World moves past me...

[X-Rated]

A few days ago, my friend told me how close he is to losing his virginity with his gf. It just made me sad, because it made me realize that whilst others are moving on with their lives we are stuck at the same phase, the same problems. I mean, I have never even had a girlfriend and I can't see how i ever will.Not in the near future at least. I am not able to talk to a girl I don't know , let alone maintaining a friendship> On top of that I'm too self conscious and too thin-skinned and can bear the thought of other saying:"Look, this loser has finally got a gf". I know I shouldn't be bothered about it because it's not their business.
I get very sad and feel worthless at the thought that the world moves on and I'm being left behind because of my crippling disorder....Although, that it's the way it should be...

 

[planemo]

Yeah I seem to live in a bubble, away from most of the things which are occurring with the world around me. A high school friend got in contact with me at the start of the year - he got married and wanted me to come to his wedding. Just a few days ago a university friend also got in touch with me after a number of years, yep he's married too and both have successful careers. It made me feel like a failure, what else can I say? Comparing yourself to others only leads to sadness, I think.

yeah and I feel left behind too. ::

 

[Fighter86]

A high school friend got in contact with me at the start of the year - he got married and wanted me to come to his wedding. Just a few days ago a university friend also got in touch with me after a number of years, yep he's married too and both have successful careers. It made me feel like a failure, what else can I say?

The very same reason why I don't bother to keep intouch with old friends. About a year or two back, I actually saw a friend I was very close to when I was younger when I was walking down the street, I immediately looked the other way and pretended I didn't see her just so I wouldn't have to say hello. Incidentally, it was the same friend I bumped into several years back when I was really out and down and looked terrible, that I saw her happily with a group of friends and her significant other. I was on the train and pretended to fall asleep so she wouldn't spot me, but unfortunately for me, she did and came over to actually wake me up to speak to me. Gosh, I hate such encounters, it makes me terribly uncomfortable because for days afterwards, I cannot help but feel so sorry for myself when seeing how far others have moved ahead.

 

[planemo]

The very same reason why I don't bother to keep intouch with old friends. About a year or two back, I actually saw a friend I was very close to when I was younger when I was walking down the street, I immediately looked the other way and pretended I didn't see her just so I wouldn't have to say hello. Incidentally, it was the same friend I bumped into several years back when I was really out and down and looked terrible, that I saw her happily with a group of friends and her significant other. I was on the train and pretended to fall asleep so she wouldn't spot me, but unfortunately for me, she did and came over to actually wake me up to speak to me. Gosh, I hate such encounters, it makes me terribly uncomfortable because for days afterwards, I cannot help but feel so sorry for myself when seeing how far others have moved ahead.

Yeah tell me about it, I pretty much avoided these two friends because of how embarrassed I am of my current position in life. I could only gather the courage to sms them rather than speak to them on the phone. I told my one friend I could not make it to his wedding due to my anxiety disorder (which he knew I had), and he said it was ok. The other one really wanted to see me again and I pretty much gave him the cold shoulder, but not out of being nasty or anything, but just because I couldn't face him due to shame.

 

[Luke1993]

Hello X Rated. Yup I do feel exactly the same way as you, it feels like everybody my age has lost their virginity now, or at least been in a relationship with someone. But notice I said feels, doesn't mean it's actually the truth!

Although, that it's the way it should be...

Says who?

 

[da_illest101]

Yea i know what you mean, I'm from a family of over achievers, everyone seem to be some kind of super genius, highly motivated people. Then you have me a guy who had one of the brightest future but has zero motivation for it. Now everyone is passing me, they get girlfriends, get a life, while me i have made no advancement in the past 6 years

 

[Hottie]

No the feeling buddy...

It feels like were just doing the same sh** different day. Ive never been in a serious relationship. I only meet someone on a night out and see them for a little while after that (one the weekend, because im drunk). But im getting sick of relying on drink to get me by.

