Wierd Social Phobia

[Kiwong]

That's interesting Stuckinthehouse. I never considered it OCD either. Good luck with your discussion with your therapist, please let me know what happens.

 

[theoutsider]

I always figured it was OCD. It's a thought that gets stuck in your head and doesn't go away. I remember when I first started reading about OCD, that was one of the symptoms of it. It seems obsessive suicidal thoughts are the most common (I don't have those). Also common is the thought that something terrible is going to happen to someone you love. I have those thoughts sometimes but I wouldn't say I obsess over them.

 

[AGR]

It's ok to look,but just take a glimpse don't keep staring at it,sometimes when there is a desk and we have to sit facing each other I can't help but look,no trouble so far,if you don't keep staring they mostly will pretent that they didn't see.

 

[AGR]

If you force yourself to not look,the will to look will become greater, so just take a glimpse and be over with

 

[theoutsider]

Thank you all for ur support. For me it is not a sexual thing at all as others have said. It is just the specific trigger I have. The normal scenario is, as soon as a female enters room my anxiety peaks and my brain says oh no, hope it's not alow cut shirt, I do a quick check and hope for a tshirt or turtleneck. But if not then I immediately feel the adrenaline rise and anxiety kick in. The remainder of the situation I look for angles to avoid eye contact, ways to get out of the room, anything to avoid looking at the person. I realize desensitization is needed but I struggle to find ways to try. I try it watching tv but I have realized it is real life scenarios that bring it on, I am totally fine looking at tv. I am really trying to find a way to cope but nothing seems to work well. For the poster that mentioned moles, arm, etc it is very similar to that for me. Almost like my brain is telling me not to which makes it impossible not to. I have told my wife but I am not sure she truly understands it although thankfully she understands it is not sexual. Sorry for the rambling but it does feel great to know there are others And we are all trying to work thru it.

Yeah, practicing with TV doesn't work for me either. It's a totally different situation as the people on TV can't see if you're looking or not. Therefore, no feeling so anxiety on my part. I've also noticed that most strangers on the street don't trigger it. I guess if I had to talk to them it would but just walking past or sitting near them doesn't cause anxiety. I guess because I Don't know them at all and will most likely never have contact with them again, what they think of me doesn't matter that much.

 

[Kiwong]

If you force yourself to not look,the will to look will become greater, so just take a glimpse and be over with

The anxiety only ends when the trigger is removed. It isn't a matter of only looking once and being done with it. If only it was that simple.

 

[theoutsider]

The anxiety only ends when the trigger is removed. It isn't a matter of only looking once and being done with it. If only it was that simple.

This is the most difficult thing to get across to those who don't experience it. Before this became a problem for me, I could easily look once and be done with it. Not so much now, this is totally different.

 

[theoutsider]

 

[jaim38]

Today I started reading manga and I came across some pages showing characters in sexually revealing clothes and erotic positions. Usually, I would kinda freak out and skip over the pages, but this time, I kinda took my time observing the details. I didn't blush like in the past. The more I did it, the more I got used to it. I guess that's progress!

If you force yourself to not look,the will to look will become greater, so just take a glimpse and be over with

That's very true. That's why I have abandoned this approach.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I haven't read all of the responses but from your first post it is something that can turn into OCD (if you already have an OCD predisposition).

OCD a lot of times operates on fear and shame. As long as you believe looking at cleavage is wrong, you will most likely have a compulsion to look at it, or avoid looking at the person all together to prevent yourself from making a "mistake".

There is nothing wrong with looking at cleavage. So look without shame and don't worry about it.

 

[Baggies99]

Did anyone get any solutions, I have the same issue. Would love to know if people made progress a year down the line