Why is he doing this to me???

bella1968

bella1968

Member
I am crazy about a man i work with :) but he is the most painfully shy man i have ever met!!!!!!

He is sweet, funny, intelligent, tells funny jokes...and plays them too and i find him VERY attractive. Now the problem is he is all those things and thensone ACCEPT when he's around me, then he is a different man.

He can barely look me in the eye, he can't smile, he looks like someone is holding his balls when he looks at me...lol...its as if he forgets to breathe or something. He even does this thing where he will be talking to others sometimes in a small group but constantly looks over at me...standing a few feet away until i look back and then he looks away and we keep repeating this over and over again...is he flirting???

He can't seem to look at me for more than a few seconds at a time and he never treats me like everyone else...he iso relaxed, funny and comfortable with everyone in the building!!!

Now i thought, well maybe he likes me too...someone noticed his behavior towards me and was like...yep, its a CRUSH!!!!!!!


So, i had a mutual friend ask if maybe we could all go out, she offered to set us up and he said NO!!! I was crushed. He said he was dating and wasn't interested..

In all the years she has worked with him (over 10 yrs) he has NEVER brought up a girlfriend, dating, relationships, etc. she thinks he likes me but can't bring himself to deal with it. He's in his 30's now and is so painfully shy!!! I feel so badly for him...and myself :(

She even asked why he treats me SO differently??? He never says no when i need something done (he's in maintenance) he gives EVERYONE else a hard time, plays jokes on them all the time--never jokes around with me EVER, he can't look me in the eye for long periods of time, gets all red in the face...

She said he just put his head down and didn't answer her when she asked why treat me like that????


What do i do? I like him sooooooooo much!

Its so awkward now, we don't even say hello anymore. It took him months to say hello to me first (i thought we were going to move forward from there) cuz saying hello seemed to be a big deal for him!!! But then i got our coworker involved and now he seems so upset. He tried to talk to me...say Good Morning one morning (after the talk) but i felt so rejected and hurt that i bllew him off and just put my head down and walked away and now he won't even look at me!!! I don't keep my door open to my classroom either like i use to when we would talk alittle...i guess he noticed that too!!!!!!


But why is he acting like this, i am the hurt one???


What do i do..why did he say NO to getting to know me better????


I know he likes me too.


Please help :oops:
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
Well it sounds like this guy feels the same about you. Is he shy with women in general o'r just with you in particular? If he's shy with you in particular it's pretty obvious that he likes you, but if he's already dating then you can't do anything about that.
 
steviegerrard489

steviegerrard489

Well-known member
bella1968 said:
What do i do..why did he say NO to getting to know me better????


I know he likes me too.


Please help :oops:
Click to expand...

Write him an email / letter just saying you would like to be friends and go for a coffee or something?
 
bella1968

bella1968

Member
Yes!! I am the ONLY female he does this with he laughs and jokes with all the other women in the place; single, married, pregnant, etc.!!!

Which is why our coworker brought it up to him to ask WHY. He doesn't joke with me, goof around, act silly, play practical jokes, etc. He is sooooo serious with me, soft spoken and just seems so sad when he looks at me sometimes, i never see the fun, happy go lucky side of him.

He also does this thing when i walk into the office or my classroom where he has to walk to other side of the room, look out the window for a bit and then when he is relaxed walk back...it seems he has to PREPARE himself to talk to me sometimes!!!! He has done that about 3 or 4 times.

Like i said the "Hello" thing took months...and now he says it first all the time (well he use to) but it seems like such an accomplishment for him, i was actually excited cuz i thought maybe this is a step in the right direction :) until our coworker spoke to him and i couldn't handle the answer...then i became cold and now he is acting that way towards me...he looks really upset too...but why? I was rejected not him!!!

And about him "dating" i can't imagine him approaching a girl he is nuts about...he can't even look me in the eyes without turning red or remembering to breathe...how could he have a date with a girl?

I think we are alot alike in that we are too shy to be up front and tell the other how we feel :(
 
bigDean636

bigDean636

Active member
You asked him out (or, like a 9th grader, got a friend to do it...?) and he turned you down. He's not into you, I'd say move on.
 
bella1968

bella1968

Member
It's the 9th grader here...ok, maybe your right...which i don't feel in my gut but for argument sake, why treat me so differently than all the other women in the building? I know when someone has a crush (and apparently so does some of our coworkers) thats why i was SO upset when he said no...it made no sense except that his shyness and anxiety got the best of him.


Also, why does he look so miserable now? I can see why i was acting hurt, but him? You'd think i had turned him down and not the other way around.
 
sp_69_24_241_cutie

sp_69_24_241_cutie

New member
i think u should take the first steps
instead of getting ur co-workers to ask for u why dont u ask him? maybe that will push him to ask u out or sumthing
and i no ur shy but if u really honestly like this guy then u have to push urself or else ull never no wht u gave up!
just ask him it cant be that bad.
 
TAMPA-BAY

TAMPA-BAY

Well-known member
I agree with the privous post but i also understand the dificulty with having two shy people try to hook up. Its dam near impossable. I think he probaly likes you. I and lots of other shy guys will be able to socialize a bit with everone but the person who they are attracted to because its a kind of fear of success.

That guy you like knows if he goes out with you he will be in the spotlight which brings attention. Sounds like a classic case of anxiety. Also you would probaly be his first so its probaly realy stressfull on him.

I am in no position my slef to give dateing advise so I dont know what else to say.
 
bella1968

bella1968

Member
He's 6'3", really nice build, broad shoulders, big brown eyes, nice smile...he is very handsome...everyone thinks so especially me :D
 
bella1968

bella1968

Member
LOL!!!! Does he want to bang me? Then why aren't we together at this moment? I wish i could give him something, a magic pill or potion to make him get up the confidence and courage to give US achance....i wish a miracle could happen for us :D
 
SocialRetahd

SocialRetahd

Well-known member
I agree with Tampa Bay.

If you want to siphon baby batter from his meat stick anytime soon, You better let him know your interested.
 
Generical

Generical

Well-known member
first off wtf ^

And the reason he is so miserable is because he most likely wanted to say yes but becuase of him being so shy he couldnt so he freaking hates himself for that............probs gone over that convo like a million times. Like someone said before (sorry cant remember who) an email or something might work and is definitely worth a try, but as always he may still chicken out and say he's in a relationship.

I think you just have to corner him lol but yeah you could try talking to him, try and say something to make it so he understands that you understand he wants to run away but probably be with you at the same time.

But him saying no before does make it very embarrising for you to ask him again although this time it may be better as its actually you although he may suffocate while you do it..................you gotta somehow get into his head.............keep trying i guess
 
DisgustingPete

DisgustingPete

Member
SocialRetahd said:
I agree with Tampa Bay.

If you want to siphon baby batter from his meat stick anytime soon, You better let him know your interested.
Click to expand...

I agree too. Imagine him doing this to you:

Watch_Out_For_Evil_Bert.jpg


I bet you would be as wet as the Nile.
 
S

shynobody

Well-known member
8O 8O 8O 8O feel a censor coming lol. *saves pic just in case* :p.

umm i can relate to you bella. i know there's this girl that lives by me that might sorta like me cuz she always goes to this park that is between our houses and looks at me. i could just feel it...vibes? :? course i've been wrong before, but i think i'm right this time. but too afraid to ask her because the last time we talked, we had an argument. do you get vibes from him?...believe in vibes? lol. i'm not an expert at dating situations so i can't give any advice...sorry. good luck and hope you get him :wink:
 
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