why do women always look past me?

no1

no1

Banned
when I talk to them. I think they try to make it obvious to me. They get all.. mad at me like they just saw something they didn't like but trying to keep it themselves, trying to ignore me. Every girl looks at me like I'm some immature fool, or lower being of some sort.

Like 99.9 percent of all women do this to me.

Does the whole world of women carry the same hatred they have of me?

I feel like all of them are annoyed by me. They kinda subconsciously push me away... or I the same. And I dont know why this happens. I feel like am equally hated by all women in this world the same way. They all look at me with some sort of disapproval. They ignore me.

The worst thing about it is that all my problems seem so natural to me so as to foreshadow my coming "bad future".

My worth had been in the hands of women who showed me no love. Now I just feel like giving up on looking for a mate. If it comes it will come, and if I'm desperate well... I've got to learn to control my body, and my hormones.
 
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Danfalc

Danfalc

Banned
Hey i hope this doesnt come across harsh or anything because i am just trying to help.I know it isnt easy feeling rejected and stuff...especialy by the opposite sex because i think we all yearn to have relationships.

But maybe you need to stop focussing on girls as much?Maybe focus on getting over your anxiety and stuff and just try and learn to enjoy like without constantly worrying about what girls think.Maybe your just not in a stage yet where your well enough for a relationship and should focus on other things.
 
no1

no1

Banned
Danfalc said:
Hey i hope this doesnt come across harsh or anything because i am just trying to help.I know it isnt easy feeling rejected and stuff...especialy by the opposite sex because i think we all yearn to have relationships.

But maybe you need to stop focussing on girls as much?Maybe focus on getting over your anxiety and stuff and just try and learn to enjoy like without constantly worrying about what girls think.Maybe your just not in a stage yet where your well enough for a relationship and should focus on other things.
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I guess. It may not be just women who do this.
 
L

lookyloo

Member
Hey no1, Don't let this get you down buddy.
It sounds to me like your "Core Belief" or "Preconception" is that you will fail when talking to the oposit sex. More than likely, as soon as a woman starts talking to you a negative automatic thought pops up in your mind to tell you that you will fail, or look like a fool or what ever... When this happens, you set your self up to fail. You need to work on these core beleifs and automatic thoughts. You sound like a nice guy on the forum, I'm sure you are off it too. Try to attend some class that will force you to interact with women more. Maybe a dance school?
 
no1

no1

Banned
MadCat said:
I agree, women generally (I think) feel uneasy around men that are skittish/nervous.
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it's possible that even men do this.

I think it's wrong though for women to look down on me just because I may have some faults or some problems/issues to deal with (just as everyone else, except maybe a different type of problem) as if I am some lower male compared to all the others (ie not an alpha male) which can pretty much group me in the category of scum who should probably die in "natural selection."

I guess, it's been normal to see anyone with some kind of mental problem as being morally debased as well, and treat that person as a morally debased person. Or stupid, but why make fun of someone and insult someone who is stupid and treat them like how criminals are taught, like lowly scum who (to them) don't deserve to live?

I think men are expected to be the strongest, to show no emotion. Just for the girls, (and for the enemies) because we have to show that we are the most brutal, physically strong, etc. while inner/"hidden" strength is not as easy to spot...I guess physical characteristics are easier to judge a person with.

Though I myself if I see someone nervous, I would try to accept him/her for who he/she is, for underneath that nervousness he/she probably really wants to reach out.
 
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M

MadCat

Well-known member
no1 said:
it's possible that even men do this.

I think it's wrong though for women to look down on me just because I may have some faults or some problems/issues to deal with (just as everyone else, except maybe a different type of problem) as if I am some lower male compared to all the others (ie not an alpha male) which can pretty much group me in the category of scum who should probably die in "natural selection."

I guess, it's been normal to see anyone with some kind of mental problem as being morally debased as well, and treat that person as a morally debased person. Or stupid, but why make fun of someone and insult someone who is stupid and treat them like how criminals are taught, like lowly scum who (to them) don't deserve to live?

I think men are expected to be the strongest, to show no emotion. Just for the girls, (and for the enemies) because we have to show that we are the most brutal, physically strong, etc. while inner/"hidden" strength is not as easy to spot...I guess physical characteristics are easier to judge a person with.

Though I myself if I see someone nervous, I would try to accept him/her for who he/she is, for underneath that nervousness he/she probably really wants to reach out.
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I think it all boils down to this...

Nervousness that is externally manifested shows a weakness in a superficial way. Women see this weakness and avoid you. I don't even know why, but that's how I think it probably works. It's just unfair though, we're no longer living in a world where we have to select perfect partners for reproduction because they are so few of them.

