why can't some ppl understand alone time?

[LazyHermitCrab]

If I say I just want to be alone I get asked, "oh what are you doing and with who?" If I answer "Write by myself" or something like that I get "Oh you're free!" No I need to recharge to talk with people at all! Even some claimed introverts are like "oh we can just play videogames together". That's still an activity with someone and I need to be alone alone. How do you explain this in a nicer way or is it just not something that can be understood? I make up activities I'm doing just to be alone, because it doesn't seem possible.

 

[Ithior]

My friends can't understand that when I have exams coming up the last thing I want to do is go out with them. They think it's a time to relax and get away from the books but when I come back home I feel extremely tired and my studying gets delayed a lot (even if I go out at night and only have to study the next day; and no I don't drink alcohol, so no hangovers).

 

[MotherWolff]

Yeah. I get that alot, especially from my dad. He doesn't understand me at all. He even told me not to stay in my room for a long time during the day. Sometimes I just want to do things alone, like watch tv or read a book. Sometimes I want to play one-player videogames. I don't know a nice way to tell people that you want to be alone, to tell you the truth.....:question:

 

[cowboyup]

Boy can I relate! I've been a bit misanthropic lately and my brother, et al have no undertanding as to why I need to recharge from interaction with people.

The only friend I've been able to keep, who lives clear across the country, when asked what I'm up to "this weekend" or such, and if I tell the person, alone, I just want some peace and quiet to recharge...they automatically assume I am going to spend the weekend with a guy or something. When I say no, they say I am a dork.

Can't win.

Oh well, it's just who I am and that's OK

 

[cowboyup]

My friends can't understand that when I have exams coming up the last thing I want to do is go out with them. They think it's a time to relax and get away from the books but when I come back home I feel extremely tired and my studying gets delayed a lot (even if I go out at night and only have to study the next day; and no I don't drink alcohol, so no hangovers).

Yup, that's another thing, I don't do any drugs, alcohol nor smoking. Unfortunately I live in a party/tourist town and nobody understands how I can simply say no to a glass of wine or beer. I just don't like it. End of story...Wish others would understand. I hate being called a dork for everything I do.

 

[MikeyC]

If you tell someone you're wanting some alone time, it can be misconstrued as you don't like them and you don't want to hang out with them. Obviously that's not the case if you like a person, but it's not easy to explain why you want to be alone.

Since explanations never work, it is okay to lie and say that you're going to catch up on sleep (which may not even be a lie!), or that you're going to have a quiet one.

 

[vj288]

I think no matter what you say some people are going to assume you're just trying to avoid them, not that they don't understand the idea of alone time. Extroverts do get energized by social situations, but most I would think enjoy a little alone time here and there anyway, and if not are able to comprehend the idea of it.

If I needed some time alone, I probably wouldn't say "alone time" personally, but don't think there's anything wrong with saying it like that. I'd probably say that I was going to "relax" or "chill out at home" or "catch up on chores/errands/homework." Or more vaguely that I have things to do and it's none of their business.

Thinking about it, I guess technically what we say when we say something like that though is "I am not doing anything today, but I don't want to hang out with you" which could be seen as sort of offensive at their end. So maybe emphasizing that it has nothing to do with them somehow would help too?

 

[MikeyC]

If I needed some time alone, I probably wouldn't say "alone time" personally, but don't think there's anything wrong with saying it like that. I'd probably say that I was going to "relax" or "chill out at home" or "catch up on chores/errands/homework." Or more vaguely that I have things to do and it's none of their business.

Excellent. :thumbup: