Women That Don't Want Children?

[RoseQuartz]

Interesting topic, I wish I had seen it before...

I'm 33 and I decided not to have children because I'm not fit to be a mother.

And hey, even though some of my friends did have them, I don't feel like "the odd one". My friends are quite understanding of my choice, and they're not the type of woman who has children and then all of a sudden they have nothing else to talk about.

Really, having children is not a guarantee of not being alone at old age. I believe the best we can do is create strong ties through friendship, not by blood or by contract.
As I can see, there are many people here who feel the same way about traditional relationships and roles, that's pretty nice. =)

 

[MotherWolff]

I don't think I could have kids even if I tried because of my diseases and illnesses. It totally sucks but I still have a shred of hope that I can someday bare children. But if I do, hopefully it will happen when I am well both physically and mentally well. Because right now I can hardly even take care of myself.....

Or I could always adopt kids: Jolie and Pitt anyone?

Well, as much as I love kids now(I was very bitter in the past towards children) I do not think I would ever have or adopt as many kids as that couple has!

 

[MollyBeGood]

Here's a great conversation about being childless and why etc... I found for you all

Should Most People be Child Free | Fox News Video

 

[Starry]

I wonder... I constantly hear online of women who do not want children complaining that society treats them as strange or that people are shocked/disturbed when they find out about their choice... But I wonder how many people that actually happens to and if there is a distinctive difference between those who do suffer such treatment and those who do not... I unfortunately do not have enough people to compare... But as an example - I shall take myself and one other person I knew...

For years I've said I do not want children (I did want them, but problems with the world, myself, etc, made me think it's best not to... However, due to the desire growing stronger - painful in fact - I now tell anyone who asks, that I do want them, but am unsure of whether to have them or not...). So my reasons were connected to worries concerning the life the child would have...

The other person I knew was adamant about not wanting children, she considered them "parasites", and hated them, she didn't want to look after someone else, especially not a "stinky, screaming, parasite".

I have never come across anyone thinking I'm strange for not wanting children. Every single person who has asked me about my plans for children (at the time I said I didn't want them) understood perfectly, and fully respected my reasoning. I was never told "you'll change your mind" or treated any differently.

Now, the other person, always complained of people not respecting her decision, treating her like a freak, or patronising her with talk of "you'll change your mind"...

I wonder if it's the reasons given that make the difference? i.e since my reasons would be considered by many as caring or non-selfish, does that make people respect them more than someone who may come across as non-caring (towards children) and selfish?

Would therefore, people who choose not to because they are worried that they wouldn't be good enough parents or that the child will suffer more than it should, receive less of the negative treatment than those who simply don't want the bother or disruption to their life?

(Of course there are many other reasons in between, but I thought these probably represent two opposites)

I have respect for people's decisions whatever they are. There are people who have children because they're selfish (the very people who shouldn't have them!) and people who do not have children because they're selfish... And the opposite of those statements is true also, people who have or do not have children because they are caring and selfless. I think this is something which all should keep in mind...

 

[MotherWolff]

I wonder... I constantly hear online of women who do not want children complaining that society treats them as strange or that people are shocked/disturbed when they find out about their choice... But I wonder how many people that actually happens to and if there is a distinctive difference between those who do suffer such treatment and those who do not... I unfortunately do not have enough people to compare... But as an example - I shall take myself and one other person I knew...

For years I've said I do not want children (I did want them, but problems with the world, myself, etc, made me think it's best not to... However, due to the desire growing stronger - painful in fact - I now tell anyone who asks, that I do want them, but am unsure of whether to have them or not...). So my reasons were connected to worries concerning the life the child would have...

The other person I knew was adamant about not wanting children, she considered them "parasites", and hated them, she didn't want to look after someone else, especially not a "stinky, screaming, parasite".

I have never come across anyone thinking I'm strange for not wanting children. Every single person who has asked me about my plans for children (at the time I said I didn't want them) understood perfectly, and fully respected my reasoning. I was never told "you'll change your mind" or treated any differently.

Now, the other person, always complained of people not respecting her decision, treating her like a freak, or patronising her with talk of "you'll change your mind"...

I wonder if it's the reasons given that make the difference? i.e since my reasons would be considered by many as caring or non-selfish, does that make people respect them more than someone who may come across as non-caring (towards children) and selfish?

Would therefore, people who choose not to because they are worried that they wouldn't be good enough parents or that the child will suffer more than it should, receive less of the negative treatment than those who simply don't want the bother or disruption to their life?

(Of course there are many other reasons in between, but I thought these probably represent two opposites)

I have respect for people's decisions whatever they are. There are people who have children because they're selfish (the very people who shouldn't have them!) and people who do not have children because they're selfish... And the opposite of those statements is true also, people who have or do not have children because they are caring and selfless. I think this is something which all should keep in mind...

You've really put some thought into this topic, huh?

 

[BlueWeepingRose]

You're not alone in this. I've thought many times if I wanted to have children, even when I was younger I tried thinking about having children and I don't think I could be able to take care of a child cause I barely can take care of myself.

Trust me it's not selfish. Everyone feels differently. Not everyone wants children.

 

[dangermouse]

It alright. I don't want children either. Too much of a financial headache