Why do you guys tell everyone that you have social phobia?

[KiaKaha]

I mentioned that I was a little bit bashful to my boss the other day... he didnt say much but he kind of scoffed at it... I dont think people really understand shyness and SA, its just doesnt register with people how someone can be that way. I just keep it to myself really... for fear of judgment.

 

[R3K]

I think a lot of non SA people know about SA in general, though they don't talk about it (at least not around social phobics). something like 5million americans have it? eventually each of your friends is gonna cross a social phobic's path in their lives and there's a good chance they're suspecting you're one so what's the harm in telling them you are?

 

[Snowdrop]

I've only told a few close people and that was only because it became too much for me to handle. It's true, sometimes I regret telling them because it hurts to see them hurt and for some reason the fact that they care makes me feel terrible :/ I don't know whether I'd tell a friend a) because they're not as close therefore b) they might see me as a cripple, realize what's going on in my head, therefore might think I'm crazy and slowly not want to be around with me anymore...
I don't know though, this might all just be the worse possible outcome I've thought of in my head.

 

[BlackPuma]

There are some judgmental people out there whom would simply label you ''weird'' without further investigation.

This isn't because they're ''bad'' people, but most likely because they're mentally lazy and do not wish to go out of their mental comfort zone. By telling them what you have, they're forced to see you as something else then just ''weird''.

And besides, if people do see you're uncomfortable with people, it can only be good to elaborate as to why that is. So they might be able to assist you in your difficulties (when necessary).

Don't get me wrong, though. I don't nearly tell everyone. I merely tell it to the people for whom it is relevant to know, and to those whom are genuinely interested.

 

[ikbenrifi]

Really, i don't see a point behind telling people that i have SA, it'll not do any good for me, in doing so, people will always perceive me as an SAer, so i'll have more job to do which is to clear that image from their minds !

People generally like to have contact with someone confident, and that's what we should do, to show confidence, even it's really a fake, they will treat you as a normal person and that's going to be very helpful in the end.

 

[userremoved]

Really, i don't see a point behind telling people that i have SA, it'll not do any good for me, in doing so, people will always perceive me as an SAer, so i'll have more job to do which is to clear that image from their minds !

People generally like to have contact with someone confident, and that's what we should do, to show confidence, even it's really a fake, they will treat you as a normal person and that's going to be very helpful in the end.

I'm starting to agree with this considering recent events in my life. I at this point see no benefit in revealing such details, people usually don't handle it well and you spend a lot of time wondering if they think you're crazy afterwards. Fake it till you make it and only tell people who are very intimate with you I say.

 

[da_illest101]

so far everyone i told has been very supporting, sure some don't really understand but their attitude towards me hasn't change one bit

 

[ikbenrifi]

I at this point see no benefit in revealing such details, people usually don't handle it well and you spend a lot of time wondering if they think you're crazy afterwards. QUOTE]

That's 100 percent true. We have to keep some things for ourselves and not reveal everything, which we ,SAers, fail to do.

 

[Kinetik]

I think we sell ourselves short when we call ourselves social phobics. Many of us fall well within the spectrum of what's 'normal' whereas we all too often want there to be something wrong with us so that we don't feel like we're crazy. It's easier to put a label on ourselves than it is to realize that we are just somewhat below average in our ability to relate to and connect with other people. The thing is though, the world's population is growing, which means as time goes on there's an ever-increasing diversity among people, and having a worldwide standard for socializing (or anything else really) becomes less and less relevant.

To answer the original question though, I keep my anxieties to myself if at all possible. Telling people has only ever worked against me. It's a shame, because we want to share our problems with others, but not be pitied, ridiculed, or get bad advice that we can't or won't follow.

 

[Horatio]

When my anxiety and depression came back I was reluctant to tell anyone. I didn't want the stigma that goes with having a mental illness. What changed my mind was that I thought some of my good friends were taking it personally when I turned down invitations to go out.

By being honest with them they know that although I might not be jumping at the chance to go partying like I used to, that it isn't a problem with them at all but it is a problem that I'm trying to deal with.