. That might be nerve wrecking.

But in good circumstances I think I'd be more comfortable with someone who has social phobia as well. :3

 

[EscapeArtist]

I usually speak a lot more around people who appear very shy, because I'm afraid of the awkward silence that I know would come. I am more talkative, but equally judgemental towards myself if not more, this causes some problems because I say more and thus judge myself more than usual.

 

[KiaKaha]

I prefer talking to people who are more gregarious. I can understand why some people have little tolerance for the quieter ones...we ARE difficult to talk too. Someone more talkative fills in the space while I articulate my thoughts.

 

[Tiercel]

If I didn't know the other person was as screwed as me, I'd probably still be shy.

But if we both knew we were in the same screen-doored submarine, I'd be more at ease. For example: if I met someone from this site in real life it would still be awkward, but I'd actually expect it to be so. I'd probably still be quiet, since I've always been that way, but I'd be more willing to keep things moving along.

In fact, I'd expect nothing less that each of us being highly critical of the entire encounter. But maybe after enough awkwardness and critical thinkings, we could find our way out the screen door and up to the surface. And then we could deal with the ocean currents.

 

[Ignace]

When I'm with some one more shy then me, which occured max. 2 times in my life I'm way more social. I don't know, I feel normal, probably because I don't have to worry to perform well.

 

[Meisiemel]

I'd be even more uncomfortable, knowing they were also uncomfortable. I've always been more at ease with people who are the opposite of me. They usually talk so much that I don't have to do any talking.Even if I have something to say, I can't get a word in anyway and because they love to talk non-stop they don't mind at all that I don't say much.They usually tell me what a good listener I am!

 

[hippiechild]

If we each knew that the other had 'SA' and both knew that the other knew, then it would be pretty disastrous.
As soon as someone places that label on me, they have certain expectations of how I will be. Once I've been defined as socially underwhelming, I have no reason to exceed those expectations or step outside the comfort zone of being just what they expected.

"woops, I don't want to be too talkative.. I'm SA after all!"

If we both knew, but didn't know that the other knew, then it would probably work out quite well, as we could be empathetic to the other's feelings, without making an obvious spectacle of it: "oh, I know that you have SA, so I'm going to talk real, real soft to you and be super sensitive"

 

[spider04]

I don't think so

 

[Luke1993]

I reckon I'd do much better!