For some reason it seems to affect women more than men, whereas they negatively view us based on our anxiety/fear/nervous behavior. As you, if I see someone nervous I will look below and try to understand why, and accept them for who they are, not about if that person is danger to me or not.

I think truthfully the most dangerous people are the quiet, silent types, more so than those who externally show their fears. I think a lot of people need to understand this and stop viewing us as lesser people, because we DO have feelings, probably more so than a lot of them.
 
no1

no1

Banned
MadCat said:
I think it all boils down to this...

Nervousness that is externally manifested shows a weakness in a superficial way. Women see this weakness and avoid you. I don't even know why, but that's how I think it probably works. It's just unfair though, we're no longer living in a world where we have to select perfect partners for reproduction because they are so few of them.

For some reason it seems to affect women more than men, whereas they negatively view us based on our anxiety/fear/nervous behavior. As you, if I see someone nervous I will look below and try to understand why, and accept them for who they are, not about if that person is danger to me or not.

I think truthfully the most dangerous people are the quiet, silent types, more so than those who externally show their fears. I think a lot of people need to understand this and stop viewing us as lesser people, because we DO have feelings, probably more so than a lot of them.
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I don't think I am in any way good at not showing my fears. Women smell it from a mile away and judge me for it. Guys the same. It's best to just not have fear.
 
M

MadCat

Well-known member
Unfortunately it's not as easy as that to just get rid of it. No matter how well you can disguise it, they will always notice something wrong with you. Those women (and men) are not really that good people to be around anyway I think. If they judge you so quickly, then best off not even talking to them. There are some women and men out there that, like you, will accept you for who you are and not judge you based on your fears.
 
no1

no1

Banned
I guess, it's been normal to see anyone with some kind of mental problem as being morally debased as well, and treat that person as a morally debased person. Or stupid, but why make fun of someone and insult someone who is stupid and treat them like how criminals are taught, like lowly scum who (to them) don't deserve to live?
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Sometimes I think I am hated worse than criminals. Like fear is the most deadliest thing on this planet. It's like a disease that only the weak and morally debased people get. So yea why not hate them. They are the disease of this planet, those fearful weak and timid people. No understanding should be shown. Right? No help,just let them to die off for they are too meek to live in this world and they are the weakest link.

What most people don't understand is that perhaps these people do need help.. or at least do you think they really enjoy all this suffering attributed to them?
 
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Perfidion

Perfidion

Well-known member
Women can smell desperation, and if you reek of it, they'll treat you like a leper. I mean, it might be the nervousness, or it might be that you come across as someone desperate to be liked and accepted -- someone who tries too hard. You can't expect everyone to like you, even if you're a really great person. Someone, somewhere, irrespective of gender, is going to treat you like something they'd scrape off the sole of their shoe. People are like that, and there's not a lot you can do but to accept it. Like yourself for who you are, and others will be more inclined to respond positively, and if they're not, it's their loss. You are not worthless and you are not insignificant. Remember that.
 
Danfalc

Danfalc

Banned
lurknomore said:
Maybe they meant that dangerous people are more likely to be quiet- not the other way around, if this makes sense.
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Yeah its just one of those sayings people have :) "its the quite ones you have to watch out for" or somthing along those lines
 
no1

no1

Banned
well you see. there's also this girl that sits by me in the computer class. And I try to talk to her, like a normal person. But then she looks all annoyed by me all the time. she may be able to tell that I try hard.
 
no1

no1

Banned
Perfidion said:
Women can smell desperation, and if you reek of it, they'll treat you like a leper. I mean, it might be the nervousness, or it might be that you come across as someone desperate to be liked and accepted -- someone who tries too hard.
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that's just not right. So what if I seem desperate? maybe it's for a reason? If someone needs help what are you going to do, let him/her die on his/her own?

F*ck we might as well start a huge genocyde on any single male who has any sort of problems because they are "negative" and "negativity" breed only more negativity because it's never able to be transmuted into "goodness."

Nobody would be left.
 
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cosmosis

cosmosis

Well-known member
SilentType said:
Why does being quiet make some one dangerous?


Peace
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That is interesting. I've always wondered that too. I like to think about it in the way dogs work.

When two dogs meet, they will usually sniff each other, get into each others faces, play around a bit to see who is stronger and more dominant and then after little bit they are both relaxed. If there is a dog that doens't want to socialize at all, they make the other dog or dogs very uneasy and they won't relax around them.

Humans arn't that different. When normal outgoing people meet, they size each other up just like dogs and then they relax once they know each others place and the level of threat. If you don't play by those rules, people don't know how to categorize you and that makes them uneasy and unsure of any possible social threat. Usually they will just ignore you and subconsciously hope that you just go away because you arn't playing by the rules.
 
mndigi

mndigi

Well-known member
Do what I do. Forget about ever having a partner of the opposite sex. At least before you fix your disorder.
 
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