I really want to be a caring, loving, close relationship. But how can i be expected to do those things is a a bag of nerves. Things like that can get me so down sometimes. And my friends as well dont know me...they know a person who is always drunk.

it feels like everyone is doing new and exciting things with their lives but im just slowly dissappearing...

Im trying to stay positive but it is really difficult ::

 

[Snowdrop]

I think emu noodles hit the nail on the head with saying comparing ourselves only leads to sadness. I know that I have spent way too long thinking about how far apart and away I am from the people around me, friends that have found their better halves, have jobs etc.
But we all know somewhere inside of us that thinking like this leads to no improvement - we must think for ourselves and only for ourselves, if we spend our days constantly wondering about others, what does that show about how much we care for ourselves or what we see in ourselves? Low self-esteem is the worst thing. If you think about what will make YOURSELF happy, I think this is the only way you can live life.

 

[AGR]

Yes I used to think this too,maybe the world is passing me by,people younger than me with kids,settled down,stable,but in reality I see now that they dont have any plans,no stability in their relationships,have to pay child support because of bad decisions,they go with the flow often making really bad decisions, and not taking precautions,one time this will come to hunt them,pretty much my plans are starting to fall into place and there isnt anything serious standing in my way,dont get me wrong if there was something like kids in my way I would give all to take care of them.

 

[Isola]

Yeah I know what you mean.
I just do what I have to do everyday.
And that's it.

It feels like life is just slowly passing me by.

 

[X-Rated]

Hello X Rated. Yup I do feel exactly the same way as you, it feels like everybody my age has lost their virginity now, or at least been in a relationship with someone. But notice I said feels, doesn't mean it's actually the truth!



Says who?

well, what i was trying to say is that the world moves on, which is perfectly normal (everything/everyone needs to evolve, we are being held back by our anxiety unfortunately )

 

[recluse]

I know the feeling. Everyone else in relationships and here i am almost 30 and never experienced one.

 

[ILovePocky]

I know how that is. I just graduated high school last year and now most of my friends are off starting their new lives at college or working. I really don't know what to do with my future, so I'm at a stand still. It feels like we're in different worlds :S

 

[JamesSmith]

A few days ago, my friend told me how close he is to losing his virginity with his gf. It just made me sad, because it made me realize that whilst others are moving on with their lives we are stuck at the same phase, the same problems. I mean, I have never even had a girlfriend and I can't see how i ever will.Not in the near future at least. I am not able to talk to a girl I don't know , let alone maintaining a friendship> On top of that I'm too self conscious and too thin-skinned and can bear the thought of other saying:"Look, this loser has finally got a gf". I know I shouldn't be bothered about it because it's not their business.
I get very sad and feel worthless at the thought that the world moves on and I'm being left behind because of my crippling disorder....Although, that it's the way it should be...

Being a virgin is better than getting a girl pregnant at an early age. Think about it this way, you don't have kids to pay for and watch over. While you are complaining about never having a g/f, some other guy is depressed out of his mind dealing with children that are chewing up his money and time. Then there is some other guys scratching their crotch due to an STD or two. Be grateful that you don't have these things. These people who do have these things envy you more than you envy them.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Being a virgin is better than getting a girl pregnant at an early age. Think about it this way, you don't have kids to pay for and watch over. While you are complaining about never having a g/f, some other guy is depressed out of his mind dealing with children that are chewing up his money and time. Then there is some other guys scratching their crotch due to an STD or two. Be grateful that you don't have these things. These people who do have these things envy you more than you envy them.

That's one way of looking at it to be sure. And lets face it - very true. However - assuming you or "we're" not an early age now... and you are safe sex conscious... I understand X-rated. Completely and utterly. But... one thing that shouldn't hold back is what someone else may say... who frankly doesn't need to know. That's just your thoughts being displaced on them.

I was close - so close to having a full GF myself (one could argue I did for a bit) and losing my... yup. =) Despite the setback I got whirl gigged into, I know it was/is possible. (yeah I'm being cryptic about this... =) Point is, it is for you too X-rated mate, and anyone here. So. Cheers.